LizstarTrek - Discovery Season 4 episodes 1 - 4

Every Sunday my Twitch subs and I watch Star Trek in my Discord. Here are my reviews and thoughts on each of the episodes as I see it. If you’re curious about a nerd’s views on Star Trek episodes, please read on, I go quite in depth with some of these episodes! I’ve watched some Star Trek before but not all of it!

I know literally nothing about Discovery, except for The Burn, and that it leads into Strange New Worlds. So uh… I’ve been dreading this one. But hey, who knows! Maybe it’ll surprise me!!

It has not so far. Y’all ready to see Michael save the universe again???

Kobayashi Maru - DIS 1.5/10

The title serves two purposes. One: Clap, nerds. Two: We already know we’re gonna be put in an unwinnable scenario, so it’s also a spoiler!

Captain Burnham and her boyfriend are now leading first contact re-communication with old Federation worlds. Why Burnham brought her boyfriend on away missions like this I do not know. Why she’s doing it herself, I also do not know. Why they are dressed in evil black leather instead of Federation outfits, I ESPECIALLY do not know. Seriously, what in the fuck? Anyways they were incompetent, of course. They piss off the people they’re there to offer help and services to and then have to run after the natives open fire. The two of them are now on the service, stranded, and trying to escape. We then have the people back on the ship trying to come up with some way to extract them and keep them safe. This is the most JJ Trek scene in this entire series, despite it being born of JJ Trek.

The people shooting at them only stop because their giant ship uncloaks in front of them. Then they give the natives some dilithium and leave. Uh, mission… accomplished??? This is already not looking good.

We get a scene with Saru on Kaminar saying it’s the start of a new era. Wow, I actually expected them to fully write him out of the show, I’m stunned he’s still here.

We’re just jumping around to a dozen scenes, aren’t we? Book is leaving for a while, and I guess Michael is now speaking to a bunch of ensigns. She is not happy to introduce the next Federation president, who appears to be part Cardassian. Michael appears to hate her, and I’m certain its NOT because she’s part Cardassian, you fucking racist, WE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THE CARDASSIANS THAT WELL WHEN YOU WERE BORN. She claims it’s cause she hates politics and she thinks she’s just promoting herself or something, I dunno. It’s kinda boring. Anyways she’s joining them for a new mission that immediately goes wrong. They go to visit a space station and it’s careening around like it got punched out of orbit

For some reason when they go to black alert and jump it now makes as squeaky little noise. It feels like something a Youtube Poop would do. Someone in my chat described it as the noise a teletubby in a blender would make.

Book goes to his nephew’s bar mitzvah and this kid is like “I sure do love being alive!” Then he runs forward and it turns to slow motion. This kid is fucking dead.

Things start exploding cause some ice hits the ship or something and Michael immediately volunteers herself to go out and do some dangerous stunt to save the day. The president is like “what the fuck are you doing” while everyone on the bridge awkwardly looks at each other like the kids at the dinner table while the parents are fighting and getting divorced in front of them.

Why are we building these worker bees out of glass? Shit immediately breaks and she has to dip out of the worker bee. Why would you build it like that? The president actually uses her political knowhow and communication skills to talk down someone who’s about to shoot Tilly, which I guess gives her a reason to be here. All the while fires keep popping up behind them. Can we stop the hibachi grills back there please??

Wow, Kweijan fucking explodes and only Booker survives because he had bad vibes and was flying in his ship above the planet scanning it as it explodes. Meanwhile everyone they went to rescue and extract die except for the guys we know. We get them all sadly looking at the corpses while Michael talks over the intercom like “Yo is everything okay”

The president explains why she’s actually here. There’s a new ship they’re working on with a new spore drive and she was actually evaluating the captaincy shortlist. Michael is no longer on it cause she’s “Not ready” because she can’t accept loss. Michael then proceeds to be a fucking pissbaby and argue about it. “DEFINE READY.” “DEBATE ME.”

