LizstarTrek - DS9 Season 3
Odo is the Title, Take a Drink
Every Sunday my Twitch subs and I watch Star Trek in my Discord. Here are my reviews and thoughts on each of the episodes as I see it. If you’re curious about a nerd’s views on Star Trek episodes, please read on, I go quite in depth with some of this episodes! I’ve watched some Star Trek before but not all of it!
The Search, Part 1 - DS9 9/10
Continuing after the season finale last time, everyone is scared shitless of the Dominion. Estimates show that if they wanted they could invade and board the station immediately and no one could stop them. As they’re talking, a Federation ship shows up, cloaked, and freaks them the fuck out. Turns out it’s FINALLY time to introduce the little dust buster that could!
Yes, the Defiant! Sisko invented the Defiant, which is basically a giant fucking gun with a warp drive, to try and get over his anger at the Borg killing his wife. It kept almost blowing itself up so it was mothballed for years. It’s being brought out to show the Federation has teeth. Also it has a cloaking device, under loan from the Romulans, which is interesting. I’d think they’d rather go for the
Also we’ve got a new dude, Michael Eddibngton, who is our new head of security! Oh no, did Odo leave the show? Nope! He’s ALSO pissed, and resigned from his position, because it’d mean he’d be 2nd.
There’s some good stuff here with Sisko. He’s showing a lot of passion, he’s viewing DS9 as his home. He’s finally really here, fighting for DS9, for Bajor.
The Defiant, with all main characters (Odo is asked to come along by Kira, and Quark is brought along via blackmail). There’s some good tense moments about whether the Jem’Hadar can detect cloaked ships, but it appears no, thankfully. Quark’s trade contact explains, the Founders are unknown. No one knows if they even exist. The Vorta are the main contact for anyone in the Dominion, and if you anger them, they send in the Jem’Hadar, and then you fucking die. He DOES send them on a wild goose chase to where they MIGHT be.
While examining this new planet, O’Brien and Dax beam to the surface, find a new lead, and are captured. Sisko immediately abandons them and flies away to where they sent us. Which is kinda fucked up, and Bashir is VERY not happy. At the same time, Odo saw some kind of Neluba, the Omarian Nebula, and feels COMPELLED to go there. While he’s angrily declaring he HAS to leave to Kira, they’re attacked by the Jem’Hadar, who manage to break through the cloak. They are EASILY overwhelmed, the Defiant is fucking exploding and they’re boarded and easily taken prisoner. Kira and Odo manage to escape on a shuttle and head towards…
A class M planet floating through space. Dunno how it’s class M but okay. And here they find…
The Search, Part 2 - DS9 9/10
Our episode starts with explaining what Odo is. His people live in The Great Link, and are his family. He’s a bit overhelmed but happy. One of them, a female changeling, “links” with him (against the wishes of the other changelings), and he realizes it. He’s home. Overwhelmed with emotion, he smiles in a way that’s not at all creepy.
Meanwhile, Bashir and Sisko are stuck and running out of air, but are rescued by… Dax and O’Brien! They’re okay! :D
Back on the Changeling’s homeworld, Odo is a little distant and weird with Kira, who is feeling… unwanted and untrusted. Which she is. She’s called a “solid”, and is basically threatened that she can’t leave in case others know where they’re found.
Apparently the Founders met O’Brien and Dax, and agreed that they’re interested in peace. Sisko meets a Founder, and it’s Eris’ people! What a surprise! They’re here for peace~ And they invited all the major powers…. except the Romulans, who are PIIIIISSSED, and threaten there WILL be war if they’re uninvited.
Oh also Garak is here. He should be a major player now, hopefully, and I will maybe eventually stop yelling “MY BOY!!!” when he shows up on stream.
And then we get a sex scene. Is it gay when the goop touches?
The Jem’Hadar randomly attack O’Brien for the fuck of it, but no one can stop them, because that might fuck with the peace treaties. Hmmm. This episode is good at making things tense, but it’s also jumping around a lot. But a lot is happening. Dax is being reassigned randomly. An Asshole Admiral is promoting Sisko to Captain, as long as he leaves the sector, because the Federation is leaving, and trading Bajor over to the Dominion, allowing them to be their new rulers. Well. Sisko is PISSED. But what can he do? Everyone is all smiley smiles and is is very creepy and uncomfortable.
Things are happening fast. The Romulans side with the Bajorans, and will go to war with the Federation. The Bajorans refuse to just become slaves again. Sisko talks with Garak, who is… here to help out. He’s seemingly the ONLY ONE here NOT insane, which makes sense. He wants to stop the Dominion, and help everyone, and he’s the ONLY one apparently, so everyone abandoned their careers and commits fucking treason.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-jBC6kTdas
One of the best scenes EVER happens, Garak tricking some Jem’Hadar and killing them, but sadly it’s immediately followed by the worst thing ever. Garak fucking dies, which is the worst thing I have ever had to watch. The rest of them steal a shuttle, and blow up the fucking wormhole. At the same time, Odo and Kira find a way into some underground base, where they find the others locked in a simulation to determine how they’d react to the Dominion taking over the Federation. The Changelings are revealed as the Founders. Odo and Kira are DISGUSTED, especially by the Female Changeling’s defense that “hey, if we control them, they can not hurt us. We will keep them under order, which is what we all crave” and Odo refuses, disgusted. The Female Changeling, begrudgingly, lets them all go.
The first part of this wasn’t that amazing tbh, just good, didn’t have enough great moments, but I loved all the character moments in this. Everyoen gets a chance to shine. Especially simulation Garak, the only person who ISN’T weirdly out of character in the simulation.
The House of Quark - DS9 9.5/10
GOOD EPISODE ALERT. Been REAL excited for this one.
Our episode starts with Quark lamenting how all the business with the Dominion, the uncertainty of a possible war, has been terrible for business. Only one person is there, a Klingon, Kozak, drunk off his ass, who gets pissed and tries to stab Quark after running out of money to buy more bloodwine. Quark struggles, and the guy stabs himself and dies.
QUARK NO YOU’VE KILLED AGAIN
Quark sees everyone CURIOUS about how a Klingon died, and takes the opportunity to lie and say he killed the Klingon to create some mystique. Truly a smart idea, Klingons are well known for letting bygones be bygones. It works, and business begins to boom again!
Oh, this episode has a B plot. All the Bajoran kids have moved away, cause they’re afraid of the Dominion… understandable. So the school has to be closed down. Poor Keiko, this was a thing she put her heart and soul into for two years.
Oh look a Klingon is here and is not letting bygones be bygones. Quark tries to explain what ACTUALLY happened but the Klingon, the dead one’s brother, is like “UH NO. IF HE DIED BY ACCIDENT THAT IS NOT HONORABLE, AND I WILL KILL YOU”, so Quark lies again. I’m sure this will go well.
B plot again, O’Brien throws a party for his wife, claims it’s “I’m married to the most wonderful woman in the galaxy” day. What a wife guy.
Grilka, the dead Klingon’s wife, shows up and demands to know the truth. Quark tries to lie again but she’s y’know, intelligent. So he admits the truth, and she kidnaps him. Oh no, is Quark gonna be okay? No. He’s getting married.
At knife point.
So, if Kozak died in honorable combat, his house falls with no male heir. If he died by accident, the council might have made a decision based on how weird the accident was, and made Grilka the new leader of the house, despite her being a woman. That didn’t happen, because someone (His name is D’ghor) pretended to be Kozak’s brother and made Quark lie again. So now Grilka has kidnapped Quark and is forcing him to be her husband. There’s a ritual that the killer of a leader of a house can become the new leader. Okay, makes sense? Good.
I love Klingon politics.
Kozak squandered their money and now they’re in debt to this guy, D’ghor, who wants to own their house. Quark is like “oh, finances, I get that”. He’s like “look we’ve done things your way but now you dunno what the next step is. Let’s make this an EQUAL partnership and communicate”. Quark is SOMEHOW, SOMEHOW, a good husband???? And into communication? What the actual fuck.
