LizstarTrek - TNG Season 3
Finding out stride
Every Sunday my Twitch subs and I watch Star Trek in my Discord. Here are my reviews and thoughts on each of the episodes as I see it. If you’re curious about a nerd’s views on Star Trek episodes, please read on, I go quite in depth with some of this episodes! I’ve watched some Star Trek before but not all of it!
Time to start… SEASON 3!!
Evolution - TNG 6.5/10
Season 3 starts with… an okay one. After an entire season with barely any Wesley, we get a Wesley episode. Oh boy! It makes sense though, because….
Dr. Crusher is back! There’s no real explanation, she’s just here now. And her actor is wearing a coat to conceal the fact she was pregnant! Which makes her stand out compared to everyone else y’know, looking normal.
So, they have Ol’ Faithful here, a neutron star sucking up mass from a red star and it exploding out every 200 or so years. They’re there to study it, but the Enterprise computer seems to be having a bunch of glitches, which is making everyone anxious about being next to an exploding star, except for the scientist they have here.
On top of it, the stuck up scientist connects to Wesley, a hard working kid, while his mom is like “he’s 17, and he’s not sneaking out or fucking bitches, he just works on his school work. Isn’t that WEIRD THAT’S WEIRD?!”
Oops, turns out Wesley fucked up! He had some pet sea monkeys that got out and are eating the ship apart. So he confides in Guinan, who’s the best damn thing. “I thought no one was here” “I’m not good at being confined to quarters, ask my ex husbands”. I WANT THAT LORE. GIVE ME MORE GUINAN LORE!
It’s a bit anxiety inducing cause like… Wes, just tell people. But no, he’s perfect, so he can’t tell people he fucked up. I get what it’s going for. I get it. It makes sense, it works. But even though I think Wes isn’t THAT bad, he started as Gene Roddenberry’s self insert and mary stu, and I just kinda can’t get too invested in him. If this was Data, I’d be SUPER into it. But I can’t care that much about Wes and his mom’s drama, even if there’s technically nothing wrong with it.
Anyways Wes made some Nanites that might possibly be becoming intelligent. I dunno how they reach that conclusion cause they just act like a virus, eating and spreading. It feels like a stretch but yeah thats what happened. Asshole scientist does a murder on the new life to try and get his experiment back on track, and the nanites retaliate.
This entire episode feels too long and slow paced tbh. It does get way better once we to the actual nanites and communicate with em and Brent Spiner can act out of it gourd once again
Hey, another Dirty Pair reference!!!
“This model originally appeared as a containment module in TNG: “The Child”. It would later be reworked, as a Rick Sternbach design, into “The Egg” appearing in TNG: “Evolution”. The new design was inspired by the anime series The Dirty Pair.”
The Ensigns of Command - TNG 10/10
Data plays violin, and O’Brien plays cello! Super cool! :D
Anyways, this introduces the Sheliak, a corporate entity who haven’t spoken to Humanity in a hundred years to tell them “hey you got Humans on a planet we own please get them the fuck off or we will probably kill them when we colonize it soon”. Good start.
They’re on a planet with intense radiation that no one should be able to live on, but they’ve been living cause humans are like rats. This radiation stops teleporters or phasers from working, but they need to evacuate the planet. Oops their leader is a shithead who’s like “WE’VE BEEN HERE FOR YEARS ITS OWN PLANET FUCK EM.” even though the Sheliak will ABSOLUTELY destroy them.
The sheliak, cool blob people, are like “nope. Move em or they’re dead. It’s based on the law.” A shame they never came back, they’re cool.
Anyways it’s Data, who is the only person who can get there, trying to talk to the leader, who’s like “SEE THIS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS, MACHINE?” “Uh… water?” “WRONG. IT IS BLOOD AND SWEAT. MY GRANDFATHER DIED BUILDING THIS LAND. AND NOW I UH, MUST ALSO DIE. CAUSE TRADITION.” They’re being fucking idiots, and it just makes poor Data really sad cause uh they’re all going to die and he wants to try.
Anyways he meets ONE person willing to talk to him and turns out she has a hard on for androids and wants to make out with Data. It’s very sudden. And like, I get it, I want to kiss Data too, but… why. At least show interest first.
There are three stories going on here. On the one hand, Data is trying to convince some colonist to join him and not die. Plot B, Picard is trying to communicate with the aliens to buy them more time. And plot C, Geordi and O’brien are trying to teleport things through the radiation without making them melt and scream like that one scene from the movies. All three of them are doing a very bad job at it.
It’s very engaging when they start to turn things around, starting with Data. There’s a point when the colony leader is being an asshole, and I said out loud “They need to tell Geordi to not try and fix the telelporter issue but fix the phaser issue and then SHOOT THEM so that they realize war is not a game”. HEY. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT DATA DOES. Smart guy! He builds a phaser out of his arm.
There’s also an amazing scene where they talk about trying to communicate with other races. The first AMAZING Troi scenes. Where Troi is like “It’s honestly STUNNING we can talk to each other at all?” and as a big fan of linguistics, HUGE fan of that.
This episode has an AMAZING climax. Data shooting up a town. And then Picard using the treaty with the Sheliak, and doing a loophole to obliterate them in law and then LORDING over it. “You enjoyed that sir” “You’re damn right I did”. AMAZING line reads. And he just… smugly wanders the bridge as they try to call him back and he just… enjoys his plaque. God it’s the best Picard moment in the series.
And then it all concludes with some amazing “Is Data truly alive, is it true he feels nothing or does he feel things in his own way?” Even the kissing girl, which I thought was a little unneccesary, fit together amazingly so far. An amazing episode. A great 50th episode, too!
The Survivors - TNG 7/10
In this episode, the crew responds to a distress beacon. The planet is completely obliterated… except for a small house and two old white people. They seem pleasant enough, albeit kinda weird. They are just, the most boring old white couple. Apparently a warship was here, and it was scary, but they’re fine now and they REALLY want them to leave. Huh!
Also at the same time, Troi is suddenly beset by a genuine TORTURE where there’s loud music and it’s overwhelming her, driving her mad. It’s genuinely painful to watch, and it’s a VERY good setup.
Each time they return to the Enterprise, a ship comes to scare them off. And the old people are surprise they come back each time. The final time, the old people are blown up instead. Picard is fed up of this, and is one step ahead of them. It’s interesting but there’s no real B plot and it’s a bit much.
I actually, surprisingly, have little to say other than the general plot about half the episode. The old guy is the only one who actually survived, he was basically a Q-like being who married a human woman and was happy. His acting is good, and you really feel for him as he tells his life story. How he couldn’t save everyone because he swore a life of nonviolence. But at the death of his wife, he killed all of the invading force. While it was a good setup, a boring middle, this ending is WILD.
This old man, infinitely powerful, admits he committed genocide. 50 billion people. “Is the love of a woman worth the destruction of an entire species?” He’s living with his sin, and trying desperately to escape it, so he was trying to hide, to hide from himself too. It hits HARD and it’s very good.
If it weren’t for the middle… the middle dragged because Picard knew what was going on and the entire crew was just confused and Picard was being cryptic? To just… lord over everyone? It’s uncomfortable, but then it gets back to the good part. So like, a 7, but with the bones to be even better.
Here’s some fun images of Frakes doing some of his own stunts.
Who Watches the Watchers - TNG 10/10
There is a primitive race of peaceful people, apparently quite similar to the Vulcan, who the Federation is observing via an observation station hiding in the rock using holograms. Oops, their observation deck exploded! This is why most alien races build an OBSERVATION SATELLITE INSTEAD, HUMANS.
While rescuing the observation deck workers, a Not Klingon finds it and electrocutes himself, and is abducted by the aliens. His daughter is… kinda terrified but astounded by the situation?? It’s very interesting.
They heal him and send him back, and he’s IMMEDIATELY like “MY DAUGHTER WE MUST FORM A RELIGION!” which is… a bit fast, but I get it. You were healed by godlike beings I guess sure.
Riker and Troi go down to try and find a lost human who had fallen into a cave. The aliens find him and take him to their town. Whoops! Worse contamination! And the guy who saw them is like “They called him… Picard. So we shall call him… The Picard!” OOPS THEY WORSHIP PICARD NOW. So now Riker and Troi have to distract them so they can teleport him up. Riker succeeds but it’s tense, and Troi is captured now.
