LizstarTrek - Discovery Season 1 episodes 1-10
Every Sunday my Twitch subs and I watch Star Trek in my Discord. Here are my reviews and thoughts on each of the episodes as I see it. If you’re curious about a nerd’s views on Star Trek episodes, please read on, I go quite in depth with some of these episodes! I’ve watched some Star Trek before but not all of it!
I know literally nothing about Discovery, except for The Burn, and that it leads into Strange New Worlds. So uh… I’ve been dreading this one. But hey, who knows! Maybe it’ll surprise me!!
The Vulcan Hello - ENT 3/10
We get some Klingon talking a bunch of nonsense. Hey, question, why the fuck do the Klingons look like that?
Okay, I looked it up. Apparently, the makeup designer guy they got for this, who had never done Trek before, wanted to make them more birdlike.
….I have more questions now. That’s supposed to be a BIRD?!
Anyways, we are introduced to two characters. Michael Burnham and her superior officer, Captain Georgiou. They’re stuck on a planet with no way of escaping, but manage to send basically a smoke signal to their ship with a giant Federation symbol. Well, glad they saw that through the thick cloud layer I guess.
Okay, immediate first thing I notice is that this show’s editing is… bad. Why are half the shots at a dutch angle? Is this a HORROR Trek show? And why is it cutting from shot to shot every second and a half? I’m trying to watch the fucking show, why the hell are we JUMPIN’ so much?!
Anyways there’s something that maybe did some bad thing to the ships sensors or a satellite or something, and the ship’s science officer, Saru, wants to check it out. They can’t send a shuttle for some reason so they send Burnham out in a space suit. I mean sure, you don’t have a shuttle whatever, but why don’t you just use a probe?
I’m already telling a couple poroblems here. One, this show has a serious addiction to Trying To Be Different from the rest of Trek. It takes place ten years before TOS, but it’s like nothing else. And like, I don’t mind that. Voyager was like “let’s do entirely new stuff not connected to anything else”. But the fucking show is DIRECTLY connected to the rest of them. But the problem is, there was weird contractural nonsense behind the scenes. They had no idea what this show as going to be while it was being made. Either based on the movies, or based on the prime show timeline. They were afraid to make a choice so they just… did a third thing and then awkwardly snapped it onto the prime timeline later anyway.
Anyways Burnham is attacked by a Klingon, and manages to kill them while almost dying herself. We learn from a flashback that Burnham was raised by Vulcans, specifically Serak. She’s very bad at being like a Vulcan, she’s VERY emotional. She’s rescued and revived, and her injury is kind of ignored from this point on. Anyways, a Klingon ship decloaks and menaces but doesn’t actually contact them. Apparently Klingons haven’t been seen for nearly 100 years. What. Also Burnham is being racist. “The Klingons are violent and evil” “You’re being racist? Dude it’s the 2240s, we’re past that.” and of course she’s going to end up being right isn’t she. Aaaaghhhhh. Also BTW her parents were killed by Klingons.
She talks to Sarek through a call. Hey, remember how DS9 made a big deal about hologram communication becoming a thing? It’s here, a hundred something years earlier. He explains how the Vulcans started diplomacy with the Klingons. They fought them. She’s like “oh good an excuse to shoot the Klingons” and is VERY behind that idea. So uh, this is our hero? Our good guy? She’s very flawed. Let’s hope she improve- and she attacks and knocks out the captain. She then mutinies and commands the ship to shoot the Klingons, while Saru is like “what the FUCK ARE YOU DOING”, but they hold her off just long enough for the captain to come back… and then ha ha turns out SHE WAS RIGHT, THE KLINGONS WERE SIGNALLING FOR OTHER KLINGON SHIPS TO COME IN. To be continued I guess.
Not a great start. Doesn’t introduce the characters very well, we barely know three of them, and the main character is intensely unlikable.
The Vulcan Hello - ENT 2.5/10
We get a flashback showing Burnham joining the ship seven years ago. She’s weird, kinda racist, and very unfriendly and unlikable. They sure don’t know how to handle Vulcans still, after all these years, huh?