Grilka is kinda disgusted. She IS a Klingon. D’ghor has been plotting like a Ferengi to devalue her family. Also there’s a great comment about “Thank you Quark, I am so grateful that I am willing to let you take that hand off my thigh without breaking your bones”. Big fan. Anyways, the Klingon council is kinda disgusted by D’ghor acting like a Ferengi. D’Ghor takes this as a challenge. Quark can either run, or fight D’ghor for the House. So Quark leaves, obviously.
No, Quark comes through, and is ready for HONORABLE COMBAT! What happens is one of the best scenes in Star Trek. And it ends in D’ghor being dishonored and thrown out. It’s so good to see it happen to someone who’s NOT Worf.
https://youtu.be/NEBAfVB_oEY?si=kWE4b2r5cb7K9XX6
Qapla to you too. This entire scene whips, and one of the scenes and episodes that shows how Quark is one of the best characters in all of Star Trek. Quark can out logic a Vulcan. Quark can out honor a Klingon.
Also the B-plot ends with Keiko leaving for another season, which is a shame. Apparently she was written out to allow them room to push a O’Brien and Bashir bromance which is… a thing. So this episode was ALMOST perfect, and I DID actually like the B plot (seeing O’Brien be a wife guy is cute), but it had NOTHING to do with the A plot. It could have and should have been its own episode. It’s just here to be disjointed and write out Keiko, which sucks.
Equilibrium - DS9 8.5/10
Our episode starts with Sisko and Jake inviting everyone over for dinner, in a really adorable scene. Odo doesn’t need to eat but is super interested in how food is prepared so Sisko gently talks him through how to prepare food. So then Odo begins to mix a bowl like a fucking alien. Which, y’know, he is. So it’s fair.
Then Dax comes in, exhausted from a day at work, finds Jake’s weird goofy future keyboard and is like “man I wish I had learned how to play” then plays it perfectly, confused by how she seems to know a song. She’s also weirdly mean. Sus, good set up!
Days later, Dax and Sisko are playing chess and Dax starts humming which is distracting, but hey, she’s distracted so Sisko kicks her ass. And then she gets pissy and accuses him of cheating. Then when Kira is like “wtf are you doing” she threatens her, and is really REALLY mean. I don’t like it lmfao seeing mean Dax is so uncomfortable.
Then she sees masked cult members and it’s a thing. Okay, I didn’t like mean Dax, but I gotta give Dax credit here: She IMMEDIATELY realizes something is up, goes and apologizes to everyone, and checks herself in with Bashir. Her Science Numbers are too low, and if they get TOO low, the connection between Jadzia and Dax might break. So they go back to the Trill Homeworld, which I don’t think gets a name. Things SEEM fine but then she hallucinates again, hallucinates that she’s being attacked, and proceeds to almost beat the shit out of poor Bashir.
BTW I have to say this specifically, Bashir. Season 1 Bashir was the worst Star Trek character EVER. Just absolute garbage. But now, with season 2 and 3 combined, Bashir is MUCH better. Now perfect, but y’know, B-tier. I like him better than Crusher most days. He’s good here, not trying to take care of Dax because he’s horny and wants in her pants, but because holy shit she’s in pain and is hurting and HE CAN HELP HER, SO HE WILL. Much better.
There seems to be a conspiracy abound. One of these people seems to understand what’s going on, then is terrified and refuses to talk to them after a day. Things get worse, and Jadzia is gonna be put down like a fucking dog in 48 hours if things don’t stabilize. And they found the composer of Dax’s song, but he died 85 years ago, and his records have been erased.
They find out the conspiracy. A guy, Joran Dax, was joined for 6 months, but he wasn’t SUPPOSED to. He “wasn’t suitable”, which is what all the testing is for, but a mistake was made. The government CLAIMS if an unsuitable host is given a symbiont, it’ll kill them both in days. That’s not true. But they can’t let this go out, for fear of what will happen to the symbiont population. If the population learns half of them can become joined, it’d create a mad rush, and they’d be nothing more than commodities. Yeah like, I’m usually against government conspiracies, but that’s mad fucked up. Though to protect Dax, Sisko blackmails the fucking government that he’ll tell EVERYONE if they let her die (which they fully intended to do). It sorts out, they undo the block on Dax’s memories about Joran, and while she has a lot to think about sorting out how there was a violent murderer in her history, and how to get past it.
Second Skin - DS9 9/10
Kira is contacted by someone researching a Cardassian prison, who is like “hey you were there what was it like”, but she doesn’t remmeber it at all. But the records, and the only other surviving witness remember her being there. More funky memory stuff going on!! She goes down to the prison to investigate, and is kidnapped by someone who was tailing her.
Kira reawakens on Cardassia, and she’s a Cardassian now. They claim she WAS a sleeper agent who was given the memories of a Bajoran terrorist, and set to infiltrate. And now they’re waking her back up, I guess without giving her her memories (they say they’llc ome back eventually). She meets who’s SUPPOSED to be her father, a legate, and is just… so over all of this, she’s PISSED. This poor guy seems genuinely so thrilled to finally see his daughter again, but Kira is y’know, Kira, and isn’t handlign this well. It’s like, heartbreaking actually. This dad is actually kinda sweet, caring. He’s like “We needed less spies. We needed more artists.” I like him.
THE BOY IS HERE, AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! It’s time for Garak to help dismantle some Cardassian plot!! He explains to Odo and Sisko that Kira is held by the Obsidian Order. Sisko fucking blackmails him (the second Sisko blackmail today) to get them onto Cardassia to save her.
There’s a bunch of scenes with Kira and her new dad and the Obsidian Order guy trying to get info out of her, and it’s clear, they’re SLOWLY breaking her. The dad is trying to protect her from the Obsidian Order but there’s only so much he can do, and the softness of him and the hardness of the Obsidian Order is cracking her. But just as she’s about to shatter, the dad offers to help smuggle her out and back to DS9. He just wants his daughter safe. And he’s actually secretly a dissident, which yeah, he’s a chill cool dude. But with him trying to help her, that’s what the Order REALLY wanted, and now it’s out in the open.
Garak gets them in, kills a few people, and they get out. Cardassian Daddy gives Kira one warning of “DO NOT EVER TRUST GARAK OMG”, and they basically hug it out. Very good, emotional episode.
The Abandoned - DS9 6/10
We have two disparate A and B plots this time round! Why, Sisko invited Jake’s girlfriend over and it’s time for her to meet the family, ahyuck! And for the B-Plot, Quark buys some salvage and finds a baby of some unknown species in a crate. I’m sure these will connect in a not stupid way.
Sisko gets attached to the baby, cause he really likes babies. Which like, I don’t have a lot of things in common with Sisko, and that’s REALLY something I don’t have in common with him.
And then a few hours later, Sisko is called back into see the baby. Uh, or well, not a baby, per-se…
So this kid appears to have been genetically bred for super intelligence and super growth. And after another growth spurt where he goes wild, attacks people, but he listens to Odo when he tells him to stop… turns out, he’s a Jem’Hadar. And when everyone plans to ship him off to an Alliance space station to be a specimin to study, Odo is like “uh no fuck that, I don’t let that happen to anyone ever again. And I want to do what I can do undo what the founders did to him. Give me a chance to find if he really IS just a preprogrammed killing machine, or if he can be something else.”
So this episode is about some good lore about what the Jem’Hadar are. And also I guess Sisko doesn’t like his son hooking up with a Dabo Girl which is kinda rude of him (it’s not even sex work Sisko you’re angry cause she works at hooters, don’t be weird) and also doesn’t quite fit but whatever. There was also a really cute scene of Odo getting some new quarters and bonding with Kira it was adorable.
The Jem’Hadar are born addicted to a drug only the Founders can make. Wow that’s fucked up!
There’s scenes where Odo is trying to teach the Jem’Hadar about like, being a person and being himself. The JH treats Odo like a God, and Odo explains “uh no I’m not infallable. That’s the first thing to know.” Kira is concerned about what Odo is doing, but Odo is like “I was born to be a Founder, I have that inbedded into me. You were raised to be a terrorist. I want him to have the same chance we had to be something more”. It’s a really good sentiment, and I stand by Odo on this.