The Dad, who was the one captured, REALLY wants to make the Picard happy so he’ll bring his wife back. It’s… tense, and serious. But really good tbh. Someone is like “Hey Picard, like it or not, we’ve broken the prime directive. You should go down there and guide the religion before it becomes an inquisition” and Picard is like “I’M NOT GOING TO GIVE COMMANDMENTS?!” It’s actually weirdly anti-religion in a way I find surprising. “YOU WANT ME TO SABOTAGE THEIR PROGRESS (learning the supernatural wasn’t real) AND SEND THEM BACK TO THE DARK AGE??”
So no. Instead, Picard wants to take their leader and explain it to her. He’s going to have to break the prime directive… but in the only way Picard knows how. Not by Becoming Moses. But by talking.
Seeing a “primitive” (I hate that word but you get it) person experiencing the Enterprise is… really cool. He’s trying desperately to get her to realize that he’s just a PERSON. It’s extremely good to watch, I really love it. Yes sure it’s breaking the prime directive but god he’s trying, and he’s doing the best he can.
It’s also very heartwarming. “Perhaps my people will one day also build ships that fly in the sky.” “Of that I have no doubt.”
But in the end, the possibility of him bestowing gifts on them is too great, and she requests he bring some people back to life. At the same time, Dad is going to kill Troi. It’s tense and exciting and wow I really love this? It’s big on just, religion and the problems with believing in a supernatural being and… GOD. GOD I LOVED IT.
The sudden ending is a bit jarring. Dad shoots Picard to prove he’s a god, and BEHOLD! THE GOD WHO BLEEDS!!! And then jump cut, Picard is actually fine.
Hey look, some tapestry that will hang in Picard’s room for the rest of the series! God this episode was good. It’s a good idea, it shows WHY the Prime Directive exists. They’ve always been intentionally vague about the PD, but here it shows WHY it has to exist.
The Bonding - TNG 9/10
In this episode, Worf is exploring some ruins when they start to fall apart and kill one of the women on his team. She’s survived by a 12 year old son.
CHILD ACTOR TIME! This is our child actor today. He’s fine. But I dunno why but like, all of the people watching with me agreed. This kid looks like one of Hitler’s Youth. Just that super smooth carefully kept hair. Big Fascist Kid vibes.
Wesley and Riker talking about telling the first of kin: “How do you get used to telling them?” “You hope you never do.” Good lines.
Worf is not handling someone dying on his watch well. He talks to Troi about it, in another one of Troi’s increasingly good scenes, where she actually ACTS like a counselor. And isn’t just like “Ahh, he feels… Klingon.”
In order to get over his feelings of grief over having someone die on his watch, Worf basically pushes his grief onto this poor kid. It’s a little hard to watch. He basically tried to adopt this kid to atone for his “failures”.
Our B plot involves Wesley still kinda being bothered by his dad dying. And everyone’s like “you might be able to help this poor kid!” but Wesley like CLEARLY doesn’t want to cause it’s still a sore spot for him and hey look at that I actually sympathize with Wes!
This episode is reaching in DEEP about stuff, and it’s interesting to contrast it to the previous episode. It’s about how people handle grief, how they try to survive it and move through it, the grief and fear of death.
And then the science comes back and pushes the fiction away, and she comes back to life and it’s creepy. It’s real creepy. It’s INTENTIONALLY creepy but it’s just JARRING after the rest of the episode for plot to suddenly hit. She wants the kid to go to the planet with her, is trying to lure him down.
tbf I’d be lured by a cat too.
It’s jarring at first but it makes sense and works once you get a bit further in, and it fits so well with the basic themes and outlook of the episode. How people handle grief and death. She represents surpressing it, ignoring it, living in a fantasy. Closing your eyes and going “it never happened”. It works SO well. It feels a bit odd, because of how well it does it. It almost feels not Trek-ish, with how hard it’s pushing this theme. Maybe I’m reading too much into it.
The original concept was better though. Apparently, it had no Alien Bullshit here. The kid instead recreated his mother in the holodeck. I feel like that might have super emotional, but probably TOO much. Of course Roddenberry changed it for a dumb reason.
“According to Piller, this change was at the behest of Gene Roddenberry, who objected that children in the twenty-fourth century would have a greater acceptance of death. It was Piller who suggested the alien involvement to fit the story into Roddenberry’s vision.”
We will never escape our fears and grief around death. Death will not be solved. Shut up, Roddenberry.
Anyways it works out as Wesley talks about his past. Good Wesley lore and character building. And some of these lines, DAMN! Worf: “Your mother is not here.” points to fake mom “She is here.” touches heart
This episode is emotional. And quite powerful. A shame they never brought this kid back. He’s Worf’s brother now. They are family.
Booby Trap - TNG 1.5/10
This episode starts with Geordi on a date with someone in the holodeck and it is possibly the most uncomfortable, the most PAINFUL thing to watch in Star Trek, and I’ve watched people DIE in this series many, many times. I watched people scream in agony as the teleporter liquidized them. I did not mute that scene. I muted this one!!!
Watching Geordi strike out caused actual physical pain.
Picard goes on an away mission! He’s super excited to see some old dead ships. After having fun looking at corpses he comes back all giddy and then Shit Hits The Fan, and then OOPS, seems they’ve fallen into some kind of BOOBY TRAP! title drop.
They’re losing energy, and are now stuck in place, and gotta find a way out. Geordi is tasked, and he turns on some special AI based on the lady who build the warp engines, and is very flirty with it lol which is KINDA cute cause Geordi being himself is cute. It’s a LOT of technobabble. But it’s also a little uncomfortable for reasons I’ll explain, and it only gets worse.
He makes a hologram of her, kinda by accident. And he tries to make her more like… her, and kinda creates new life, again, in the holodeck. It’s kinda creepy now. Come on, Geordi.
At the same time Data is trying to decypher some old files from the dead ship. Far more pleasant to watch. Always need a Data Break.
Look, a bit ago, people were like “Why is Geordi so low on your “would get cancelled” list, he’s an incel”. And I went “OH NO IS THIS THE GEORDI INCEL EPISODE”. People told me, no. It gets worse than this. Geordi and this REAL WOMAN who built the engines of the Enterprise basically start being romantic while trying to figure this out. This is A REAL. WOMAN. It’s like using AI generation to try and see your crush naked, it’s WRONG. And GROSS. It drags me out of the episode and I cannot possibly imagine this getting worse, unless this random woman becomes a real character.
…..That’s what happens isn’t it. God dammit.
If he was like “give me a simulation of someone who knows the Enterprise as well as I do”, and it generated a woman he fell in love with, I’d probably like it more? I wouldn’t LOVE it. A nerd generating a waifu to fall in love with is just real cringy. This COULD have been better but holy shit Geordi nooooo please noooo.
It’s painful. They make it out. Whatever.
I wanted to give this a 1/10 but Neli talked me into a 1.5 cause there was a cool scene with a model of the enterprise and it made her happy.
Conclusions
Wow. That final episode was…. very bad. This entire batch was amazing except for that lol. A good sign for Season 3, though. Two 10/10s! And one…. not 10! I’m trying not to let that cloud my judgement.
Excited for more.
The Enemy - TNG 10/10
This episode starts in a WILD way, this set they have for this stormy planet is wild. They don’t do sets like this, it’s grimy and dark and cool, it just feels like we don’t see this very often.
Anyways, they find a Romulan on the planet, which is in the Federation side of space. Oops. I’m sure that was an accident, gee, the Rolumans sure break galactic law by accident a lot!!
Geordi falls down a hole, and then we get one of the most bad ass things I’ve ever seen a Federation member do. While injured, in a storm, and alone, he melts metal down to make ice picks and SCALES THE HOLE. I think they were trying to make up for Geordi looking so terrible in the last episode. Let’s just pretend that episode didn’t happen until we’re forced to!
Anyways Geordi gets captured by a Romulan. And he’s REALLY sassy about it, there’s an amazing quote. “I never lie when I got sand in my boots”. What a line.
Anyways he saves the Romulans life and doesn’t even take the gun from him. Why. I guess cause he expects them to work together? Well uh, they don’t!! And the Romulan keeps him at gun point.
At the same time, they have the captured Romulan who needs a transfusion. Worf is the only possible donor! Worf of course, refuses. “There’s a time and place to hate Romulans, Worf!” says Crusher. “If they had killed your parents, you’d know its always the time and place for racism!” says Worf.
Well then, Worf.
