LizstarTrek - Starfleet Acadamy Season 1 episodes 1 - 4

Every Sunday my Twitch subs and I watch Star Trek in my Discord. Here are my reviews and thoughts on each of the episodes as I see it. If you’re curious about a nerd’s views on Star Trek episodes, please read on, I go quite in depth with some of these episodes! I’ve watched some Star Trek before but not all of it!

Finally done with Discovery, thank god. It’s time for the newest show of the whole lot, as of this writing, we’re almost FINALLY caught up. Despite this being directly after Discovery and tying into it in many ways, I’ve heard good things about it. So let’s be optimistic.

Though we did some research into pre-production and Kurtzman kept saying this was “the hip and cool Trek for the youths” and holy shit, dude, could you be any more Old Man?

Kids These Days - DIS 7.5/10

We’re introduced to a small kid, Caleb Mir, who’s in a waiting cell with his Mom, who’s saying a whole lot of things that are saying “I am not going to be here for long”. She also gives him a weird creepy toy.

Apparently the two of them were working with a pirate, named Paul Giamatti. Wait shit, I’m sorry, his name is Paul Giamatti. Fuck, I mean- Anyways, Paul Giamatti really REALLY wanted to play a Klingon villain, and you can tell, he’s having the time of his life. He’s sent to prison, and Caleb’s mom is sent too for being an accomplice. Caleb then plays them for fools with the “I’m a little innocent kid~” shtick and breaks out of jail. This guy is gonna be our prococious scamp for the series who will have to learn the true meaning of friendship.

We then jump 15 years later. He’s a prisoner again. Damn, dude, can’t catch a break huh? He breaks free then is captured again. Maybe quit while you’re ahead.

We meet this lady, Nahla Ake, a half Human half Lanthanite. She was the captain who split up Caleb and his mom and lost him 15 years ago. She resigned over it cause she’s like “what I was told to do what fucked up and I refuse to have anything to do with it.” Admiral Sexypants from Discovery is like “hey we know where he is, maybe come out of retirement”. So she does, she goes to pick Caleb up and gets him to sign a deal saying “do community service with me at Starfleet Acadamy, and I help you find your mom, who btw broke out of jail a year ago and hasn’t even tried looking for you? That’s fucked up”

PRetty good character motivations so far. Discovery also started with a criminal who has to be forced into servitude to help the Federation, but uh, Caleb is a kid? He’s not an XO who makes dumb angry decisions for no reason. He’s a KID who makes dumb decisons for no reason! I can get behind that way better.

We get lots of shotgunning jokes and scenes introducing the rest of the cast. Lura Thok, a Jem Hadar/Klingon hybrid who’s a hardcore “YES SIR, STAND UP SOLDIER” type. “LET ME SEE YOUR WAR FACE!” Jay-Den, a Klingon cadet who’s signed up for medical stuff because he wants to “live a valiant life”. He also apologizes, which is a weird thing for a Klingon. I think I like his vibe already. Then of course, ya boi, the Doctor. I’m just happy to see him tbh. Also this Starfleet acadamy class takes place in a space ship that looks like the fucking Halo laser sword, and Ake sits in her chair in the most bisexual way I have ever seen.

Also, that’s three hybrid characters so far I think?? Ake, Thok, and and Paul Giamatti are all hybrid peoples. That’s rad tbh. More of that, please. This shit is a melting pot, let that pot MELT. No wonder this series pissed off fascists.

We get a scene of some rich kid bullying the Klingon for some fucking reason while everyone is like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT” but only Caleb actually stands up for him and gets him his binoculars back. Jay-Den likes to go bird watching. I legit love this guy already??? He’s basically a Klingon I would write.

We also meet two other kids. Genesis, a kind of haughty but friendly girl, and SAM, a hologram. Or, as she prefers, “photonic”. Ohhh, Genesis is actually kind of a FREAK. “I want to learn how to kill a man with a toothbrush”. Caleb legit reacts by going “What the FUCK?” They’re also ALREADY teasing a romance between these two. That was fast.

The ship flies into a place that immediately tries to blow it up. Why the fuck are we doing that??? This ship has kids on it. What is it, the Enterprise? A big spiky obviously evil ship is blowing them the fuck up. The cadets all gotta step up once Lura gets stabbed by some debris. Caleb knows a way to stop this, and starts to work with it. We also learn who the villain here is. It’s Nus Braka, AKA Paul Giamatti! He’s fun. Apparently Giamatti’s favorite Trek is DS9 and you can tell cause he wants to be Gul Dukat. But like, a little less of a “convinces himself he’s the good guy” and leaning a bit more into the “Gul Dukat was a weird creepy pervert”. We also learn the reason he knows they’re here is cause Caleb is trying to send messages to his mom. Everyone blames him but like, I dunno dog, he was just trying to send messages to his mom.

All of the cadets get time to shine here. Even the rich pretty boy, Darem, shines. He’s “Khaonian”, which allows him to um… Mystique himself and live in space. He’s blue now, that’s his attack. Oh they’re also pushing stuff with him and Genesis. Time for a loooove trongle! Anyways Darem then almost freezes to death. I mean, that’s not how heat works in space, he wouldn’t radiate all that that fast, but that’s okay. Genesis ends up saving him using a tractor beam.