Unfortunately, the boy’s genetic training is too much, and he essentially refuses to be like, rehabilitated. He wants to kill everyone, who are “not like him”, and are “his enemy”. It’s honestly EXTREMELY sad, and Odo has to admit to Kira that she was 100% right. But he smuggles the boy back to the Jem’Hadar.
This episode is literally just I-Borg, the episode where they rehabilitate a Borg. Except this time it doesn’t work. They’re un-rehabilitatable. It’s Space Orc-ism. These are a chaotic evil race with genetic coding to be evil and that can’t be stopped. It’s sad, and kinda fucked up and I’m not too into it. The rest of the episode is fine tho.
Civil Defense - DS9 8.5/10
Jake and O’Brien are down in the old ore processing unit uninstalling the old Slave Control software and installing a new operating system, I assume some form of Linux, when they set off some long dormant file, and our ol’ buddy Dukat shows up on a screen like “Bajorans who are currently revolting, you are VERY valuable slaves, so please don’t make us kill you. You have 8 minutes to comply.” Good fucking set up.
The Cardassian program is controlling the entire station now, and Odo’s codes still work so he’s trying to break it, but gas is filling up below. They manage to escape, but that starts up a counter insurgency program through the ENTIRE station. Ruh roh.
And the entire time, Dukat has a million video messages going through. I just love that Dukat, during the time while he was commanding this station, recorded a shit ton of video of himself for every contingency. There’s just terabtyes of video files on the computers sitting there.
Things go from worse to worse. THE BOY Garak comes to try and fix things and uh he kinda makes things worse, and self destruct is activated. They have two hours. Well then. And then while they’re STILL Trying to fix everything, and we’re on insurgency level 3, and there’s a fucking self destruct sequence, they activate LEVEL FOUR and the replicator creates a fucking turret.
And then things get EVEN worse. Dukat shows up. And he’s mugging so hard. He’s DEVOURING this fucking scenery. This scene is amazing, and we get some good Dukat and Garak history, where apparently Garak fucked over Dukat’s dad.
Dukat holds a threat over their heads. Give Terok Nor back to them, and he’ll save them all :D Oh that’s so simple. And he’s using the deaths of the civilians on the station as hostages. What a good guy. But when he tries to leave, to “give them time to think about it”… another message pops up, from a higher up, going “DUKAT, IF YOU HEAR THIS IT’S BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO TELEPORT OUT DURING THE SELF DESTRUCT. VERY EMBARASSING. I AM RISCINDING YOUR ACCESS CODES”. HOW MANY OF THESE VIDEOS DID THESE PEOPLE MAKE??
With Dukat’s help, they figure out how to blow up the power emitters. This causes fires, but stops forcefields, so that’s nice. There’s a fucking MGS4 microwave scene where O’Brien and Sisko climb through an on fire jeffries tube, and they end up managing to fix it just as they were about to explode.
This episode was just fun tbh, a good time.
Meridian - DS9 2.5/10
Our episode starts with Odo and Kira having pleasant conversation and lunch just as some weird creepy dude who wants in Kira’s pants shows up like “HEY WE WERE CHATTING LAST NIGHT AND YOU DISAPPEARED >:( I’M SUCH A NICE GUY.” He’s played by Jeffrey Combs in his first acting job on Star Trek and wow he didn’t start out with a bang did he. I can’t wait for Weyoun. Anyway, Kira pretends Odo is her boyfriend, to get this guy off her ass. Odo is… bothered, it seems. Hmm I wonder why.
Meanwhile, Dax and Sisko are examining a weird disrturbance they found and they find a planet morph into existence just in front of their eyes. I get the feeling these A and B plots are not going to be related. Anyways, the planet, Meridian, contacts them and explain that their planet shifts between dimensions every now and then, and invites them down to the surface.
And then this creepy-ass mother fucker asks Quark for deepfake Kira porn. On the one hand, big ups to the Trek writers for predicting this would TOTALLY be a thing. On the other hand, fucking EW. It’s not like the show shows this as a positive thing though, it is OBVIOUSLY not, it’s fucking nasty, and even Quark is kinda bothered by it. But money is money. Okay, I let Quark get away with a LOT of things but this is very much not one of them.
Half of this episode is Dax getting into a relationship and flirt with this guy from Meridian, who appears and disappears every 60 years, and the other half is Quark trying to trick Kira into a fucking holosuite. I am so checked out that it’s the next day and I’m walking out of a fucking hotel.
Jadzia eventually decides to leave and join them cause he fell in love with this new dude in 5 days. I’m sure this is going to go well.
This is the payoff for the episode. Odo and Kira turn the Kira porn into Quark Porn. You’re welcome.
Anyways, everyone says their goodbyes to Jadzia, and just as the world is about to shift back to the other dimension, everything starts to shift away without her. She’s left behind. Welp. That’s fucked up. They manage to drag her out of there just as she’s about to aspyxiate in space. Not a great pay off for a lackluster romance story. Eh.
Defiant - DS9 7.5/10
This episode starts with Kira being a grumpy gus, and we get a really good scene with Bashir where he’s like “Okay I am exercising my rights as chief medical officer. I am relieving you of duty. Go on vacation.” I need to stop going “Wow, a GOOD Bashir moment?!” cause like, there really haven’t been any BAD moments. Good moment tho.
Anyways then, He shows up.
Riker is here on vacation! He was actually on his way to Riza, but this was on the way. I dunno how, when it’s basically in a little culdecact in the galaxy, surrounded by the fucking Cardassians. But whatever. He’s here to relax, and he hits it off real good with Kira. Kira shows him a tour of the station, including the Defiant. While on there, they meet O’Brien, yay, a happy reunion! Wait no, Riker is PISSED at him for some reason. O’Brien wanders off dejected, and then Riker turns back to his normal, happy self. And then he shoots Kira.
WHOOPS TURNS OUT IT’S THOMAS RIKER! Tom pretends to be Riker still and is like “DS9, THE DEFIANT IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE, RELEASE THE CLAMPS QUICK!” they do, obviously, and then he’s like “later suckers” and zooms off. This is a good sudden twist, you expect happy cute Riker x Kira and then lol nope it’s actually Tom. I haven’t SEEN the Tom episode yet, but basically, he’s a clone of Riker who was made via teleporter accident. He’s now a member of the Maquis, a terrorist. It’s pretty wild that a literal EXACT clone of Riker would do this but I do kinda get it.
DUKAT IS HERE! Gosh they’re really doing what they can to slide Dukat into here wherever they can. I’m so happy. I LOVE Dukat right now, he’s such a fun good character. Why IS he here? He asks that too. Uh, because anti-Cardassian terrorists have the strongest Gun With a Warp Drive in the quadrant. Sisko goes to Cardassia Prime and works alongside Dukat, giving tactical info to try and protect Cardassia, and prevent them from sending a fleet into the demilitarized zone, starting a war and killing a lot of colonists.
The episode then becomes scenes from Cardassia Prime, with them trying to thwart Tom, and scenes on the Defiant, Tom trying to strike quick and quietly, as Kira tries to destabilize the Defiant. She blows up a fusion conduit in an attempt to take out the cloak, at risk to herself, so they’d be caught. Tom is confounded. She WAS a terrorist, against the Cardassians. Why the hell IS she trying to stop them? Her sympathies should be WITH them! We get a very interesting scene with her talking about what it means to be a terrorist, and how she thinks Tom is a really shit terrorist.
Is it weird that Kira has no like, solidarity with these other terrorists? Well, I think the situations are different. Also the sries does a good job of not showing ther Marquis as like, a blanket good. So far. They’re very in a gray situation, and it’s less gray all the time as they do shit like this. It feels weird though, because I always feel y’know, my own sense of justice leans me towards terrorists. But these terrorists’ reasons for doing their stuff is so stupid.