It’s tense. Picard won’t let a Romulan warship cross the neutral zone to save the Romulans, one Romulan is dying, and the one with Geordi is injured and dying while Geordi tries to convince the other, Bochra, to join him and not give in to propaganda and misgivings. And then, finally when he succeeds, he goes blind.
Lots of good character moments, for a LOT of characters here. Riker and Worf, talking about the Klingon war and letting old hatred go so that more don’t suffer. Geordi, with his blindness. Geordi has to fix a thing but can’t because he’s blind, what will he possibly do?! “I will be your eyes.” says Bochra. Good line.
There’s a good moment where Picard is like “we need this Romulan alive, Worf, you’re the only one who can save him.” “You can force me and I will sir.” “This isn’t the 2020s, Worf, we have a right to our bodies here. Will you reconsider?” “Nope.” “…Alright, I don’t force you.” The Romulan dies (not before saying he’s rather die than be infected with Klingon blood, fuck that guy).
In the end, giving some trust into those you hate to try and bread the cycle wins out. It’s a really good episode.
The Price - TNG 6/10
Ironically, by the end of this episode, the price is in fact wrong.
Troi is trying to relax and Picard, who seems weirdly sloshed and excited, is like “TROI YOU HAVE TO COME MEET THE DELEGATES, WE’RE ABOUT TO SEE THE WORMHOLE!”
And we get the first great line from Troi
Anyways they get to see the first stable wormhole to ever be found! Clearly DS9 does not exist yet in any capacity.
The Ferengi show up and for the first time I’m happy to see them as they are here to actually trade and buy things, it’s like the Ferengi are HERE AND THEY’RE ACTUALLY FERENGI. They do Ferengi things! Like shitty backhanded dealings!
At the same time, there’s this weird guy who gives me massive red flags and is weirdly creepy. He’s called a hired gun and acts really weird and overly flirty and sexy towards Troi and it makes me uncomfy. I have no idea what the deal is and any time they’re on screen I’m like “GET BACK TO THE DEALINGS ABOUT THE WORMHOLE AND THE FERENGI PLEASE”
They make me look at Troi’s feet and I hate it. The entire situation with this dude screams “If I’m without you, I cannot breath. I hate sand”. It’s so stilted and uncomfortable.
At least
There is no heterosexual explanation for this random yoga scene.
At least the stuff with the A plot is cool. Geordi and Data are exploring the wormhole with the Ferengi, and it doesn’t appear as stable as they claim it is! And they TRY to get the Ferengi to leave but pfff the Ferengi know better than the dumb hoomans… oh whoops they’re stranded in the Delta Quadrant and are TOTALLY fucked and dead ha ha oopsie doodles.
Anyways woah turns out the dude I could tell was a creepy dickhead is a creepy dickhead! He plays everyone in the proceedings, as well as Troi. He’s an empath, and there’s a lot of interesting discussion about ethics around being an empath and using psychic powers to get an upperhand in dealings. It’s actually kinda neat, and while it doesn’t SAVE this half of the episode, it helps.
Riker ripping him down to size helps too. God bless Riker.
In the end, the wormhole means nothing, and Dickhead trying to do backyard dealings with the Ferengi to gain control does nothing. And he forcefully kisses Troi and I hate it. A plot good. B plot bad. But still MOSTLY good.
The Vengeance Factor - TNG 9/10
In this episode, our heroes land on a world with Xbox branding
Anyways the main story is that there’s an alien race who are peaceful, but some people who have become violent pirates and haven’t given up their old violent ways. Apparently there were some Clan Wars, and they’re far over. There’s some good action scenes when they try to come and negotiate.
At the same time, hey look, a sexy lady Riker can flirt with! She’s demure and quiet but very sweet.
Turns out she’s Evil, which is fun. She murders a dude which turns it into a bit of a murder mystery. Cool!
There’s also this dude.
Remember a few seasons ago, there was a Dashing Rogue character that I hated? This is that but like, fun. And way better. He doesn’t sexually harass women. He’s goofy and over the top. He’s a pirate sure, but he’s not evil, he wants to be better, it’s just what he’s had to do. He has good report with Wesley, who doesn’t quite like him. It’s a good twist on Wes, we’ve never gotten to really see him in these situations!
There’s some actually good scenes with Riker and this girl! Usually I don’t like the obviously forced riker horniness. But here it works well. She’s a servant, and is used to being a servant. She basically can’t NOT be a servant. Riker tells her very clearly, while also flirting with her, that she’s his EQUAL. She basically can’t comprehend it. And when she goes to his bedroom to fuck later, she does it only to serve him. He is VERY not into that. When Riker fucks, it is NOT one sided.
The performances are really good, ESPECIALLY in the political dealings where they’re trying to get the pirates to join society. And then ESPECIALLY when it gets to the end, where she doesn’t think she can do ANYTHING but be an assassin, and she basically makes Riker kill her. It’s quite powerful.
The wars are over. And Riker is never allowed to be happy.
The Defector - TNG 10/10
This episode starts with Data doing a performance of Henry V on the Holodeck as Picard watches on excitedly, it’s very adorable. At the same time, Sir Patrick Stewart is flexing and ALSO playing one of the other characters. Picard implores Data to consider what Shakespeare is saying about what makes a man, so he’s better understand what it is to be human. This is what modern Trek is missing. Copious Shakespeare.
The episode then begins. A Roluman Warbird attacks a scout, as a defector begs to be saved. Turns out, according to him, the Romulans are going to attack, and have a base in the Neutral Zone ready to attack. He could easily be lying to get them to break treaty, but he claims he just wants to stop a war.
I love his interactions with Worf. He insults him in Klingon then laughs as Worf leaves, and is like “I LIKE HIM!”
He also blows up his own vessel cause he ain’t no traitor, he just wants to stop a war. Anyways basically no one believes this dude. I don’t believe this dude. There’s some good character moments with Picard here, anxious that he’s going to fucking ruin everything by choosing one choice or the other. Hey, good call backs to Henry V, too!
Great line: “What a fool I’ve been. To come looking for courage in a lair of cowards.”
In the end, after Data kinda befriends the Romulan, he admits he’s actually Admiral Jarok. Who kinda did a massacre, so no one really likes him, oops. I kinda like him tbh. He’s fun. Romulans are fun, I love how they’re portrayed and I’m so happy we’re seeing them more, and in GOOD episodes!!
I love the conversation between Picard and Jarok. “You are not a man of peace, Jarok! You did a massacre!” “What you call a massacre, we call a campaign. One world’s butcher is another hero’s butcher.” The writing in this is VERY good, there’s lots of great moments. Wow they knew how to write Romulans. And you still don’t know. You can’t tell if he’s true, if he ACTUALLY wants to stop war, or if he’s just suuuuch a good actor.
Turns out he’s telling the truth… kind of. The Romulan high command lied to him. To test his resolve. He failed the test, AND brought fake information to the Enterprise. Whoops. Hey look who’s back!
Same dude who went not only into the neutral zone but into Alliance territory earlier tonight, in The Enemy! See, when he did that, we were like “okay we get it we’ll let you go”. When WE do it, after they intentionally force us to, they go “okay time to die :)”
That’s Romulans!!
This works out SO well. Basically, through the entire episode, Picard gives orders to Worf. He’s like “Worf, join me in my quarters”, then we don’t see what he wants to talk about. I was like “did… did they forget?” “Oh maybe it was a cut scene…?” Then they do it again. And THEN, at the end, OH SHIT THEY HAVE AN ENTOURAGE OF KLINGON WARBIRDS! Goddd good shit. Picard outsmarts the Romulans! Oh and Jarok unalives himself, as he sacrificed everything for nothing, and his family will only ever see him as a traitor. Tragic. But VERY good episode.
The Hunted - TNG 8/10
As the episode starts, we have an alien civilization who wants to join the Federation! They ask the Enterprise to get a dangerous prisoner who’s escaped! The prisoner is very clever, doing everything possible to elude capture, but is FINALLY beamed on board. We actually get to see security guards to security guarding! Usually you don’t have violent prisoners running around on the Enterprise!
Troi episode time! She senses he’s in pain, and that he’s not inherently one with a “criminal personality” whatever the fuck that means. Cause you know, being a criminal is just a type of person. Also he’s a military man. Y’know, totally nonviolent and would never do illegal acts.
Basically they made him a super soldier and traumatized him. And it’s shown as TERRIBLE. He’s nonviolent but he’s been PROGRAMMED to fight when he has to. Gee when did Star Trek get so woke. And the Angosians just exiled the traumatized PTSD veterans to a space colony without even trying to help them, cause why bother.