There’s actually some really good jokes here. A lot of them from Thok. “IF I AM GOING TO DIE TODAY, I NEED LESS CHEERFULNESS”. And when she gives a friendly shoulder punch to Jay-Den, he just goes flyyyiiiing. Also I like Caleb’s sass.

Caleb manages to do his thing and they blow up Giamatti’s ship. He escapes in an escape pod, laughing maniacally as he does.

We then get a weird slowmo flyby of each of the characters as a weird slow version of “If You’re Going To San Fransisco” plays. I’ve never been a huge fan of this kinda thing.

Captain Ake gives Caleb the chance to just… dip. He stays with them for 90 days and 100 hours of labor to pay off his jail time, and she helps him find his mom. OR he just leaves. He of course decides to stay, because she show has to happen.

I actually liked that. Honestly pretty up there for a first episode for a Trek series.

Beta Test - DIS 7.5/10

Everyone makes it to Starfleet Acadamy, the first class on campus in like 100 years cause y’know, Burn shenanigans. Also we get the intro for the first time. It looks like a cutscene from Civilization 4 that should have “Baba Yetu” playing over it.

Caleb and the pretty boy are roommates. Neither are happy about this.

EXOCOMP!!! There’s also a Brikar, Rak-Tahk’s species, that’s sick as hell.

This was the only thing I knew about this character. That she goes barefoot. Also that she sits in a bisexual manner. Anyways she’s talking with Admiral Sexpot and some other Federation bigwig who is immediatley unlikable. They’re trying to get Betazoid to rejoin the Federation. JETT RENO IS HERE!! I STILL LOVE HER. This is actually the most dialogue they ever gave her like… ever. She always showed up like every three episodes in Discovery to say two lines that were the best lines of the episode.

Apparently BDG was in this episode. He voiced a DOT that says “hello”. Jeremy Coulhain was the other one. That’s fucking wild. Also the school chime is the Trek theme, which means the Trek theme exists in the world of Trek. Who wrote the in universe Trek theme?

Caleb makes an ass out of himself in front of the princess of Betazed, basically. She teases the hell out of him in a “I am clearly into you but I’mma play with your emotions cause I know what they are~” kinda way. It’s a little cute, ngl. She tells the people in charge she wants him to be her guide around the campus. Everyone is like “HIM??????”

They connect in a nice way. He’s an awkward guy who can’t trust anyone due to his shitty-ass life. They go to Cetacean Ops for a date. Are they allowed to do that??? That’s Yuri appropriation. Also this is the first time we see Cetacean Ops in live action!!! Things kinda go south when the other Betazeds can’t contact her in Cetacean Ops, and they get in trouble. Well, Caleb gets in trouble. HE WAS DOING WHAT SHE WANTED?? SHE ASKED FOR IT? Also she gives him government secrets, showing her that the planet his mother is apparently on is behind the Betazed Psychic Wall.

Oh also I may have to mention, the Betazed leader speaks in sign language. I can’t believe Star Trek is woke now. Hey anyways I was thinking about one of my favorite TNG season 2 episodes recently, Loud As a Whisper, which had a mute actor as one of the main characters?

Anyways, the princess finds out Caleb is kinda using her to find his mom and won’t open up to her about why, and reacts poorly. The Betazed leader walks out of the negatiations partly because of this. And then we get a THIRD SCENE of Ake trying to convince Caleb not to leave. Hopefully this isn’t a thing that happens every episode.

Caleb opens up to the princess, being honest to someone else for once maybe since he was like, 4. He explains WHY he used her, and tries to convince her to help this move along. She does, and Betazed rejoins.

The princess joins… the War College. lol. But hey, her brother is now Caleb’s new roommate! He’s very awkward.

I do like all these episode so far, I think my #1 problem is they’re too long. Every episode is like an hour and 15 minutes.

Vitus Reflux - DIS 7.5/10

We get some stuff about the War College VS Starfleet. The War College cadets are…. weird assholes? And they start pranking the Starfleet Cadets for no reason. They hack the teleporters to drag them out of the locker room and into random spots on campus. And then brag about it over intercoms going “We do this cause we can. And cause it’s fun”. Um, expel them??

Also, Darem is bisexual and polyamarous. Holy shit. Are we going to get a polyam love triangle????

Thok tries to convince Ake to just… use authority to stop this. But she’s like “this is kid shit, and I’m for kid shit”. lol she’s a weirdo. She basically helps them get even, with some botony thing.

Meanwhile, Genesis signs Caleb up for a sports thing. He has NO interest, but she’s an admiral’s daughter and HAS to be leader, and has to win. To an unhealthy degree. And he’s the most obviously competent one there, except for maybe Jay-Den.

The sport is just laser tag! If Laser Tag was the Battle at Normandy. It’s so fucking funny the idea that they replaced Parrises Squares with a full phaser battle charge because it’s safer than Parrises Squares ever was. That’s so funny.