Eventually, with some wheeling and dealing by Sisko, and Kira playing to Riker’s good judgement, they make a deal. Riker will be the fall guy, be sent to a Cardassian prison, in exchange for everyone else’s lives. The mission is a failure, he cannot possibly win against the odds, so he goes with it, and it all works out. Oh, there was also some stuff about the Obsidian Order doing things it’s NOT supposed to, secretly, without the government even knowing it. Gosh, if you can’t trust the secret police.
Kira promises Riker they’ll get him out, and it’s all done. lol yeah. We NEVER see Tom again. Which is weird, like, he’s a good concept, but apparently some people stopped any more tom stories from happening. Weird.
Fascination - DS9 2/10
The Bajoran Gratitude Festival is here! We’ve got three plot points set up! Jake’s girlfriends’ dumped him to go to university, and he’s gonna go to the festival to try and get over it (but he REFUSES to have any fun). Keiko is visiting, and Miles is ready to spend some time with his wife, since y’know, she was basically written off the show. And Odo is going to actually visit the festival this year, a thing he never does, and wants to spend it with Kira, and Kira is SO excited! But also Bareil is gonna be there, cause they’re still dating. We’re just gonna ignore that he got Evil Space Pope elected, okay.
And then when Keiko finally arrives, she’s like “I had the WORST trip”, and we find out why.
THE TRASHIEST WOMAN IN SPACE IS HERE! She’s here to continue to thrust herself upon Odo, who is very VERY put upon, and this time she’s justifying it with a “I hear that your people are actually Space Dictators, that sucks, do you need a pair of tits to melt into to make you feel better”. Never change, Lwaxana.
We now have an episode set up with four scenarios, and I’m only maybe going to enjoy half of it. The festival is here, and it’s one about moving on from your troubles and renewing yourself, and having a good time. Part A: Kira and Dax are running the event, and Bareil is jealous of Dax. I WISH Kira and Dax were a lesbian couple like he seems to imagine. That part sucks because any time Bareil is on screen with Kira my eyes glaze over and I begin to speak in tongues. Part B is Jake is sad and wants to move on from his ex. That part was GONNA be okay but he just confessed his love to Kira and called her Nerys and my stomach churned SO HARD. So okay, maybe I’ll like 1/4th.
Part C is Lwaxana is horny for Odo. There’s no way I won’t enjoy that right??? Part D is Miles wanting to have a nice time with his wife but she’s terribly written and argumentative and says contradicting things. Why do I feel a 40 year old man wrote this. I just looked it up, the writer of this was LITERALLY 40 WHEN THIS EPISODE CAME OUT, FOR FUCKS SAKE.
And then shit gets worse. How do y’all feel about Love Pollen? The idea is something is making people’s passions go wild, and people start to fall for other people. Bareil is in love with Dax, causing Kira to be quiet upset, understandably. Dax is in love with Sisko, who IMMEDIATELY goes to Bashir like “THIS IS NOT RIGHT”, and as previously started, Jake is in love with Kira.
There’s also a HEARTBREAKING scene with O’Brien and Keiko. She storms out ready to divorce him, and after he mopes a bit, he goes right to her door like “Hey, I gave in my letter of resignation. I’ll go live with you on Bajor, be a house husband, and do everything I can, because the only thing I want in this world is to be with you” and Keiko is like “don’t care bitch, I need time to think about it, go hang with Sisko at his party”
And then THIS happens. And it gets worse. Quark sexually assauts Keiko, right after she gets back and announces her love for O’Brien. Christ on the cross.
I wish I knew.
YEAH, ME NEITHER, SISKO.
Anyways turns out it’s some kinda disease Lwaxana has, where her emotions spread to others, and since she was in love with Odo, it spread to others. They fell in love with those they had some kind of latent attraction for. God almighty, I hate everything. This episode can bite me.
Past Tense, Part 1 - DS9 9/10
All of DS9’s staff is off to Earth for a symposium or some shit, and some shit goes wrong with the Teleporter beam (of course it does), and they’re teleported to thje FAR OFF YEAR OF 2024. YES. And Sisko and Bashir are IMMEDIATELY found by cops and arrested. Dax is found by someone and helped. 2024 is a fucking dump, btw. I can’t wait for next year.
These two images are just fucking hilarious to me.
Dax’s bluff skill is ASTRONOMICAL, and she’s EXTREMELY good at working with this David Bowie lookin’ dude who rescued her. Like, it’s stunning. She’s almost as good as Data, if not better, at being thrust randomly into the past. Stuff like “oh, you noticed my tattoos?”
Anyways turns out they’re just a little bit before some major riots that will chance the fate of the society, and will wake America up to fix its fucking shit.
I really don’t have much to add about this episode. It’s just really good and tense. Dax trying to find them, them trying to survive in the slums. They’re assaulted by some “Ghosts”, people taking advantage of the situation to assault people in the “Sanctuaries”, the slums. Someone tries to protect them, and is killed in the process. That dude was Gabriel Bell, a protestor, and the person who protected hostages during the riots in the following week. Without him, the riots would have turned nastier and the entire future would be changed.
Sure enough, in the future, on the Defiant, everyone trying to get them back from the past suddenly lose contact with the Federation. They don’t exist. Romulans are detected in Alpha Centauri. They weren’t effected, cause they were in some kind of subspace bubble or some shit. It’s cheesy but who cares. These segments feel kinda unneccesary tbh, we don’t need to see them.
Back in the past, Bashir and Sisko have no choice but to join in on the shenanigans. There’s a guy organizing a peaceful protest, who invited them earlier, but they just wanted to be alone. Shit hits the fan pretty fast, and certainly isn’t peaceful. Some of the Ghosts hold up the processing facility and take hostages, just like history says. Sisko joins them, and takes up a new name.
To be continued. Very good setup, good concept, good payoffs so far. And a lot of this shit hits me pretty hard actually.
Past Tense, Part 2 - DS9 11/10
We get started right where we left off. Sisko jumps right into his role as Bell, the voice of reason among the rioters who are holding the hostages, keeping people safe. But Bashir is worried. In the future this is day is famous… because Bell sacrificed his life and died, saving those hostages. And now with Sisko taking his place, who’s to say what’s going to happen?
This is such a good god damn fit. Dax got DRIP.
Once again, I don’t have too much to add. This episode is a good very tense experience. And seeing these riots, these hostage situations, the slums. It’s powerful and absolutely has something to say. There’s some AMAZING lines here too. “It’s not your fault”, Bashir says to one of the processing ladies about how shitty things are here. “Everyone tells themselves that. And nothing ever improves.”
Thats just ONE of the amazing lines. There’s a great scene with a cop who was belligerant and hates everyone cause they’re poor. Sisko chews him out something FIERCE for his apathy.
Meanwhile, back in the future, the comic relief plot is happening. Kira (who totally broke her nose, fellow humans) and O’Brien are going to all the possible time periods that their readings say they MAYBE got to. This includes the 60s where they’re seen teleporting by some hippies.
Hey, it’s the baby from the Corbomite Maneuver! The Tronya baby! Good shit. Dax is accosted by him, he’s a mentally unstable person, and steals her combadge. He’s like “I’m invisible! I’m hiding from the aliens here to suck up my brains!” and Dax is like “Oh I know. I’m an alien too. But a GOOD alien. I’m here to protect the Earth. But I need that badge.”
Anyways, the rioters want two things: A job law to be passed again, and the Sanctuaries to be closed down. That’s all. The Governor is like “lol no” and sends in the national guard to kill them all. These characters are great, all of em. The rioters, and the hostages, very likable. Even the asshole violent guy gets a b it better in the end. In the end, it becomes a fucking shoot out, a very Alamo situation, and they die for what they believe in. And during the shootout, with the cops who are “just doing their jobs”, one of the hostage cops, Vin, the one who was a shithead earlier, is like “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING” and is almost shot. But Sisko/Bell takes the shot to save him. Vin has a complete turn around, and saves their lives. Love that turn around. He lets them go, and takes their ID cards. As far as history will know, Bell died in that shoot out, saving the hostages. History continues.