This goes… WEIRDLY hard. “Why captain, he’s lying! It’s a prison TECHNICALLY but they’re treated very well, they just can’t leave! They are seperate! But equal!!!”
Jesus.
Good character moments too. God bless Data. He starts to resonate with the prisoner in a good way.
Anyways this episode goes from interesting to fucking dumb because this super soldier just RESISTS THE TRANSPORTER and escapes. WHY? HOW? That’s NOT how transporters work. Why? Why??? It’s so stupid and has no reason and no explanation.
And then he just breaks his way through the Enterprise and cannot be stopped. I like the concept of a Movie Action Hero just Die Harding through the Enterprise, but it’s really kinda stupid. This dude reprograms the computers by slotting chips around. I don’t give a fuck if he’s Solid Fucking Snake, there’s no reason this alien should know how to reprogram and work with Alliance computers and technology. It drags me out of the story HARD and I can’t focus on the fun escape sequence ):
Anyway he gets out, Worf is useless as always (though is able to see through deception), and breaks out everyone else in the penal colony. And they make their way directly to the capital. YEAH, LET’S RIOT! FUCK THOSE FASCISTS, GRAB YOUR GUILLOTINES, SUPPORT OUR VETERANS YOU’VE PROGRAMMED INTO WAR MACHINES!
When the episode goes back to a huge metaphor about how American society handles war, soldiers, and their lives that they ruin, it goes back to being real strong. In the end when the prime minister goes “HELP US, I DON’T WANT TO SUPPORT THE VETERANS” Picard straight up goes “No. Also we reject your proposal to join the Federation. Try again when you do better”. Like hot damn.
In the end, I like the message and how it approached it. It just got a bit too silly in the middle there. It’s not subtle! At all!!!! But it’s good.
THOUGHTS
…I legit was like “should I really be giving this many 10s? Should I readjust my scale?”
And people tell me the later seasons are even better. I am not prepared.
Do y’all think I should adjust my scale or will season 4 and 5 just be all 10s lmfao
The High Ground - TNG 3/10
On this episode of Star Trek, the writers decide they want to make a comment on The Troubles! God fucking help us!
To be extremely fair to the writer, the original concept wasn’t to make a commentary on Ireland, but instead on the American Revolution. She was told by some producer to change it to being about Ireland, which she did not want to do but the producers are ALWAYS right!!
Anyways, Crusher, a neutral medic who was helping one side of a conflict, is captured by the rebels. Now the Enterprise, who was just there supplying medical supplies for trade, are caught in a war on terrorism as they try to get Crusher back.
I think it kinda tried to both sides the issue but does it kinda poorly and really just puts all the blame on these political terrorists fighting for sovereignty. The police have a list of sympathizers and arrest anyone possibly dangerous, sure, but the terrorists use teenagers to blow up buses of kids.
Hey look, it’s that thing! So many people got angry over this :)
Anyways all of this is completely thrown out the window of “gee which one is in the wrong” when the rebels teleport onto the Enterprise and try to blow it up and kill all of them, just cause “hey they’re not on our side so maybe this will alert the Federation to the fact we need help” which is…. very stupid.
Also the rebels have a transporter that does “dimensional shifts”, which can move through shields, but melts their DNA, and they want Crusher to fix the melting DNA. They’re like “we’re serious enough to use this stuff that’s killing us!” which like, I get, and also, why the fuck did this never come back? Apparently it very rarely did but like… the Borg wouldn’t use this? The Klingons wouldn’t??? They don’t care about the survival of their soldiers.
Anyways the terrorists’ idea is “we will hurt the Federation, so that they’ll come to the negotiation table to get you all back and stop us, and we will use that to have them get concessions from the fascist government”. Which is not how the federation works but that’s okay. It’s not a TERRIBLE idea but it does a real shit job at humanizing the rebels. Crusher gets on their side, for… some reason. They tried to blow up her fucking son. And he’s like “What? I’ve been NOTHING but polite to you! I just tried to kill your son, which I specifically told you I’d do”. It’s trying to make him look like a nice guy. He makes some art for her!
It fails SO hard at this. “I don’t want you to fear me”. Then don’t BLOW UP NEUTRAL PEOPLE TO USE THEM AS A BARGAINING CHIP? And then tell those neutral people “why do you fear me???”
I won’t lie, my sympathies will almost always lie with rebels of a large government. This could have worked as a good analogy. Like, an analogy for the US/Isreal relationship. A large powerful force ignoring the downtrodden minority of their servant state, offering aid and power to that servant state and ignoring the fascism. But no. The Enterprise just showed up to do trade once, and then found out about the situation. And they were like “Hey we’re willing to help, just send people to negotiate” and the rebels go “Hmm how about instead we try to kill you so we have a bigger bargaining chip???”
They try to do a both sides argument and fucking fail so hard. Centrism failed. Except it’s actually an AMAZING representation of centrism because centrism always tries to do a both sides argument but they ACTUALLY mean the leftist side. It’s yet more liberal bullshit.
Anyways it ends with a wet fart as the lead rebel is killed, and nothing is resolved. It tries to make a statement, as a boy refuses to kill the police leader. “Maybe the cycle ends with the choice of one boy putting down his gun” but it… doesn’t end. That may fit here for this one situation but not for like, terrorism? There’s also no real history, or concept behind this rebellion to make it hit. It has big “very special episode” anti-drug episode energy, you know what I mean?
Deja Q - TNG 10/10
The Enterprise is trying to stop a moon from hitting a planet when Q shows up, completely naked, and we get to see John de Lancie’s ass.
Nice bulge, Q.
Hey look, it’s the facepalm that launched a million facepalms!
Anyways Q is immediately thrown in the brig and de Lancie is the best actor who isn’t currently acting as Data, jesus. He’s so good. He’s chewing the scenery so much you can visibly see the bite marks.
It’s fun to see Q learning what it means to be Human and absolutely hating it. He got kicked out of the Q Continuum and got turned into a human and he’s like “OH GOD I FELT SO WEAK AND LOST CONSCIOUS-“ “You… fell asleep.”
It’s also real funny to see a godlike being just not understand the limits and what humans are, really. “Oh I know how you fix it. Just change the gravitational constant of the universe, easy!”
I really like the dichotomy between Q and Data. Q was turned into a human as a punishment. Data wants to be one, but cannot earn it. They bond in a really fun way.
Guinan sees Q, and Data is like “we’re not sure if he’s telling the truth on if he’s human” and she immediately fucking stabs him which is the best god damn thing in the world, I fucking love her.
Anyways a Space Ghost called the Calamarain shows up and attacks Q, cause apparently they hate him. I can’t imagine why.
Turns out yeah the real reason Q became Human and came here is because Humans are basically the only people in the universe who would actually protect him from all the enemies he’s made. All of this episode is peak writing, it’s EXTREMELY entertaining, and there are a lot of really good character moments as characters bounce off each other.
Poor Data almost died trying to save Q’s life and let me tell you, the entire crew is very, very happy about that. Q is miserable. He admits he’s a shitty terrible human. He straight up admits to Data, “You’re a better human than I”, because if he had been in Data’s shoes he wouldn’t have even begun to try and save him. It’s an extremely powerful moment, and Q straight up commits suicide so he stops being a problem for the crew. And when the Enterprise try to protect him, they can’t cause they’re stopped by another Q. A good line. Picard: “We need to teleport Q and the shuttle he’s on back” everyone looks at him “It’s a good shuttle craft.” lmao.
Anyways he committed a selfless act so he learns his lesson and another Q lets him become a god again. And for his going away present, he gets rid of the moon that was falling, and also gives a going away present to Data, his “professor of the humanities”, and it made me laugh so much to watch.
What a good episode.
A Matter of Perspective - TNG 3/10
This episode starts with the captain and some others doing some nude model painting (as in painting a model, not Picard posing nudely). Data compliments all the others and insults Picard’s in a funny way.
Anyways, it’s a good cold open, where Riker is sounding grumpy while beaming back onto the enterprise. And as soon as he gets there, though he almost doesn’t make it, the space station explodes. Good setting up of the conflict!
Riker is charged with murder of the scientist who was on that vessel. The government of this alien race believes people are guilty until proven innocent (a terrible justice system, what is this, that one Ace Attorney game?), and demands they turn him over. Picard basically refuses, but suggests using the holodeck to recreate the events of the murder so they can try and figure out what happened. Not fully how the holodeck should work, not sure how it’d help really, but I’m willing to suspend my disbelief cause the murder mystery is neat and I like murder mysteries.