Meanwhile, the Klingon dude on the other ship is trying to unify the Klingons to go to war with the Federation. At first they’re apprehensive, but he convinces them once the rest of the Federation arrive. BTW I hate the Klingons here? They are ONLY speaking Klingon, and I HATE how it sounds. It does NOT sound like Klingon, it sounds…. weird. This on top of the constant cuts and terrible editing. It’s exhausting to look at, AND listen to, this show!!
Okay this Klingon dude, T’Kuvma, believes the Federation is a blight on society and will destroy the Klingon Empire, because they will like… wear down individuality or some shit. It’s pretty much Eddington’s stupid arguments all over again.
The ship is almost destroyed. The bring is open to air, only held by a faltering force field. And then Burnham is contacted by her adopted dad, Sarek, through a fucking Force Diad. Anyways, shit is bad. The Klingons feign “okay let’s stop and cease fire :)” and then just blow up the Federation admiral’s ship anyway.
They’re basically dead in the water, but use the confusion of the battlefield to try a sneak attack instead. They see the Klingon leader tractoring in dead bodies so he can do final rites, and they booby trap them with bombs.
That is… SUCH a war crime? That is EXTREMELY A WAR CRIME.
They beam over to try and capture the Klingon leader. The captain is killed in the chaos, and then so is the Klingon leader. So uh, he’s gonna be a martyr. Burnham is sent home and charged and then we get this?
What the FUCK is this???? What is this Mass Effect Cerberus shit? This is Starfleet? Like, I know there’s the meme that Discovery is literally visibly dark, but JEEZE.
Anyways she’s charged and imprisoned for life. Starfleet has prisons now. Okay.
Context Is For Kings - ENT 3.5/10
Apparently the Admiral’s ship had a contingent of 8000 people. What the fuck?
It’s six months later, and Burnham is being transported to a prison. Everyone is like “THOSE PEOPLE DIED BECAUSE OF YOU.” Uh. She didn’t do anything? Like, the Klingons were going to do war regardless, she tried to mutiny to get them to fight first, and then failed. Her actions effected nothing at all.
The prison transport is almost broken but is found and saved by some ship called The Discovery. Everyone there treats them like bullshit. Hey, I love this nice happy future where everyone is better and treats people well and understand where they’re coming from, even if they’re prisoners. :)
Putting a lampshade on it doesn’t make it better, y’all.
Holy shit, the captain of the Discovery is like “Hey, you’re going to do labor here now. No questions, you can’t resist. Enjoy your life as a prisoner slave.” THE FUCKING HAPPY SOCIALIST FUTURE. She’s put in a room and given a roommate, someone who didn’t get the memo apparently. Her name is Sylvia Tilly, and she’s an awkward anxious mess. I’ve heard she’s one of the bright spots. Also some Weird Shit is happening as a “Black Alert” spreads through the ship.
We get LOTS of scenes of people being shitty assholes. No one is likable. Saru is the closest, he’s polite but logical. They force Burnham to do slave labor and don’t tell her anything. “I could do this easier if you told me what it is.” “Why would I tell a prisoner who is basically a temp the details of my research?” WHY WOULD YOU GIVE HER THIS JOB AT ALL?!?!
We meet the dude in charge of this science project. He’s kind of shitty and snooty. I don’t like him so far. He’s unhappy cause his research is being coopted for war, and he hates his captain, calls him a “warmonger”.
They’re sent to their sister ship, which blew up, and are trying to find what happened. There’s a LOT of meat. Well, I didn’t know this was a HORROR MOVIE. It is very weirdly gory and dark.
This is… not a Star Trek show.
It some weird horror monster thats eating and ripping into things. Burnham makes herself a distraction to save the others.
Back on the Discovery, after capturing the weird monster thing, the captain, Captain Lorca, is like “hey you should join us”. She goes “What? No.” he explains that they were using a space fungus that can produce magic propulsion. She decides to join them. Why? Okay, sure dude.
Okay, that was all a three parter opening movie basically to set up the ACTUAL show.
The Butcher’s Knife Cares Not for the Lamb’s Cry - ENT 3/10
What a title.
Burnham walks in onto the Bridge, now a member of the crew, into a simulation of a battle. They all die. Lorca then rants about how their new spore drive means they have to be prepared for war. Oh so we’re just talking about this now???
Apparently the Klingon ship has been sitting there for six months, unfixed. Also we find out that they ATE the captain?? That’s not what Klingons do. I refuse to accept that.