And it ends on the one earth shattering question from Bashir. “How could they have let it get so bad?”
This is one of the best ever.
Life Support - DS9 3.5/10
A ship docking with DS9 has a failure, and some of the people on board are injured. Specifically, Vedek Bareil has been gravely injured in the explosion. Oh no, not that guy, I sure do… like him!
Kai Winn was also on board, the Space Pope. Space Pope suspects there was foul play involved, because they were working on peace talks with Cardassia. There are a LOT of people who’d be unhappy with that, obviously.
Vedek Bariel passes away. Kira grieves in her own way, by working herself to death, but while about to do the post mortem autopsy, Bashir notices something odd, and deduces with an experimental radiation therapy, he brings Bariel back to life. Oh no, I have to deal with him some more. I swear I’d actually really like Bariel as a character if he didn’t have that dumb relationship with Kira. Like, he was the Progressive Possible Pope. He was real good. For a time.
Oh also there’s a B plot, cause this episode needs a goofy B Plot. Jake has a date, and he plans it over a hang out with Nog. Nog gets it of course, “money is money, but women are better”, the first rule of Nog. “Now where’s MY date? :D” Oh Nog. I cannot possible describe how jarringly these two plots go together. There’s a scene with Nog like “NOG WANT SEXY GIRL TO DATE”, followed by one where Bashir explains in grim detail an experimental drug that might let Bareil function for a bit, but it will cause his organs to fail.
This is the cringiest shit I have ever seen.
Half of this episode is “I must carry out the will of the prophets, even if it kills me”, smash cut to Nog being a sexist pig and getting in an argument with Jake. Even the other parts that DON’T involve Nog and Jake aren’t AMAZING. Kai Winn doesn’t quite have the same fire as she usually does. She’s trying to do something actualyl good, and though she’s killing someone, pushing for him to sacrifice himself for his country, like she’s a less hateable than usual. Apparently the actress had the flu, so like, makes sense I guess.
Bareil’s brain breaks due to the medicine. So they’re like “well let’s fix THAT too” and REPLACE HIS FUCKING BRAIN WITH CYBERNETICS. They’re turning this man into a god damn frankenstein. The original concept for this episode was apparently going to be a way to write O’Brien out of the show, cause he was considering leaving DS9 to work on other stuff. That would have been the most fucked up way to get him off the show jesus CHRIST I am glad they didn’t do that, turn O’Brien into a cyborg then kill him off.
There is a single thing here I find actually kinda fun. It is VERY stupid, but it’s stupid in a goofy DS9 way. Jake convinces Odo to arrest him and Nog, come up with a fake reason, so that he can talk to Nog and apologize. Getting FAKE ARRESTED just to talk to your friend. Jesus.
In the end the peace treaty passes, and the other half of Bareil’s brain shuts down. Bashir, who has been against all of this the ENTIRE time (he’s in full doctor mode like LET’S JUST TRY AND SAVE THE MAN’S LIFE INSTEAD????) is like “Can we PLEASE stop this omg”, when Kira is like “oh just replace the other half of his brain too!”. Kira pls. “If we replace his brain, he may talk like Bareil, but he will be gone and I will have been the man who killed him.” is a good Bashir line. Kira accepts his death and stays there, talking to him as he dies, saying all the things she wasn’t able to say when he was alive
…Bluh.
Heart of Stone - DS9 7.5/10
Our episode starts with Kira and Odo on a ship returning from diplomacy thing. Odo is gwumpy, and Kira asks why, and he’s like “well when you said no to the dinner invitation earlier, you said it for both of us. You didn’t ask ME.” “…You WANTED to go to a fancy function dinner?” “No.” “….then what’s the problem?!”
It’s such a “I don’t get you women” moment, but like, the gender roles are swapped.
They are drawn off course cause a Maquis ship goes down on a weird moon nearby. Meanwhile, Nog goes to Sisko, drops money in his lap, and goes “help me get into Star Fleet”. THE FIRST SIGN OF NOG BEING SOMETHING MORE! This is a MAJOR plot point, and it’s in the B plot of this random episode. There’s ALSO some stuff with Rom being a good engineer, which is ALSO a major plot point. What the fuck. Basically, Nog is now an adult in Ferengi, and they have a thing about becoming an apprentice once they reach of age. And he wants to learn from Sisko. It’s kinda sweet.
Back on the moon, Kira gets her foot stuck in some morphing rock that is growing up around her. Odo calls for help but they won’t hear for ages, due to some atmospheric issues. This episode goes as follows: Nog shows he is ACTUALLY serious about this, and Kira almost suffocates in a rock, while Odo freaks out and tries to cheer her up. These two plot threads do NOT go together, they are at WAR. They’re both very good but the heartbreaking sadness of Kira and Odo against the almost humorous pride at Nog doign his best? No. Doesn’t work together.
And then, as Kira’s about to die, Odo tells her the truth on why he’s not leaving. He’s in love with her. And she loves him back. At the same time, Nog admits the reason he wants to join Starfleet is because he knows he can never make it as a Ferengi. He’s not GOOD at it, like his father’s not. So he wants to be something better. And Sisko sends a letter.
And then Kira makes some slips of the tongue. And Odo admits, he knows she’s lying. She doesn’t love him. And yep, it’s actually the the Female Changeling, who was here to try and learn more of why Odo would betray his people. And she found out why. Good Odo moments doing detective work.
Quark REFUSES to let his nephew join starfleet, but Rom is like “uh I’M his dad. Good luck, son” which is a really cute moment.
This is a very important episode. I like it, both parts were good, but they did NOT fit together well.
Destiny - DS9 7/10
Some Cardassian scientists are coming on the station, thanks to a new peace treaty! How nice! Oh no, some Bajoran Vedek played by Cecil from Mr. Deeds is here to say “Hey so I’ve been told by the prophets, if they get on this station we’re all going to die”. There’s a prophecy, ““When the river wakes, stirred once more to Janir’s side, three vipers will return to their nest in the sky. When the vipers try to peer through the temple gates, a sword of stars will appear in the heavens. The temple will burn, and its gates shall be cast open”.
And CLEARLY, since a dam was just built on a big major river, that means this is what this is about. Duh. Obviously.
This kinda prophecy plot is always annoying, and like, yeah obviously, they find out this guy hates Cardassians and was actually fired as a Vedek months ago after he protested any attempts at peace treaties with the Cardassians. Besides, don’t be SILLY. There are only TWO Cardassians coming, not three! Oh hey the scientists are here, they’re nice and friendly! Oh hey, they have a third scientist coming soon. Huh :)
The third scientist is not NEARLY as nice, and berates O’Brien for the Federation’s silly changes to the inner workings of Terok Nor. It seems like a racism thing. It’s not.
It’s a sexism thing.
Anyways a comet shows up, which is TOTALLY not the sword of stars. An error happens which causes the comet to head towards the wormhole, and the Silithium that’s in it (whtever that is) will cause the wormhole to collapse. God damn Silithium. If Sargeras hadn’t stabbed Silithus it NEVER woulda launched through space as that comet. Warcraft is canon to the Trek universe.
And then this quote happens.
Apparently arguing and irritability is like flirting in Cardassian courtship. This scene is SO awkward because he’s like “I’M MARRIED ALSO WHAT THE FUCK?”. Poor girl. Anyways one of the scientists is actually a member of the Obsidian Order and sabatoges the upgrade, and they make the comet weaker. The horny Cardassian tells on her, cause she likes Humans now or something.
Sisko and Kira do some stuff that gets the comet through safely, and the Silithium opens the wormhole up just a crack to allow subspace communications through. Oops they misread the prophecy, and it was good! Like obviously the prophecy was TRUE because they have magical chaos emeralds that look at things through nonlinear time. Just gotta read em correctly. This episode was pretty alright. Nothing special.
Prophet Motive - DS9 8/10
This is another one with a silly contrast between the A and B plot. The A plot is that the Grand Nagus comes back, basically moves in with Quark. Quark basically IMMEDIATELY moves in with Nog to avoid him. And it turns out the Nagus has become philanthropic and wants to rewrite the Rules of Acquisition. Uh oh, he’s gone MAD.