As soon as we start watching what happened according to Riker, it’s massively obvious who the murderer was. The doctor’s wife is super horny and is climbing so hard into Riker’s pants, and he is NOT into it. This is of course all his testimony and it’s him against the wife’s testemony. According to the aliens, they got readings that he shot off a phaser… which y’know, is dumb, cause it’s been shown that the Enterprise can tell when a phaser is being fired.
They find a weird radiation, and some damage it did to the ship, as the testimonies continue. The scientist’s wife gives her’s now, and it’s creepy as fuck. You can tell Frakes hates it too, in that same way whenever Troi’s actress hates what they’re making her do. Anyways so according to her, Riker came onto her and did some really uncomfortable sexual assault. I muted it. I couldn’t watch it. Don’t put sexual assault in your shows. The real Riker protests, and I do too. They even use the R word, like fucking Christ.
Yeah, me too Riker.
Anyways according to Troi, they’re both telling the truth which like… I GUESS the idea is that people’s memories are fallable? It’s not melicious in the way they’re trying to say it, and the episode IS called “a matter of perspective”, but the way they handle it is gross and I don’t like it. Cause she’s wrong. That isn’t how it went, and she’s just portrayed as the horny lying bitch. It’s done so poorly like what the fuck.
There’s a third simulation where someone who wasn’t even THERE gives another testimony and the government official is like “this is admissible according to our system of law”, which seems to be written just to be the worst rule of law ever?
This episode is a good idea. I like the idea of a whodunnit murder mystery that’s solved using the holodeck but that’s not actually what this is, it’s instead a commentary on how people’s perspectives are all filled with both correct and incorrect parts. Any actual whodunnit was done in the background offscreen in the b plot. Anyways it all doesn’t matter cause it turns out the wife didn’t actually do it and lied for no fucking reason, it was actually the doctor who killed himself while TRYING to kill Riker. You could have done this without portraying Commander Riker as a rapist or a sex pest at best.
Didn’t like this. Good enough setup but the general idea behind it is rotten. Bad episode.
Yesterday’s Enterprise - TNG 10/10
This episode starts with a great scene where Worf declares that prune juice is a warrior’s drink, and when Guinan tells him he should get laid, he says he’s afraid he’d rip the human women on the Enterprise apart as they are too squishy. She calls him a coward. He is.
Reality shifts as a weird radiation effect washes over them, and things move to a darker reality. Oh look, Tasha Yar is back! And I legit went “WOAH!” and all the people watching with me went “that’s the exact reaction we wanted thank you Liz”. It surprised me! I knew Yar would come back but like, not this fast, I thought she’d still want nothing to do with Trek.
Anyways, things are… very different now. It’s not a captain’s log, it’s a Battle Log. It’s all very military coded, and we’re still at war with the Klingons. That also means there’s no signs of Worf! No one seems to notice anything’s shifted… except Guinan, who warns Picard of this. VERY good setup like omg.
Anyways, there’s another Enterprise here. The Enterprise C. Turns out 22 years ago, the Enterprise C saved a Klingon outpost from some Romulans, which would have helped the Klingons move closer to an alliance with the Federation. But then the Enterprice C is sent into the future, and that timeline never happened. They could send the Enterprice C back to its own time, and fix the timeline… but it would be a death sentence for the ship and all its crew. Is it right to do that?
Good concept, very good concept. The captain of the Enterprise C is cool, she’s a lady! Imagine that. I guess our world of Starship Captains DOES have room for women!
Guinan over in the corner staring at Yar getting her mack on with some guy and is like “THIS ISN’T RIGHT THIS ISN’T RIGHT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE GAY. ALSO DEAD I GUESS, BUT MOSTLY GAY.”
In the end, though everyone hates the idea, Picard decides to go along with Guinan’s idea and send these people to their deaths. The Enterprise C’s captain actually ends up agreeing, alongside all the other members of her crew. They want to give the Romulans a good fight.
Why did Gene Roddenberry look at a lesbian and go “I want that”, and then they spent the entire rest of the series trying to go “SHE’S TOTALLY NOT GAY, GUYS”.
Something else on my mind. Worf isn’t here. The idea is yeah they’re still at war with the Klingons but uh, this changing moment was 22 years ago. Worf is way older than 22 years old, he’s like in his early 30s. He would have been adopted by Humans in this timeline too. I guess maybe cause of the war he’s not allowed to be in star fleet? Okay that makes sense. (Neli looked it up after, apparently the Kitomer Massacre was 2 years after this, so nevermind!)
Anyways Yar knows she’s dead in the “correct” timeline. Guinan tells her. There’s some good scenes with that, where Yar is… fucked up cause she doesn’t belong there. “Guinan said I died a senseless death… I want my death to count for something”. Imagine making an episode in an entire attempt to turn Yar’s death, which was bad and terrible, into something much better.
“Let’s make sure history never forgets the name Enterprise.” Good line.
We get one of the only battle scenes in early TNG, as the Enterprise D tries to defend the C as it re-enters the rift. With disastrous results.
Thank god this timeline never happened. Apparently originally, Data was going to be electrocuted, and Wesley Crusher was going to be fucking DECAPITATED. But they only showed Riker’s death. Fucking hell. Can you imagine…
The episode ends with them about to be blown up by Klingons, but then it all becomes better, and we get one last sweet send off to Tasha Yar. For now. Gosh, good episode.
The Offspring - TNG 11/10
In this episode, Data creates a daughter! Oh boy!! It just STARTS with that. That’s the cold open. Jesus!
This is apparently Frakes’ first directing gig. Damn Frakes, you’re starting off strong, huh?
Lots of arguments about whether Lal is his kid, and Picard is NOT happy. Lots of it pronouns, but Data very clearly goes “I will let Lal choose their own pronouns and appearance” which, damn. When did Star Trek get so woke???
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME, DATA” “…No one else on the ship informs you of their procreation, captain?” lmfao
THE DOUBLE FACEPALM!
“Gender male. Gender female. I am gender neuter. That is inadequate.” No, Lal. It is the 2400s. Nonbinary people are normal!
Lal uses the Holodeck to see what form they’d like to take, and goes for one of four. You have all these options, and your choices are an Andorian (The ONLY ONE we see in TNG), two humans, and a Klingon.
And then the Enterprise explodes in a giant pink explosion. Gender reveal parties were immediately outlawed.
Data tries to teach Lal all about society, and the world. And it’s honestly ADORABLE. “PAINTING” “Yes, it’s a beautiful painting!” “PAINTING!” “No, that’s a flower, also beautiful.”
“Why do I exist?” “It is very complex. But my best way to explain is that our goals in this world is to improve it and make it better.” That’s beautiful. And that’s how I view the meaning for life, too.
Hey look, it’s my experience with school!
“I do not with to be different”. Oh honey. This is breaking my heart.
Anyways there’s an Admiral who is not happy with this, and wants to take Lal away from her parent, and force her to be at the Daystrom institute so they can both study her and gudie her. And he’s like “I’M ON MY WAY TO STUDY HER, IF I FIND I DON’T LIKE WHAT I SEE I CAN TAKE HER AWAY.” Uh. We had an episode that was all about this. You can’t do that. She has rights. She literally has rights there was a fucking court case about it. It’s only the best episode of Star Trek ever, dude.
“He does not trust my ability as a parent. Is the Admiral a parent?” “Yes, why?” “I wonder how much experience he had with his first child.”
This series LOVES to give Data hard wham lines. This episode is very emotional. And VERY funny.
Hey look, Riker is finally here! He was mostly absent the entire time, on shore leave!
Gosh Riker, you horndog, always macking on the first woman you see.
I don’t blame Lal btw if I had a chance to kiss Riker it’d be hard for me to resist, too.
Asshole Admiral is here. He’s an asshole. I fucking HATE this trope it always feels forced. It’s a different admiral each time, why are there so fucking many of them. He’s angry about them not letting him research her. And they’re like “uhhh that’s against the law.” “Look, Starfleet research are very big fans of Eugenics for the sake of controlling variables for study.” Fuck this guy. I hate him. He’s in the wrong. “YOU’RE HAVING HER WORK AS A WAITRESS IN A COCKTAIL BAR?!” First of all, dude, that song sucks, also fuck you. This isn’t a BAD thing mind you. You’re supposed to hate him. The episode calls him out very clearly. I just have a deep hate for this trope.