Anyways Lorca tells Burnham to study the monster from the last episode. Why he even has that, who knows. He wants Burnham to weaponize it. He also assigns his chief of safety, Landry, to study it with her. They turn the monster, which they nickname Ripper, into a fucking metaphor for Burnham. He’s biologically not designed to be a murderer. But he is anyway.
God I hate the writing in this show. Everyone is angry or grumpy 100% of the time. Except for Saru and Tilly, who are just anxious.
We also get a bunch of side scenes of the Klingon second in command of the dead Klingon guy. He’s raiding the old federation ship, floating dead in space.
A dilithium mine is under attack and Discovery is the only ship in the sector, take a drink. They try to use the sporedrive and it ends up almost killing them, cause it’s just not ready.
Hey look, the famous thing everyone makes fun of. No need to dwell on it further.
The lead engineer wants to pack up and go home, taking his spores with him. Lorca guilt trips him by playing a transmission from the mining colony over the loud speaker, for everyone on the ship to hear. You hear a girl crying to her dead mom telling her to wake up. This shit is almost LAUGHABLE with how over the top it is.
The head of security is like “okay we’re gonna study Ripper by shooting it and making it angry”. She does that and it of course kills her. What the FUCK was she thinking? The stupidest death I can think of in Star Trek. Burnham thinks it’s actually not an aggressive predator, it’s just defending itself. After a bit more testing, she determines that Ripper, a Tardigrade, is actually a symbiotic creature with the spores, and they manage to use it to jump and save the colony. By basically tortuing it. Yaaaay.
The episode ends with Burnham sad she betrayed Ripper, and then getting her captain’s last will and testament. It’s a hologram message where she’s like “Hi captain Burnham, I sure am glad you didn’t betray and get me killed :D Here have this~” and gives her an old telescope from her ready room… Did they abandon ship but take that telescope with them? What the fuck?
The vibes of this show are kinda rancid.
The Butcher’s Knife Cares Not for the Lamb’s Cry - ENT 3.5/10
Burnham is having nightmares about torturing Ripper. Meanwhile, Starfleet’s Admiral Council is like “We need to find more Tardigrades so we can make more spore drives”. They want to turn Starfleet into DUNE?
We are clearly using a self aware creature as a computer and navigator and tortuing it to do so. And only ONE person on the ship sees this as something Bad? Everyone is like “There’s no evidence things are bad”. The doctor LITERALLY SAID it was getting weaker??? Also you can just look at it.
Lorca is kidnapped by some Klingons and thrown on a prison ship. His roomie is one Harcourt Fenton Mudd. Yes, THAT Harry Mudd. He’s a common pest in TOS, and here he is. He is very attractive. My community made fun of me for thinking that. The Klingons regularly torture and beat people in the jail, just for fun. We also meat another prisoner, Ash Tyler. I never know who in this show will be important or who will just be killed. Mudd is also like “Starfleet is the reason this war happened. Life is shitty for us little folk.” Gee I sure am glad they keep hammering in how actually terrible the Star Trek world is.
Saru finds out that Burnham is still trying to get them to stop tortuing this poor animal and is so angry he confines her to quarters. What the FUCK is this show? Ripper shuts down after MORE torture and Saru is like “wake it up again. Why are we even talking about this?” WHY ARE YOU IN STARFLEET? WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE LIKE THIS?! He demands Stamets revive Ripper and get the ship flyable, which Stamets agrees to.
Lorca and Ash manage to escape, leaving and locking Mudd in the prison ship. Discovery rescues him and then flees… turns out Stamets basically turned himself into Ripper and used the torture machine on himself, nearly killing himself.
There’s a scene where Burnham tells Saru “you did well in the captain’s chair”. He did not. He tortured a fucking animal and nearly killed his engineer, who is the ONLY GUY WHO CAN GET THIS DRIVE WORKING. If he dies, they are all fucked.
They release Ripper into space and it flies away.
Oh hey, Stamets and the doctor are gay together. Which one of them do you think is gonna be killed so we can bury our gays? Well, Stamets is acting… strange after his Episode, so…
I hated this, but at LEAST it round aboutly said “yes, tortuing this sentient creature is bad”. Though no one got comeuppance for it, and they barely acknowledge it.
…I think I was right to fear Discovery.