ROI

Another game that feels less retro and more modern based on its genre and concept, Rock On! Island is a tower defense game from 1987. This genre basically wasn’t a thing until the early 2000s with flash games. But hey, whatever works, I’m here to review the games, not anochronistic issues.

Rock On! Island follows you as Ug, the young chief of a group of cavepeople, who are being attacked by dinosaurs, who are trying to wipe you out for good. Humans and dinosaurs got along for years, but now the Four Emperors have taken over and are trying to take the island for themselves! You must lead your people through wit and cunning to keep your caves safe.

ROI

It is, as I said, a tower defense. You have waves, and inbetween the waves you can set up cavemen to protect the lane leading to your cave. These cavemen can be upgrades to different forms: fire, spear, and rock. Then again, to fire 2, tar, spear 2, bow, rock 2, and wheel. Most of these can honestly be ignored, bow is what you need. Bow is EXTREMELY OP, and can carry you. But I’ll get to balance issues later. You can also buy chickens, which help increase the meat you get each turn, and can be cooked with fires to give a 3x price increase. Those fires can ALSO upgrade cavemen near them, so it’s about balancing and placing defenses, and economy. You can ALSO upgrade Ug, who has a stone axe, and you can increase the speed and power. On some stages, a fully upgraded Ug can straight up carry the entire stage by herself. She doesn’t even need cavemen, she’s EXTREMELY strong. Don’t get hit though, you’ll respawn after a few seconds and lose some health. Lose all the health, and that’s it, game over.

ROI

Okay, issues. This game has balance issues. The bow is OP, as I said, but all of the stages go the following way: The first 2/5ths of the stage are slow, shakey, and awkward, and you will lose constantly, or just BARELY not lose, if you’re trying to do it without taking any damage, which you are, cause that’s the good ending for the cherry. After that, after you have a bit of a starting defense, the game is piss easy and you barely have to pay attention. Repeat that for ten levels.

ROI

It’s FINE, but it’s really missing something to take it over the top. Also the lack of music in the planning stage is unfortunate.

I have nothing more to add, except for this little bit you can find in one of the side areas. Some animals have broken off to form a peaceful contingency, and this is what one of them says:

ROI ROI ROI ROI

Huh, I wonder what that’s about :)

7/10