“As my last argument, it’s dangerous to have you here. There’s only two Soong Androids, and a rogue romulan shot will kill you both.” Uh, that would have happened already. This changes nothing. You were okay with it before?
He scares her. He scares her so much she feels EMOTION. “THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO FEEL.” This episode is…. really fucking good. It overwhelms her, and her brain starts to collapse. This Admiral practically kills Lal. He gave her a panic attack and she dies of a mental breakdown. He has a change of heart to see how Data tries to save her, but fuck this dude.
She feels emotion for one brief moment before dying. In one final moment, she says she loves her father. There was one, single thing they could do to make me cry. And it did. I cried. And then they double down. “I will feel it for the both of us. Thank you for my life.”
Fucking christ on the cross.
WHY ARE BOTH OF MY 11/10 EPISODES DATA EPISODES. DATA. STOP BEING PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. YOU’RE CARRYING THE SHOW TOO HARD, YOU’LL THROW OUT YOUR BACK LIKE Q DID EARLIER.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I can’t believe I gave three 10/10s today. Well, two 10/10s, and a fucking 11/10. One of only three I’ve ever given for Trek (Lal’s episode, Measure of a Man, and Movie 6). They’re all worth it.
This is a really good season I’m sad I never got to watching it before, jesus christ.
Sins of the Father - TNG 10/10, maybe an 11/10
Hey, continuity! In the same way Riker was assigned to the Pagh as the first officer, now this new guy, Commander Kurn, is assigned as first officer as a cultural exchange. Cool! Although when Riker swapped over to the Pagh, everyone loved him cause Riker is sick and everyone loves Riker. No one likes Kurn. Kurn treats the humans roughly, and treats Worf in a patronizing manner.
It goes to a big of a head when Kurn is very tempted to just murder Riker. And Geordi. And everyone.
God, when Riker went to the Pagh that mother fucker was double fisting gagh and drowning in Klingon pussy but this guy is gagging at turkey and cavier.
Anyways YO TURNS OUT THIS GUY IS ACTUALLY WORF’S BROTHER! He came to make sure Worf was a “True Klingon” which is a bit shitty and Worf rightly calls him out on it, but he comes with news. As the first son, Worf needs to be there to answer for crimes called against his father, betrayal to the empire, called upon by their family’s greatest enemy, Duras. When Worf asks Picard to allow him to leave, Picard is like “uh no you may die. I’ll go with you :)”
Picard is great. Riker goes too, he’s great too.
Some GOD angles, good designs, good shadows. Very dark shadows accenting everything. And I LOVE this line:
“It is a good day to die, Duras. And the day is not yet over.”
While Worf is in trial, with his secret brother as his protector/lawyer basically, Picard goes to be a Big Damn Hero, looking up everything about the massacre of Khitomer.
This is very good character and plot development. You KNOW I love Klingon stuff, and this is HIGH END Klingon stuff. Great backstory and character, I absolutely love it. I even love Kurn, who was a bit of a dick at first but I end up appreciating him by the end. This only gets better as it starts to be shown that things are not what they seem, and this is a giant conspiracy!
OMFG Worf asks Picard to be his new Cha’dIch once Kurn is hurt by Duras’ betrayal, and PICARD IS SO CLEARLY MOVED. And when Duras threatens him like “YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE HUMAN, I CAN KILL YOU EASILY” Picard steps the fuck upppp
I SCREAMED
The plot twists of this are real obvious, like duh it was Duras’ father who was actualyl the traitor. But his family is rich and powerful. Calling HIM out would break the Empire in pieces. Like, it’d make a civil war or something!! We’ll just kick that can down the fuckin’ road I guess. So they used Worf as a scapegoat. It’s some good political drama, and show’s Worf’s strength of character as he accepts this. And also as he slaps the shit out of Duras.
In the end, the episode just ends on this. Worf sacrificing himself and saving his brother, getting dishonored and disowned by the empire in this chilling scene. I was so tempted to just… give it an 11/10 but I’ll give it a 10. But it’s so close.
Allegience - TNG 6.5/10
This episode starts with Picard chilling in his quarters with his relaxation light. That’s still the funniest joke to me, I can’t believe they never brought back the “relaxation light” its the nerdiest shit. Picard prolly eats white bread every day he’s such a nerd.
Anyway he’s immediately kidnapped, but replaced with someone else pretending to be him! Maybe! Sus!
THERE ARE FOUR LIGHT- wait, wrong episode where Picard is kidnapped.
Picard is in a room with two others, including our first Bolian! Picard is smart in this situation. He tries to communicate with his captors, to show them he’s intelligent by tapping out the prime numbers on a keypad. It’s neat!
Back on the enterprise, Sus Picard is MIGHTY sus and everyone is IMMEDIATELY like “uhhhh” when Picard just randomly tells them to go to a pulsar at warp 2 and walks in on them playing Poker and being all fucking weird.
A fourth captive shows up. We have a Bolian student, a Human captain, a stuffy pacifist, and a Warrior Boi. The pacifist and warrior boi’s races are less important so I don’t remember them.
Dopplecard asks Crusher out. It’s so weird like, this was a thing they were kinda pushing in the early half of season 1. Now it’s finally come back and Crusher is like “why the fuck you doin’ this now?” It feels weird! We know he’s not really Picard, so this fake alien or whatever is kinda gaslighting Crusher and it’s really uncomfy.
Back with the Real Picard, the captives are at each other’s throats, and the Bolian says something that’s miiiighty sus, and Picard is ready to throw her out the airlock.
Fuck that scene though WE GET TO WATCH FAKE PICARD SING A SEA SHANTY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS EPISODE
He BUYS EVERYONE A ROUND (with what fucking MONEY, PICARD), and then sings a sea shanty. I love how all the commanding officers are like “what the fuuuck is going oooon” but all the civvies and ensigns are like “FUCK YEAHHHH” and sing along with him lmao
I love how they allow Picard to overact, it’s so fun. But I gotta say? Of all the characters who could act erratically, Picard acting weird is the…. wildest thing, it’s the most uncanny valley. Good Riker moments follow this, as he leads a mutiny and is really unhappy he has to but like, “you are not Picard. You’ve shown none of the empathy he would.”
Anyways Picard calls out the Bollian, who’s not actually a Bolian. He has her ejected. Turns out it was a race who has no concept of authority and wanted to study it. They return Picard to the Enterprise, and he IMMEDIATELY instructs his crew to imprison them in a big ol’ Pepto Bismol beam, with a “yeah this is what it feels to be kidnapped now get the fuck off my ship”. This episode feels like a TOS plot with TNG scripting. It was fine! A mid point in the season.
Captain’s Holiday - TNG 7/10
More Picard episodes! In this one, Picard needs a fucking vacation. Don’t we all, baldy, you ain’t special.
Everyone is trying to force Picard to take a vacation, but he’s an old fart and refuses. So they take matters into their own hands. Troi: “Hey guess who’ll be at the starbase we’re going? My MOTHER! :D She’s so excited to see you!”
Picard IMMEDIATELY agrees to leave, and then we get the slightest of smirks between Troi and Riker and it’s the funniest shit I was fucking DYING at this scene.
Anyways Picard goes to a vacation planet, and is IMMEDIATELY wrapped up with a lot of bullshit. A random woman kisses Picard to try and make a Ferengi jealous and he’s like “what the fuck was that. A handshake would have sufficed”. Then he is lounging and reading some “light reading” (fucking Ulysses. What’s next, Finnegan’s Wake?) , and women keep coming up to proposition him for sex. Turns out this weird tiki Riker gave him is a signal fire for “I want to get laid”
RIKER LEGIT TRIED TO GET HIS BOSS LAID, AS IF HE’S JUST GOING TO ACCEPT FUCKING SOME RANDOM WOMAN ON THIS PLEASURE PLANET. WHAT THE FUCK RIKER
This is the funniest episode ever.
Hey look, it’s Vash! I actually know this lady! She’s a fun mess of a woman, and is the lady who kissed Picard and is leading on the Ferengi dude.
Anyways the plot turns out there’s some artifact from the future that some future aliens are like “Hey Picard please return it to us when you can”, and Vash ropes Picard into helping her keep it safe from the ferengi so she can TOTALLY put it in a museum and not steal it bro come on you can trust her right
Sovak, the Ferengi, is played by the same actor who plays Rom. I saw him and went “holy shit it’s Rom” but then he does this weird thing where he squints a lot? And I was like “oh that’s clearly not Rom” but it KINDA is. I love how the Ferengi in early TNG are all played the DS9 Ferengi actors.