Meanwhile, Bashir has been nominated for a prestigious medical award :D And he’s NOT happy about it. Yeah these plots don’t go together but it’s not NEARLY as jarring as it could be.
Anyways the Grand Nagus’s kind bullshit confuses EVERYONE. Bashir can’t find anything wrong with him, but like, he’s going to get Quark killed, cause he’s forming a Ferengi Kindness Association and he made Quark 2nd in command.
With Mehardu’s help (the Nagus’s manservant, who is HORRIFIED by what is going on), they get on his ship and find out that the Nagus has A CHAOS EMERALD. Or y’know, an orb, the thing that lets people communicate with the prophets, the aliens in the wormhole. Apparently the prophets CHANGED him somehow.
So they kidnap the Grand Nagus and transport him into the wormhole again, where Quark has a prophet experience with them, I like how these scenes go, it’s interesting, all the characters speaking as them, it’s weird but cool. Anyways they were like “The ferengi are fucked up so we turned the Nagus good. And we will do that to you too.” Quark manages to convince them not to, with one very good trick: “If you do that to me, MORE will show up to figure out wtf is going on. If you change us back you’ll never have to deal with a Ferengi ever again” which is SUPER funny. It works.
This episode was mostly funny and goofy. The Bashir subplot was NOTHING, NO payoff, NO development. But all the Quark stuff was just funny.
Vision - DS9 8/10
Time for another O’BRIEN MUST SUFFER EPISODE! :D O’Brien has an accident while working on some engineering stuff, which irradiates him. This causes him to see some weird visions. While he’s trying to convince Quark to add a dart board to the bar (this is the second time in a row O’Brien is into darts. They were trying to make it part of his character I guess), he sees a vision of himself talking to quark about maintenance issues and falls over. It’s apparently just radiation poisoning.
Meanwhile, some Romulans are here for a security briefing on the dominion. I’m sure these two things won’t combine in any way!
Later on, that same conversation with Quark happens, and they look to the side and see another O’Brien there staring at them. Quark is like “UH OKAY MAYBE WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS” which is VERY funny. Turns out he’s actually travelling through time, somewhat, and as they discuss it, he travels to a bar fight. Oh no! Luckily he saves his future self from being stabbed by a Klingon.
The Romulans are asking a lot of INVASIVE questions to learn anyhthing they can about the Dominion, asking about the time everyone was kidnapped. They badger Kira about it, insinuating she’s a spy with Odo, and that Odo is interested in her. She’s INSULTED, and when she tells Odo he’s ALSO outraged. That’s the most RIDICULOUS thing he’s EVER heard! Imagine! Him, interested in her, wanting to hold her gently and kiss her deeply, over and over. What were we talkiong about again?
In another jump, just after a bar fight, O’Brien sees himself killed by a panel. Pretty horrifying. They are now doing EVERYTHING they can to change the future, cause if O’Brien is killed DS9 will fall apart in a week.
This episode has some really funny quotes too. They have to question some Klingons and Sisko is like “well be careful” “There is no way to be careful with Klingons.” Also O’Brien dies again in the future, Bashir tells him to run some kinda scan back in the past. And when he does, Bashir is like “oh. Huh. Well, who am I to argue with me?” And don’t worry, that fixes the time jumps! Should never happen again!
Oh. It happens again.
Goodbye DS9.
Coming back in time, no clue WHY DS9 explodes, they decide to FORCE a jump into the future. It might kill O’Brien, but so many will die if he can’t fix this, so he takes the risk. He finds out its the Romulans, but he’s too sick for the return trip. So he gives his time travel device to future-o’brien as he dies, and future o’brien returns back. O’Brien is now 3 hours older! What a weird episode. The Romulans were gonna blow up DS9 and the wormhole to protect themselves from the Dominion, but they’re stopped. O’Brien has a bit of an existential crisis, trolls Quark by saying Dabo right before Dabo happens.
This episode is pretty fun, good one!
Distant Voices - DS9 7.5/10
It’s Bashir’s birthday, he’s complaining that he feels so old now! He’s turning 30 now, he’s at the MIDDLE OF HIS LIFE. I AM OLDER THAN BASHIR. FUCKING CHRIST. Anyways some guy, a Lethean, comes iwth Quark and asks for Bio-memetic gel, which is illegal, so Bashir tells him to fuck off. When Bashir gets back to his quarters, this guy electrocutes him in anger. Whoops.
When Bashir comes to, he finds DS9 ransacked and deserted. He explores and finds Quark hiding, freaking the fuck out, saying that He will get them, and kill them, like the others. He runs off, and Bashir runs after him to find THE BOY, GARAK :D Garak explains that everyone seems to be missing and no computer functions are working, ALSO Bashir appears to be aging rapidly, his hair turning gray (he is VERY hot, it is distressing). And also Bashir is hearing voices, which Garak cannot hear.
He FINALLY finds the others, all the senior staff except for Sisko, and they’re all acting… very weird, out of character, which Bashir calls out directly. They all work together to find out what’s going on and pick up a message from outside… oh hey, it’s Dax explaining that Bashir is ACTUALLY in a coma! Plot twist.
Everyone here isn’t real. He’s literally talking to himself, this is just a metaphor for his coma, essentially. Everyone is just parts of his personality. O’Brien is cautiousness, Kira is his aggression, and so on. It’s a very interesting but weird setup.
Bashir runs around trying to fix everything as the Lethean kills him piece by piece, destroying the parts of his mind that he can. It’s basically a slasher flick. And he’s getting older with every scene. Just like another great Trek doctor before him, Bashir’ actor must have gone “LATHER THAT SHIT ON ME”.
This episode is so fucking weird. What the fuck is even going on? It’s so surreal. Like, intentionally. But it’s VERY goofy in that surreal way. And Bashir’s actor is ACTING OUT OF HIS GOURD, he’s acting as hard as he fucking can.
He eventually beats the Lethean with a whole “I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT, IT IS MY MIND” speech, and wakes up. Turns out the Lethean was IMMEDIATELY arrested after attacking him. Far more threatening in his mind than in the real world.
This is a WEIRD god damn episode. But it was entertaining.
There’s no heterosexual explanation for this, though.
Through the Looking Glass - DS9 9/10
Morn is found making Vole Betting Fights, and everyone is dealing with telling Morn to fucking stop when our boy O’brien shoves a gun in Sisko’s back and drags him to the transporter.
Oh hey, it’s Mirror O’Brien! We’re back to the Mirror Universe, and the rebellion is going poorly. Captain Sisko is dead, and they need our Sisko to replace him. Sisko is VERY against this until he learns his wife is actually still alive in this universe, and if they can’t get her to join them, she’ll have to die.
HEY LOOK AT THAT IT’S TUVOK! We don’t really know him yet but here’s our first real look at Voyager. We also get Mirror Bashir and Mirror Jadzia. Everyone in the mirror universe is UNNECCESARILY hot btw. Mirror Jadzia is Sisko’s mistress and she IMMEDIATELY drags him to bed once she learns he’s not dead.
Mirror Kira is still very unhinged. And very bisexual. She’s about to makeout with part of her harem when she’s distracted. Gosh, not EVERY bisexual is unhinged. I mean, I am, but not because I’m bisexual.
Sisko is captured by Terok Nor’s forces cause Rom betrayed them (he has the lobes in this universe I guess), and he’s like “welp time for a gabit” and IMMEDIATELY starts making our with Kira as soon as they’re captured. It works. He’s kept alive (poor O’Brien is thrown in the mines but at least he’s not killed), and he gets to talk to his wife. This is an interesting scene considering all the dynamics at play.
OH FUCK ROM WAS A DOUBLE AGENT. MOTHER FUCKER’S GOT THE LOOOOBES. Unfortunately, he’s killed for it ): Poor guy.