She is…. a TERRIBLE captain, good lord. Also they keep comparing this to the Kobayashi Maru. This is NOT A Kobayashi Maru scenario. They lost 3 people, and 7 others were wounded. That’s super good!! The ship didn’t fucking die. Anyways Book shows back up and they find out Kweijan got Alderan’d.

I hated basically everything about this episode.

Anomaly - DIS 2/10

Book is not having a good time. Come on dog, your planet blew up, it’s not a big- oh wait yeah no that’s a realistic reaction. He’s just sat quietly staring at it for two days.

Saru shows up. He was offered captaincy of the new ship mentioned last episode but he turned it down…. to instead by Michael’s XO. I…. what the fuck??? Like I still want Saru on the show, I like him, but why are we doing this to him, HE SHOULD BE THE CAPTAIN. He basically got demoted for no reason. Also poor Tilly is even MORE demoted.

They have a security briefing where they determine it was a spacial anomaly possibly cause of two black holes colliding and they need to go look at it. Book walks in on this top priority meeting at Starfleet HQ. “Um, sir, you can’t go in there, that’s classified-“ “My planet blew up.” “Oh, well my apologies, go right ahead.”

We cannot let this series happen without a galactic threat.

We get a scene where Book wants to go risk his life flying into the black holes to study why they killed his family. Michael refuses to let him go and he throws a hissy fit and is like “YOU AREN’T THE BOSS OF ME DAD, I’M NOT EVEN STARFLEET, I’LL DO WHAT I WANT”

And then we get a scene with Gray seeing his new body he’s going to be put into. This series has a tone problem.

Book goes out on this mission but they get Stamets to hologram himself there so he can scan for the anomaly. Book is a shitty asshole about all of this. He’s grumpy and mean to Stamets who is awkward but trying his best. Book look I know you’re unhappy, understandably, but it’s not Stamets fault???

Some anomalies cause the ship to break and they need to release the tether holding Books ship. He has no sensors and is flying blind but they need that data, or whatever. Man I have Big Problem fatigue with this series. Stamets and Book have a talk. Apparently they’ve not been talking, because Stamets has been obviously avoiding him, cause Book reminds Stamets of how he couldn’t save his family at the end of season 3 and he doesn’t wanna be reminded of that. Understandable. But he’s at least TRYING now, So

Book: “No one is here for me. I am alone on this ship”

No, your cat is still on that ship for some fucking reason. Why you didn’t put her on the Discovery I will never know.

Michael has a heart to heart with Book about how their decks aren’t his fault. They do this by casting Cone of Silence around the captain’s chair, bringing up a fucking force field so she can talk to him without anyone overhearing. What the fuck?

Anyways they Use The Force and make it out with the data, and all is good and happy again. Until we study the anomaly and find out that it changes direction seemingly randomly and they cannot depict where it’s coming from or where it’s going, and can hit at any time. Then they zoom out with a scary choral song playing. I mean… this is basically on the same level as the Chrystalline Entity, I dunno if we really need that.

Choose to Live - DIS 2/10

We open with Starfleet delivering some dilithium to some planet. Suddenly they’re under attack by some people in cloaks who attack with swords and kill the captain. She also says “Choose to live” so we know what she is. Gotta have MORE Qowat Milat.

They need to work with Nivar and the Qowat Milat to bring this murderer to justice, because she’s rogue. And also because they need Nivar to rejoin the Federation and so they need to do this without any problems. And they choose BURNHAM TO BE THE FEDERATION’S LIAZON IN THIS SITUATION. OF COURSE.

There’s been some mild hints at a plot line with Tilly suffering from PTSD and not being able to feel joy like she used to. She’s trying to get help for it, but the way the actress is, still so bubbly, it makes it even MORE sad, cause it’s clear she’s faking it.

Meanwhile, we still have the plot point that Gray is going to be put in a new body. It might go poorly but if it succeeds, he’ll be in a new robot body. They also cite Picard in this btw.