Anyways I like the character dynamics here with everyone bouncing off each other. Vash is fun, and the mystery of this future artifact is also neat. And with the weird timey wimey time travel shenanigans, it’s fascinating enough. Good episode! And very funny! The romance between Vash and Picard is just kinda alright but the other stuff is funny.
Tin Man - TNG 8/10
The Enterprise is going into a first contact situation! They have a Betazoid first contact specialist who Riker has beef with. Apparently, Riker blames him for a first contact gone wrong that resulted in 20 deaths.
This specialist, Tam Elbrun, is kinda insufferable. He gets frustrated easily and seems to be in pain being near others. He’s a Betazoid who’s really psychically resonant. And yeah he immediately knows Riker is NOT happy with him, and it doesn’t go well. He seems unstable, but he can’t turn off is ESP. It’s fascinating.
This episode has an interesting history. It’s actually the adaptation of a short story, called The Tin Man! Apparently the writers were compelled to adapt their 1979 short story into a Star Trek episode after watching Samaritan Snare from the previous season and “considering it the most abysmall piece of Star Trek Media they’ve ever seen”. They spittin’ though, that episode fucking blows. Knowing all this makes me like it more.
Some complications and interesting parts. The Romulans are nearby, cause they consider this to be their territory. Also, Tam Elbrun is in communication with this weird creature they’re trying to contact, who they call Tin Man. He can communicate even that far.
And Tam befriends Data! He can’t read Data, Data is… silent to him, so he finds a respite being near him. Plus, he’s different. Just like him. He became friends with Troi for the same reason, she was different. I love how easily Data makes friends.
Anyways he asks the Tin Man to blow the Romulans up, cause they were going to kill it. The blast almost destroys the Enterprise too, but holy fuck he just murdered those Romulans. I doubt that’s going to come back to bite us.
Turns out, the Tin Man is called Gomtuu. And it wants to be here at this old star, cause it’s going to go super nova, and it wants to die.
This is an interesting episode! But my thoughts so far is like, it’s a really cool story, and pretty okay character moments but it’s mostly about this dude, Tam. I like it, but I don’t have much to talk about.
This alien ship, Gumtoo, is really cool. Big meaty boy who’s crew died many years ago and it has no reason to live anymore. They also do this cool effect where a chair grows out of its meat. They did that by melting a wax chair then reversing it.
Anyways cool, kinda touching and very fascinating episode. Felt a bit less Treky at times, and the stuff with Riker was NEVER wrapped up, but it’s still good! Here’s a cute scene with Troi and Data.
Hollow Pursuits - TNG I don’t fucking know/10. Maybe like 4/10 and also a 7/10 at the same time.
This is episode 69 of TNG. I cannot fucking believe they made this episode 69 of all episodes.
HEY LOOK IT’S BARCLAY!!! I know NOTHING about this guy, except that he’s extremely divisive. And as soon as the episode starts wow I know EXACTLY WHAT KINDA GUY THIS GUY IS HOLY SHIT
It starts with him being an edgy cool badass holding off Geordi and Riker alone then flirting with Troi, who is sooooo into him cause he’s soooo cool. They say he’s bad at work but he doesn’t need to conform to your rules, maaan. End program. Leave the Holodeck Now he has to go back to where, where he’s fucking shit at it, and he’s a sniveling loser no one likes who is shit at his job. omfg. I cannot believe we’re going here with this guy.
Seasons ago, I said “I wonder how often people fuck things in the Holodeck. Do you think it’s against the rules to make someone and then fuck them in the Holodeck?” and people went “WELL ABOUT THAT….”
It’s sleezy and awful but obviously it’s supposed to be. Anyways, the crew hates him. They give him a mean nickname, and he’s kinda seclusive and awkward. Picard thankfully is like “Hey cut that shit out. We don’t give up on anyone, try harder to work with him.”
We get into some weird conversations while watching Star Trek. Here’s a statement out of context.
Anyways this is a really interesting episode. If it didn’t have the holodeck sex stuff honestly I’d find it SUPER fascinating. Barclay is an awkward loser who “doesn’t fit in”, and everyone is immediately treating him like shit (Data, Picard, and Guinan call this out). This would be a good episode on how not to treat the misfit if he wasn’t ACTUALLY kind of a weird creep who keeps putting off his work (which might actually be harmful, it turns out) to be an Edgy Cool Badass in the holodeck all the time.
Geordi walks in on Barclay sword fighting the captain and is like “uhhhhhhhhh”. They end up talking and kinda working it out. He asks Barclay to get some fuckin’ therapy, and we get to see Troi do some therapy! It’s nice to see her actually do her job but WOW THE ALARM BELLS ARE RINGING THE ENTIRE TIME CAUSE WE KNOW THIS GUY WANTS TO CLIMB IN HER PANTS.
She gives him a hardon and he leaves to go masturbate in the holodeck, while the Enterprise is falling apart and they kinda need his help. I dunno why suddenly the other engineers are incompetent and they NEED Barclay for this but murr.
….I keep walking right into this. Troi, Riker, and Geordi walk in on more Holodeck shenanigans. Troi: “You’re taking this all too seriously! We can’t delete this, if he needs a fantasy to escape to, it would hurt him so much if we deleted it!”
Me: “Yeah Troi would you say that when you find out he’s been fucking you?”
EVERYONE ELSE IN THE CALL: dead silence, then quiet snickering
Me: “Oh fucking god dammit we’re about to see that happen aren’t we”
She looks so fucking outraged. I would be too. To anyone reading, do not use me as a spank bank without my permission. Riker’s grin is a dick move but tbf she DID just tell him to put up with seeing himself as a weak little man.
Anyway, the actual episode and Star Trek comes back and Barclay saves the day by figuring out the problem. Barclay learns that he can do it, he gets some confidence, and he doesn’t need to fuck a Holodeck Troi anymore. And then he leaves, just as he finds his confidence and builds a connection. WAIT NO TWIST ENDING THAT WAS THE HOLODECK OHHH SNAP.
I don’t know what to rate this episode. It’s almost impossible to rate it. Genuinely, I feel this would be better if it did one of two things. One, don’t have Barclay actually be a creep, or two, have something more happen to him for his creepy behavior. He just got off scott free, cause there “aren’t any regulations against this”. In the end, there’s a lot to like, but also a lot to not like. I could give it a 5 but tbh I feel that doesn’t fit this episode, so I’ll give it both a 4 and a 7 at the same time. It’s not AMAZING in either direction, but there’s some enjoyment to get here.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Overall a generally… good! That first episode is seriously almost an 11 though.
Next time we got the final bits of Season 3! God this season is so good wtf
See y’all next time!
The Most Toys - TNG 10/10
In this episode, some aliens kidnap Data. A guy who I can only a Weirdo Billionare Tech Bro stages his death, and then kidnaps him to keep him as a museum piece. He’s a collector, collects… toys. Like Data, who is not a person. He’s an android! So he’s also a toy to keep! He’s kept alongside things like a nearly extinct animal, a baseball card, some ancient art piece. All unique.
Wow that’s fucked up! And he agrees. “Oh yes, I am evil, immoral. I’ve learned to deal with it!”
Meanwhile everyone thinks Data is fucking dead. It’s interesting, when the ship explodes with Data in it, Worf is the only one to cry out, a solem quiet, “Data…”. Of all the characters? It’s interesting. Worf and Data don’t interact enough.
Good Geordi moments here too as he’s wracked with a kind of grief. His best friend! Damn.
I can already tell this is gonna be a good episode. Lots of great character moments. I love how Geordi is practically bargaining to try and find a REASON for his best friend’s death. How Data talks with the Rich Boy’s caretaker like “Ah I see, he owns us both.” Picard reading the book he gave to Data, solemnly.
This guest actor is great. What a fucking shithead. He plays the part so well, you wanna PUNCH this dude. He’s a very childish brat, with BIG crypto-bro energy, especially when his friend shows up like jfc.
I like how Geordi sleeps in his uniform.
I love how Geordi realizes there was tampering. Basically, Data didn’t follow protocol EXACTLY. And Geordi noticed it cause he’s his bestie.
Okay, one thing I did NOT expect from this episode is how it handles Worf, and it does it so well. I would not have expected this. Very smart of them to go this route! Basically, so the way it works: Worf is given Data’s job, cause SOMEONE needs to do it. This is the second time he’s replaced a dead friend. And when Picard goes “Data, please- oh.” You just… it tugs at the heart strings as Worf recoils a bit.