Eventually, Sisko convinces Jennifer to join his side (she basically hated the revolution cause she assumed Mirror Sisko, who was a piece of garbage, did it for the worst reasons. Which he did lol). Through some exciting action, eventually they outsmart Kira and Gul Garak, because Sisko knows the station’s access codes (it was made by the same Cardassian in both universes lol).
Mirror episodes continue to be really great.
Improbable Cause - DS9 9.5/10
This episode starts with the funniest scene between Bashir and Garak and holy shit they are SUCH husbands. Like, it’s not even subtext. This text is dommin the scene. They’re catty husbands and then Garak goes back to his shop when it fucking explodes, and nearly kills him.
DS9 is such a weird show. There’s a fucking terrorist bombing and Garak has this to quip while he’s bleeding out on the floor. My man. But it works. ESPECIALLY with Garak, he’s just made for it. He’s got AMAZING lines here. He’s talking about Shakespeare and how much he hates him cause his stories make no sense. “How is Caesar such a good emperor if he doesn’t even realize Brutus is going to kill him????” and, of course, THIS line about the Boy Who Cried Wolf.
They find traces of something used by Flaxian assassins, and there’s a Flaxian on board. Odo gets a tracker on his ship and follows, and Garak forces his way on board. Before they can go on their “exciting trip”, the Flaxian fucking explodes. They find traces of stuff used by Romulan assassins. MORE people thrown into this. Odo pulls some threads and throws in some old debts to get an Obsidian Order agent to tell him what’s going on. 5 other Obsidian Order agents died yesterday. Only Garak survived. And then, when Garak is shown this, Odo drops the bomb.
He knows what actually happened, and has for a while. Garak blew up his own shop.
He did it because he knew an assassin was on his tail, and a bomb would be VERY good at getting Odo’s attention. Garak is good at this. We get some good actual Garak backstory and lore. About how he was Tain’s protoge, Tain being the old leader of the Obsidian Order, who is currently in trouble. They make their way there and whoops he’s not in trouble, he and the Romulan secret police are working together lol and he’s come out of retirement and taken over the Obsidian Order again. Their plan is to send a fleet they were building (in an earlier episode!) as a joint operation to attack the Dominion in one fell swoop to take them out before war can happen. Uh oh. And Tain is so impressed by all of this that he lets Garak join him…. which Garak accepts. TO THE CONTINUED!
Great episode. Absolutely amazing, nearly perfect. But I feel it’s missing some kind of spark…
The Die is Cast - DS9 10/10
Our episode starts with Bashir and O’Brien on lunch. Bashir misses his boyfriend, and O’Brien is a VERY bad replacement cause he just eats and doesn’t listen. And then uh oh, a Romulan fleet shows up. Oh AND a Cardassian fleet, with cloaking devices. That’s prolly not good! They head through the wormhole without nary a word.
Tain and Garak have a heart to heart talking about the Good Ol’ Days, and then Tain makes an order. They still have Odo locked up. He may know more about the Founders, so they need to know what he knows. Get it out of him. Oh no. It’s this episode.
The Defiant is told “UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL YOU GO INTO THE GAMMA QUADRANT TO SAVE ODO”. So they go into the Gamma quadrant to save Odo.
Garak is between a rock and a hard place. He’s told to torture Odo. He doesn’t want to and also doesn’t think Odo knows anything, but if he doesn’t… he won’t be trusted. So they use a device that was recently invented to stop Changelings from transforming. And Odo needs to turn back into a liquid soon. Oh no.
This scene is very fucked up in a good way.
They make it to the planet and blow it the fuck away. But IT’S A TRAP! They were using fake signals to trick them, the Founders are loooong gone. 150 Gem’Hadar ships arrive and blow them the fuck away. Garak goes to rescue Odo, and they find out the leader of the Romulans here is actually a Changeling, who gets them away. The Founders learned of their plans and infiltrated it to make sure it went through, cause after this, the Romulans and Cardassians are no threat. “Only the Federation and the Klingons are still a threat for now. And not for long.”
Tain goes down with his ship, clearly going bonkers, stuck in his past and his memories. Garak almost can’t get past his grasp on the past either, but is knocked out by Odo, who carries him away. Sisko and the Defiant show up just in time to save them, and they make it out! Who knows where the future will bring…
And this line…. “You know what the sad thing is, Odo?”
Amazing episode, too. This one had the spark I felt the previous one lacked. All the stuff with moving on from the past and being stuck in nostalgia, the emotion of it all, the shakespear callback, the character development, the large plot implications, it all combines into an amazing episode.
Explorers - DS9 6/10
Bashir is hitting it off with this Dabo Girl, Leeta. I’m sure she won’t ever be important. Dax comes over to hang out and he’s like “oh hey I have this telemetry information you wanted from me”
This is fucking hilarious. Also apparently the 1st in Bashir’s class will be visiting soon. He seems to have some… Feelings about her.
Also Sisko has a new look! The rare Beard and Hair Combo, an awkward growing spot. We’re ALMOST there with Sisko. He’s going to build an ancient Bajoran ship design that supposedly carried them from Bajor to Cardassia, a kind of old wood-made solar sailer. O’Brien doubts it’ll work, and is like “why even bother, just use a computer” “Because it’s fun?”
Sisko is going through a midlife crisis. Explains the beard.
Meanwhile, B plot. Bashir feels like he’ll always be second best. That’s the B Plot.
The Sisko stuff is much better. Jake wasn’t gonna join him on the trip, but he does in the end, and htey have a good father son trip. It’s actually cute. Jake has something he needs to tell Sisko about… “Dad, I’m gay, and I’m dating Nog”. Wait no not that. He’s writing a book! And he got invited to a college, so he mighjt be going to Earth, exciting! :D Also some stuff happens that almost endangers them and Sisko is like “maybe being in a sailing ship is bad” but Jake convinces him otherwise. This stuff with them is cute.
Also Bashir and O’Brien get drunk when this girl ignores Bashir.
Completely checked out from this B plot. It’s too awkward. It ends okay actually. All just a misunderstanding. Eventually it all clears up, they’ve been going through anomalies that sent them to Cardassia, which congratulates them on recreating the journey. This episode is okay.
Family Business - DS9 7.5/10
Quark is getting audited by BRUNT, OF THE FCA, the Ferengi Commerce Authority! Oh no! Or at least, he comes into the bar puts some shit on the walls and Quark and Nog close the bar in alarm.
Turns out (he had to bribe it out of Brunt a few times) that they’re being audited for the crime of their family having committed crimes… Namely, their mother has EARNED PROFIT! GASP! Quark goes back home to get a confession from his mother and finds SOMETHING ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING.
Their mother is a feminist. Quark is embarassed. Rom doesn’t seem to see anything wrong about it. This explains a lot about their characters. In Ferengi society, females must be naked, can never talk to men, and must never, EVER earn profit. Ferengi Society is weird. And like, it’s interesting. Quark, MORALLY, is in the wrong. But it’s what his society teaches and forces upon him. He grew up BULLIED about this. And it gets worse. At first it seems like it’s just 3 bars of latinum! Nope. It’s more. WAY more. He can never pay it back, and she refuses to claim guilt, because then it’d be admitting it’s wrong to earn profit.
Also there’s a B plot about this trader captain that Jake wants to set Sisko up with. She likes Baseball, which after the Baseball Wars 200 years ago, no one’s been into. They hit it off.
Eventually this turns into a fight, as they argue over their father. He was a pathetic loser who was terrible at business. This angers Quark SO much they literally start a fist fight. Ferengi are TERRIBLE at fighting thankfully. Quark is going to go RIGHT to the FCA and tell them all about her hidden investments! There’s a funny scene, basically all the scenes here are funny cause of how absurd the Ferengi homeworld is (pay 7 for the elevator, the stairs are extra steep. 3 to sit in the waiting room chair after, 1 to stand). Rom convinces him to come back though, cause Moogie is willing to share 50-50! Oops Rom lied. Moogie said no such thing, but it was the onyl way to get them to talk. In this family, Quark and Moogie both have the lobes for business. But Rom is the heart.