They go to find this Qiwot Milot, and find out that she was the one who saved Burnham’s mom, so she has… ulterior motives. As SOON as they show up, this girl’s ninjas start a bit fight scene. It is kinda neat how we just have jedi in Star Trek now. That’s what they were trying to do with the Qiwot Milot, right? That’s it? Anyways they kill one of the other Qiwot Milot they have, and then go “do not follow or I will kill the rest of you”. Michael then Marvel Quips about it because we live in a Hell.

They find out that the moon she’s been hiding on IS NO MOON and it’s actually a ship she’s been powering up with the Dilithium. It has a nearly dead species in cryogenics. Their biomatter apparently is made of Latinum, and graverobbers have been predating on them for ages. This nun took up their cause and is getting dilithium so that she can wake it up and deliver them to their new home. She didn’t want anyone finding out they existed so she did it all secretly. Um…. literally everything would have been solved immediately if you actually went to the Federation. You were being unneccesarily secretive and violent for no reason. Congratulations. Way too many people died because of this. Michael fixes this problem by talking to her and she agrees to stop, the end. Another win for Michael. Fuck this. Those deaths could have been an email.

The president of Nivar mind melds with Book to get information for the scientists. While she’s in there I guess she cures his PTSD???

Anyways they arrest the murderer then extradite her to Nivar. Burnham is like “WHA? BUT SHE SHOULD FACE JUSTICE!” Yeah. They’re not letting her go. That’s what extradition is. Why are you being a fucking baby about this. You’re a captain, you know how this shit works. “His family deserves justice!!!” They’re getting it! You just want to kill someone?

They also succeed in transferring Gray to a new body, he’s in a robo-body now, yay!

All of these are bad so far, god damn. The Stamets and Book stuff was okay?

All Is Possible - DIS 3/10

Tilly and Adira need to go to Starfleet Acadamy to help teach some cadets. Tilly is still looking for something new, she feels like this whole “be in charge of saving the galaxy every season” thing isn’t for her, and maybe it’ll be teaching at Starfleet. The cadets she’s teaching are all the best and brightest from their people but are unfriendly and bad with others. They’re all gifted kids, basically. While going on a routine trip they get hit by a random thing and then fall to the planet. Of course. Also the 32nd century shuttles look like the soap mouse from those old macs.

Nivar is still a Star Wars planet. Anyways there’s some diplomatic problems with the talks about Nivar rejoining the Federation, but don’t worry!!! Michael stands up to give a speech and fix the problem again! Why is this still a thing. Though it actually doesn’t work, finally.

The cadets are ALREADY freaking out about this. “WE ONLY HAVE THREE DAYS OF RATIONS!” your power is working. Where is your replicators?? Also I feel we should have emergency replicators by this point. Anyways this entire problem is moot anyways cause there are alien monsters who see power and will try and eat them if they use anything with power.

They try and get the Nivar talks back on the table. Saru has vulcan mind sex with the president while Michael is like “you need a third party to make a suggestion so y’all can use that. I’ll be that third party.” YOU’RE STILL FEDERATION, MICHAEL.

They have an emergency kit that can ONLY MAKE ROPES. How were they more prepared for shuttle crashes a thousand years ago?! Anyways they save Adira from some fucking Quicksand Ice. This ALMOST makes the cadets work together but one of them is a huge racist. Actually two of them are, the last one is an Orion but it’s okay, they find out he’s One Of The Good Ones.

I want to fucking vomit.

Anyways Michael solves the problem because she speaks as both Federation AND a citizen of Nivar. “It is an elegant solution” No, it is stupid. You are stupid. This is stupid! STOP BEING STUPID!

Tilly also solved a problem by herself, which is nice. She saves the day and gets an offer from Cronenberg to teach at the Acadamy if she ever wants to. She immediately takes this offer and leaves the show. :) Wow we’re just basically writing out ALL the good characters, huh? Okay.