The most brutal death in possible all of Star Trek, as her molecules are ripped apart as she’s still aware.
An amazing end too. Did Data mean to fire the gun? He said he would. But he can’t… he’s programmed not to, right? …But the gun was discharging when he was transported away. It’s an amazing ending. This episode was really good, pretty fucked up at times, but great great GREAT character moments. Once again, Data with another 10/10 episode.
Sarek - TNG 9/10
SAREK RETURNS! Last seen in TOS, he’s now an old dude, married again with another human. He has a type! It’s nice to see another bridge towards TOS (and good TOS at that). We’ve really just had this, a brief reference to Naked Time, and McCoy showing up for a single inconsequential scene.
Sarek has been working towards this goal for 93 years, and he’s… a bit testy about it, for a Vulcan. He’s shockingly emotional. His stewards made him seem a weak old man, and are very overprotective… which is kinda sussy.
At the same time, Wesley and Geordi are… weirdly grumpy too. Uh oh! Good setup!
Second time we see Data playing violin! I see they replaced O’Brien on cello though. I wondered out loud if Brent Spiner could actually play Violin, like Riker’s actor can actually play trombone. But then I saw him actually play and went “lol nope”. Dude was trying to saw that thing in half.
Amazingly funny moment here. Riker: “Have you noticed people have become more testy lately?” Worf: “I haven’t noticed” the two of them walk into a bar fight “….I see what you mean” immediately uppercuts someone running at him
Anyway, Sarek has a disease that makes him have emotional outbursts in his old age. It, and his telepathy, is making it spread to others. It’s weird seeing a Vulcan… have outbursts. But it’s very interesting, very engaging! We’ve got basically NO Vulcans for all three seasons. And finally, we see em and they’re done very well.
In the end, there are two options. Give up, lose 93 years of progress…. or mind meld. Hell yeah! Mind meld with the Vulcan slowly losing his mind, that is a GREAT IDEA :D And we get two of the best Trek actors of all time get to overact like CRAZY. I LOVE seeing Sir Patrick Stewart act out so much oh my god. He says some WILD stuff. And he even brings up Spock!! Apparently there was a taboo about mentioning TOS characters.
In the end, this episode is a great sendoff to a cool TOS character. Apparently a lot of it was also based on how Roddenberry was… declining at this point.
Ménage à Troi - TNG 8/10
THIS FUCKING EPISODE NAME, JESUS CHRIST. But yeah, TIME FOR THE RETURN OF SPACE’S MOST MESSY WOMAN!
This episode starts with Riker obliterating a Ferengi, and I was mostly excited to see Ferengi on the ENTERPRISE! Two seasons ago that’d be weird. But they’re now here, just kinda… chillin’. They’re still trashy themselves, and I love seeing them kinda be a bit more… like themselves. One of them is played by Neelix, actually. Lwuxanna is weirdly racist, but tbf the Ferengi ARE kinda misogynist and weird.
Troi is embarassed but Riker is into it.
The main conceit of this episode is that Lwuxanna is being the Aging Jewish Mom that she is and keeps telling Troi no you’re NOT happy with your life! Which is gross and manipulative b ut it sure does fit the Trashiest Woman In Space. “YOU SHOULD BE STARTING A FAAAAMILY”. Anyway, Troi goes down to Betazed for shore leave and Riker is forced to join her by Picard, because turnabout is fair play, number one.
They’re not dating right now why are they making out? Are they just FWB right now?
Anyways they’re kidnapped by the Ferengi, and this happens.
Did you know the Ferengi women are all naked? Yeah that’s uh…. that’s a thing!!!
Anyways the B plot is that Wesley was accepted to Starfleet! And that means he’s going to leave! The A plot and B plot feel liek they aren’t related in any way, cause they’re not!
Lwuxanna tries to seduce the Ferengi while also trying to not vomit. She’s a coward. And then Riker tricks a Ferengi to let him out by offering to play Chess of all things. This is mostly… comedic and funny tbh, like, they’re kidnapped and it’s kinda dangerous. But it’s mostly hilarious and I kinda love it.
And then Lwuxanna does Oo-mox on the ferengi, AKA she gives him a handy.
Anyways its all for naught as Neelix-Ferengi is like “you’re being controlled by that FEEEMALLLLE. Let me do Science on her instead to try and gain her psychic powers”. Riker needs to be clever to help them escape, and he does it in a very smart way. It’s good! And the Wesley thing fits in here, as he figures out Riker’s message, and decides to give up on going to Starfleet to help out. Cute.
Over all, this episode isn’t anything MAGICAL but very… fun. And Wesley is promoted, whoo.
And we get this classic image, too!
Transfigurations - TNG 5/10
This episode starts with Geordi striking out again, and I cannot watch this fucking man strike out again. It’s the same woman he struck out with in That One Episode, too.
Anyways they find some guy nearly dead, and they need to connect Geordi’s brain with this guy to stabilize him. After he’s done, he checks out and gets to leave. Geordi is suddenly more confident and feels great, which is… worrying. And also he flirts with the girl and it goes well which lol?
Anyways this guy heals himself, he has some weird genetic thing where he heals from almost anything. AND he can heal others! He heals our boy O’Brien after he injurs himself in the holodeck in a fucking kayak.
This episode has a LOT of technobabble which makes me zone out a bit. It even has MEDICAL technobabble which mostly makes me laugh.
Anyways this patient is kinda nice and friendly, but also Doc Crusher is getting a crush on him and I’m just like “NO. DO NOT FUCK YOUR PATIENTS.”
Over all this episode is kinda… nothing. It’s not TERRIBLE but it’s not very interesting. Even the Geordi part becomes unrelated, Geordi is like “YOU DID THIS TO ME” and Space Jesus is like “no you had it within you the whole time” and its just annoying. The most interesting part is where Worf gets Worf’d SO HARD he’s thrown over the railing in the shuttle bay and breaks his neck, fucking dying.
This episode is literally just Space Jesus, and I don’t give a fuck about Space Jesus.
Best of Both Worlds - TNG 9.5/10
This episode has been built up so much. Let’s hope it’s worth it.
The cold open is powerful, as they arrive at a colony’s distress beacon to find the colony just kinda doesn’t fucking exist anymore.
This is building up Riker in a fun way to start. There’s this hotshot new Commander, Commander Shelby, who is gunning to take Riker’s spot. Riker was offered yet another captaincy, and he hasn’t said anything yet, but she’s trying to take his job.
I love how everyone is like “Riker, this will HURT YOUR CAREER, you should move up the ladder!” when we know he’s still gonna be here for like four more seasons lmfao
The Borg are here! And they are threatening Picard, demanding he come aboard or they’ll aboard his ship. They try to defend and attack and are just… failing. They can do nothing.
OUR FIRST LEFORGE ROLL! :D
There’s not much here to talk about, it’s extremely exciting and tense. Very well acted and written!
Eventually, Picard is kidnapped and Riker is put into command. The Borg say their FAMOUS line, “Opposition is Useless”, or something like that. And they’re going to take him and use him as their voice, basically.
I like how they send Beverly to attack the Borg in the Away Team. Why? Cause Gates Macfadden wanted to fire a gun. She, quote, “thought it looked fun”. Hell yeah. Should Doc Crusher be in this extremely dangerous spot? You can maybe argue she’s an expert in cybernetics so it fits, cause she is. But who cares lol it’s cool to see her in action spaces for once, and be allowed to do something that’s not Simp For Space Jesus or some shit.
And she has a good line! “We need to think of this from the mosquito’s point of view. We can’t take them down, but if we sting at a good spot… they might just stop to itch.”
YO WHEN DID LOCUTUS GET HERE HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE PICARD THAT’S CRAZY
Ha ha ha go fuck yourself
So yeah it’s a very good episode. Riker being weirdly grumpy most of the episode wasn’t the best tbh, I didn’t love that. But it sets up this big cliffhanger in an amazing way. And this was very new. No season finale did this back then. Now they do this shit ALL the time. Fuck, SNW basically ends in a similar huge twist cliffhanger. But this SET THAT STANDARD. It’s famous for a reason. It wasn’t PERFECT but we’ll see how it closes….
in several weeks. Look, they had to wait MONTHS back in 1990. I only gotta wait a few weeks, cause of GDQ. See y’all then!