All of the characters are having moments where they talk and sass each other and oh my GOD imagine characters like, just having character moments and interracting in normal regular moments. Then you can have things stand out better when shit hits the fan! Instead of just like… having them only ever talk to each other when serious shit is going down.

Caleb talks to the Betazed Princess, who’s name is actually Tarima, I guess I need to name her since she’s around more often. She seems pretty distant about all of this. Who knows where this is going tbh

Darem wins captaincy of the sports team because he got Genesis mad my mocking her. Rude. At least he gets his comeuppance by having the war college people prank him again, but honestly it’s mostly aimed at them mocking poor Sam. Darem decides they’re going to do a sports match after hours to get back at them. They are very much outmatched and not gonna win. Genesis steps out of this because A) “A true captain doesn’t send their team into a slaughter” and B) “They don’t do underhanded shit like you did to win”. She’s 100% right. But then she shows up anyway cause I mean this guy is totally gonna whiz it down his leg.

Darem does in fact continually suck ass and his stretegies keep fucking them over. Genesis actually comes up with ideas and strategies and uses her training to win. Darem ends up quitting over this, but the game is ended anyways when the teachers find out about it and break it up. Everyone gets in massive trouble. Except Darem I guess. They react to this by uh…. trying to prank the war college even harder.

HOLY SHIT JETT RENO AND THOK ARE DATING?! Also Reno is 100% the top.

Darem says his mommy and daddy issues are the reasons he’s an asshole. They forgive him, but hope that he can be better.

The rest of the episode is a heist. Well, until this happens

Tarima aplogizes for being weird, buuuuut they’re still not super on the same terms. But she DOES kiss him! Oh, kids.

Anyways the prank goes without a hitch. And what ws the prank? Exactly the shit Ake had planned up and th ought of, cause she’s a pranking genius, and she kept feeding it to them through Code. That’s fun.

I liked this one too, but it was leaning a bit into the fratboy college stuff in a way that didn’t resonate with me, but it’s not BAD, just not super my thing. I do like when it all comes back to “Starfleet is good and all about empathy and working together for a better tomorrow” and that’s the main takeaway though.

Vox In Excelso - DIS 6.5/10

The Doctor is teaching debate. Jay-Den is NOT happy about this, he does not like public speaking. They do like, a tournament of debate. Caleb wins every single debate, hardcore. He’s actually very good at debate. When it gets to Jay-Den, he just… has a panic attack. Poor Jay-Den.

I REALLY like Caleb and Jay-Den’s friendship.

We also learn some Klingon lore. There were basically no Klingons in Discovery post time skip, so we learn a few things. The Burn caused Qo’noS to become uninhabitable and now Klingons are nearing extinction. That’s… that’s fucking nuts. What the fuck? They’re showing this off through a flashback montage. What the fuck is it with Modern Star Trek and blowing up the capital planets of the other major forces? This is the first major worldbuilding mistep of all of this. And y’all KNOW how I love my Klingons, so…

Anyways we learn that Jay-Den’s family might have died. And we get some flashbacks to him on a refugee planet. He was close with his brother, who supported him in what he wanted to do, but his dad didn’t understand and wanted him to be a warrior like the rest of them. But his brother is cool as hell. “Your mind is hungry, brother. We must feed it!” He wants to get his bro some Federation tech.

We’ve got two major plots. One, the debate team is basically debating the rights of the Klingons to… exist? And that they should be helped to survive? Not sure what’s going on there. Notably, Jay-Den is anti-Federation help. And Ake is going to try and talk to some Klingon leaders to offer them aid and help.

More flashbacks. Jay-Den’s brother is killed trying to trade for Federation technology. Jay-Den is not allowed to try and save him because of his parents’ bigotry.

Ake meets up with an old… “friend”. They were ABSOLUTELY fucking. They get smmmaaaashed. Okay yes, later on in a later scene, they were 100% fucking and it almost went somewhere but they were both too married to their jobs and cultures. A shame. They’re cute together.

Of ALL the people to help psych up and therapy Jay-Den, it’s Darem. Also it’s very, VERY gay.

It’s now the day of the debate. Ake is hung over. It doesn’t go well. Caleb VS Jay-Den ends with them yelling at each other Thok is like “Well I’ve never been an advisor for another Klingon and I don’t wanna fuck it up but I’ll do my best.” She rights his views on his family and is like “They didn’t abandon you, they let you go so you can be here in the only way they could”. It’s pretty nice.

Jay-Den goes back up to the debate stage so he can give a big debate about why the Federation shouldn’t just give the Klingons what they need, and force them to stop being Klingons. It’s a good scene, though I dunno why they have so many bright lights in my face. He ends up giving a new idea. “We should solve a Klingon problem with a Klingon solution.”

What’s that solution? Go to war with the Klingons. It’s all one big excuse to let the Klingons win the planet as spoils of war. Also frankly it’s foreplay for Ake and her klingon boytoy.

The episode is good. I do not like the stupid lore stuff with the Klingons but the writing and how they handled it in this episode were good. I just… man I wish we didn’t have to deal with the Burn still, and all the nonsense that came with it.

We cut it to four episodes tonight cause holy SHIT why are these episodes an hour and 20 minutes?????