They have a heart to hear, it’s sweet. Quark is still very bad at being a Ferengi, even if he’s so entrenched in the culture. He sends WAY more than he needs to to his mother. He even lets her wear clothes! This episode was cute. Goofy and cute. Ferengi are fuckin’ weird.
Shakaar - DS9 6/10
O’Brien and Sisko are playing darts in the bar (they REALLY wanted to make these fucking darts a thing), when Sisko gets bad news and has to break it to Kira. The leader of the Bajoran government has passed. And they’ve announced the new leader. Kai Winn.
Because what’d be wrong with making the Fascism Space Pope PRESIDENT too???
Kira literally fucking hates her, and I don’t blame her (there’s a lot of stuff about Bariel here), which makes things more rough when Kai Winn shows up and is like “Hey, your old resistance cell leader is not giving back farming supplies we gave him that we want back. Go get it for us.” She is so MASSIVELY unlikable it is genuinely impressive. Anyways now she has to go to a farm under the orders of the government and demand them to do stuff they don’t wanna do. That’s right. It’s another Frack The Moon episode.
There was an episode like 2 seasons ago where they had to kick people off the moon so they could frack it, and I fucking hated it. This isn’t EXACTLY that, they’re not trying to kick these people off their land or anything and they’re not reacting like “I’VE LIVED HERE FOR 6 MONTHS, IT IS MY BLOOD” so it’s better. Also they were like, already friends.
Also there’s a B-Plot where O’Brien is really good at darts, Quark is using him for bets, and he’s annoyed by it. I love the DS9 A and B plot dichotomies, a lot. They’re so fucked up.
The general idea is this: They signed up 3 years ago for some Soil Reclamators, which’d make the irradiated soil better again, though it takes time. They finally got the reclamators, then the leader of the government died. A new one comes in, and she wants them back for her own pet project, which’ll make soil better to farm for exports. They’re like “wtf we got them fair and square????” though there’s like, a thing like “Why would we care about exports when our people are STARVING, we’re here to farm for them!” which is fucking weird considering replicators exist but hey whatever. The farmers refuse. So Kai Winn sends in the military, because what she wants is important, and he’s being “an arrogant, selfish man” lol
Kira of course joins her old friends in this. And this just begins to spiral out of control. She sends in more militia and declares martial law. People begin to flock to Shakaar, the old resistance cell leader, and a civil war begins to brew. Over like, 3 soil reclamators. And then she’s like “Hey uwu big federwation-senpai? Can you send in some of your miwitawy and kill the webels for us pwease uwu” and when Sisko is all “like fuck I will” she’s like “FINE, I WILL WITHDRAWAL OUR APPLICATION FOR FEDERATION MEMBERSHIP. IT’S ALL A TEST BY THE GODS TO SEE IF I’M WORTHY, AND I WILL KILL ALL THE REBELS”
Eventually the Rebels are GOING to lead the militia into an ambush and kill them all, but they just… can’t fire on other people they used to fight with, cause they were all other resistance cells. And the militia don’t want to fight either. So they actually team up, and are like “what do we do”
They get Shakaar elected president, and tell Kai Winn to pound sand. And it ends with Kira ending her vigil over Bareil after 3 months. I was VERY checked out of this halfway through, the idea was just so rough, but it actually turned it around and had a pretty alright ending.
Facets - DS9 8/10
The episode starts with Nog working hard to enter Starfleet, while Quark is like “why can’t you be a good kid and go after a job that makes PROFIT like Jake?” “Jake’s trying to be a writer, there’s no profit in that?” “Sure there is, if you go into porn”
Also we get this good out of context image.
Anyways the other plot is that Dax wants to do some fancy Trill ceremony where all her previous host’s personalities imprint onto someone and she can like, interact with them. She invites the 7 people she’s most comfy with on the station to join her, her closest friends. It’s Sisko, Kira, O’Brien, Odo, Bashir, Quark of all people, and for some reason Neela, who we HAD seen once before, and she’s here like, as Bashir’s girlfriend or something but she’s actually given personality beyond “I am a dabo girl who wants to climb in Bashir’s pants”. She’s like, an amateur sociologist and is VERY interested in other cultures.
First is Lela, the first host, moving into Kira. Kira is moving and talking like a little old lady, it’s so jarring, but honestly pretty interesting. And then it moves on to each of them, each having a conversation and Dax learning something about herself, why she does things. Why she often holds her hands behind her back. Why she bites her nails. etc etc. Quark has to talk about how it was when he was pregnant.
One of the more interesting ones is Joran, who was in an earlier episode. He’s the serial killer who was a quiet weird mother fucker. And I swear to god, they were like “Mr. Brooks, we need you to play a serial murderer-“ “I GOT THIS. I WATCHED SILENCE OF THE LAMBS LIKE 40 TIMES” “…Mr Brooks, that was not neccessa-“ “YES IT WAS.” This ends with him tricking his way out of his cell and trying to strangle Dax, who beats the shit out of him.
And then the most interesting one comes in. It’s Curzon, in Odo. And because of Odo’s physiology, it doesn’t work right, and it’s more like they’re BOTH there, joined. He trounces abotu like he owns the place. And Jadzia is… as always, kinda SCARED of him. He’s a selfish powerful force. And then he wants to stay in Odo’s body, and Odo agrees.
Oh yeah there was also a B plot with Nog taking a test to get into starfleet, which he fails. Nog smells foul play and finds out it was Quark who sabatoged it, and omg there’s an AMAZING scene where he is just YELLING, and WALKING into Quark, like “IF YOU EVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT MY SON’S FUTURE AGAIN I WILL BURN YOUR BAR TO THE GROUND”. Let’s fucking GO, ROM!
Anyways turns out Curzon is weird about Jadzia because he’s a horny lech and was attracted to her. It’s VERY weird but that’s also like, such a Sci-Fi thing, it’s fine. In the end he’s a part of her and joins back in, Nog passes his test, and everything is good. Fun episode.
The Adversary - DS9 8.5/10
Our episode starts with Sisko’s final commander’s log. It’s been a long three years, but he’s finally done being commander of DS9.
Because he’s been promoted to Captain. It’s a good bait and switch. Anyways, there’s an ambassador here who wants to go to some place, the Tzinchenthy or whatever, and work out a treaty, so they take the Defiant out. It’s all going swimmingly, though O’Brien is… jumpy, and there’s clear something is going on. Bashir is in the jeffries tubes for some reason. And then they get a message from the Tzinchenthy border…. Some Alliance ships being blown up by the Tzincenthy. Uh oh, it’s war time.
And then there’s sabotage on the ship. Bashir is the PRIME suspect, but they find a way to scan for Technobabble Particles, and while scanning, Bashir is clean. He’s like “wtf are you talking about I wasn’t in the tubes”, and then BOOM, THE AMBASSADOR IS THE CHANGELING.
And then it becomes The Thing. The entire ship is under the Changeling’s control with the sabotage, and it could be anyone, or anything.
Also there’s some stuff about Odo never having killed anyone. You know that’ll be important by the end of this.
It’s very tense, and if this was made today it’d be VERY horror. But even though it’s not QUITE like, SCARY, it’s tense and very good. And then they find out how to tell a changeling apart, after a tense stalemate.
Humans bleed. Changelings don’t. It’s LITERALLY just the Thing. But the Changeling counters this too, but being Bashir, AGAIN (though for some reason he only locked Bashir up and didn’t kill him). As things get worse and worse, they decide the only thing they can do before starting a war is to self destruct the ship.
This culminates in a fight where there are two Odos as O’Brien is trying to fix the ship. “CHOOSE, CHIEF. WHICH OF US IS ODO?” “Yeah no” ignores them and continues to fix ship. They begin to fight, and Odo kills the other Changeling, his first kill and the first time a Changeling as EVER killed another Changeling. And as he dies, he whispers something in Odo’s ear, which shakes him to his core.
Days later, he tells Sisko the exact words, as everyone is unwinding the conspiracy. “You’re too late. We are everywhere.”
Good, dark end to a season. Sets up how scary the Changelings really can be.