LizstarTrek - TNG Season 4

Every Sunday my Twitch subs and I watch Star Trek in my Discord. Here are my reviews and thoughts on each of the episodes as I see it. If you’re curious about a nerd’s views on Star Trek episodes, please read on, I go quite in depth with some of this episodes! I’ve watched some Star Trek before but not all of it!

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Future Imperfect - TNG 8/10

This episode starts with Riker playing the trombone, badly.

It’s his borfday! And for his borfday, Picard got him an away mission :D On that mission some gas knocks him out. He wakes up, 16 years later.

Time for an Alternate Future story! Riker wakes up captain of the Enterprise. A virus caused him to lose all of his memory. A Ferengi is an ensign. Picard is an admiral, and shows up on a Romulan warbird. It’s VERY interesting, I love episodes like this ngl, even if it’s NOTHING like the actual future.

It’s also kinda heartbreaking and crushing. He DOESN’T REMEMBER HIS SON. “You… don’t remember me, do you?” GOD THIS CRUSHES ME. He doesn’t remember his son, or his WIFE, who passed away two years ago. Riker’s actor is KILLING it here, god, like this is KILLING him. He’s so soft spoken but clearly breaking over all of this.

AND the stakes are high. The Romulans are here to make peace! Riker has been INSTRUMENTAL in fostering relations, and the Romulan ambassador is here to finalize peace dealings on the Enterprise itself, a great moment! Oh fuck it’s Tomalak.

It you don’t remember Tomalak, he was in a few previous episodes. VERY untrustworthy dickhead. Riker is not convinced. Everyone is like “Uh dude PLAY IT COOL Tomalak has changed” but Riker can NOT get over his 16 year old prejudices.

Lots of touching moments amongst the tension too. I cannot specify how well acted and written this is. Cracks begin to show, though… The computers have been faulty for 30 hours. It would never have taken Geordi more than 4 hours to fix it before. “You are not capable of that level of incompetence”, great line. Data can’t compute fast enough. And worst of all, the picture of his wife? It’s Minuet, the hologram woman Riker fell in love with in an early episode.

Everything falls apart. It was all a Romulan hologram trick to get him to spill the beans. Good twist! The Romulans kidnapped Riker and simulated EVERYTHING from his mind, except one thing… his son, Jean-luc, is a real human boy kidnapped by the Romulans. The two of them surprise Tomalak and manage to escape! Good action!

The sudden shift in concept twists the episode on it’s head, but I saw the double twist coming… this is ALSO a fantasy. The boy lets a freudian slip slip, and Riker sees through his tricks. The Romulans weren’t real either. Basically, this kid was left here by his mom, and given a holodeck to play out any of his fantasies. His mom, and all his people were killed. He just wanted someone REAL to interact with, to be a friend, or even a father figure.

It’s trying to be cute. And emotional. It REALLY isn’t. “My name is actually Barash.” “To me, you’ll always be Jean-luc”. NO. THAT’S TOO MUCH. It’s WAY too silly lmfao. It was SO engaging and then it lost me SO HARD. But hey, at least this guy is now Riker’s adopted son, who’ll be here forever! :D Frakes’ acting is SO GOOD? He does SO GOOD in this episode but wow that ending fell a bit flat. Still almost ENTIRELY good.

Final Mission - TNG 3/10

It’s Wesley’s last episode as a regular! Wil Wheaton wanted out of Trek so he’d have a chance to work on other things (how did THAT pan out, Wheaton???) Does he get a good send off?

Wesley is accepted into the Acadamy! Apparently, a “space has opened up”. I can only assume some child got fucking killed, because that seems to happen a lot in the Federation.

Uh oh, some terrible shit is happening at some other planet and the Enterprise Is The Only Ship In Range (take a drink), so Picard and Wesley have to go with a schlubby captain of some shuttle craft to deal with some miners, their original mission, while the Enterprise saves some lies. They go with the Sclub Captain, and shit IMMEDIATELY hits the fan, and they go down and crash into a moon that BARELY allows life.

Oh no, we crashed on Southern California! It sure DOES barely allow life! How can we EVER survive?!

They have no water. No food. Things look grim.

Back on the Enterprise, the issue is basically some fucking dickheads (I’m betting some Pacled) left a garbage barge to float through space. It’s so radioactive and gross it’s bad for the Enterprise to be near it, even with shields up. I imagine if it wasn’t the Pacled it’s prolly the fucking 90s trash ball from Futurama.

The three survivors of the crash head for the mountains. Turns out Cpt. Schlub is sneaking water rations without telling them D:. Oh wait turns out he’s DRINKING ALCOHOL, which is a VERY bad idea in a desert but what do I know. Picard and Wesley find out and chastise him, and he gets grumpy as they all explore a cave.

They find water. Cpt. Schlub shoots on the force field around it, and it causes some kind of disturbance. Rocks fall, everyone dies. And by that I mean Picard shoved Wesley out of the way and gets hit by a bunch of rocks.

God they sure do love to almost kill Picard in this season, huh? We made jokes about this. “Wesley… I’m not going to make it…. you’re the captain of the Enterprise now.” “Liz no, Roddenberry isn’t writing anymore” “CAN YOU IMAGINE RODDENBERRY, ON HIS DEATHBED, DEMANDING THEY KILL OFF PICARD AND ‘MAKE ME THE CAPTAIN- I MEAN MAKE WESLEY THE CAPTAIN.” Picard actually just says “you need to control Cpt. Schlub”

All the stuff with the Enterprise towing the garbage scow feels unnecessary and like it’s just cause they didn’t have enough of the A plot so they had to force a B plot that never moves at any speed until the A plot does.

What a surprise, Cpt. Schlub refuses to listen to Wesley and just does shit he wants to do impatiently. This pisses off the guardian again. Schlub tells Wesley to divert the guardian and distract it while he shoots the water. Wesley basically… doesn’t do that and just lets this dude get killed, sealed away by the guardian.

The Enterprise manage to make it, with just “ten seconds away from lethal radiation poisoning”. Did you know, if you manage to get away from radiation ten seconds before it becomes lethal, you’ll be 100% fine? :D

This episode is trying to do an emotional thing, with Picard and Wesley talking. Wesley says these past three years have been truly wonderful to him. It doesn’t hit well enough tbh.

“No one knows this captain, but I need to tell you” Me, interjecting: “I’M GAY.”

Anyways he basically tells Picard he’s his real dad, it’s trying to be cute. But the whole “DON’T QUIT! YOU CAN GET OUT OF… DYING OF A CONCUSSION!” Wil Wheaton is trying his best. But it just DOESN’T land. AND THEN THEY… CUT AWAY, CUT BACK, AND THEY DO THE FUCKING SCENE AGAIN? They just, keep trying?! This makes the previous scene, with Wesley’s “I WILL FIND A WAY TO SAVE YOU!” speech fall even FLATTER.

It REALLY feels like this episode is padding itself and it already feels SO LONG. It’s kinda boring? We were just making shit up to make it more entertaining. “Wesley. Listen, I may not make it…” “Captain, no-“ “LISTEN TO ME. You will have to drink my blood when I die.”

In the end, Wesley figures it out because he’s The Chosen One Genius or whatever and gets to the water. Why is it every time Wesley has to do something and he succeeds he does it just by Tapping On The Computer Good? Whatever. PICARD THIRSTY. NEED WA-WA.

WESLEY HAS GAINED ACCESS TO THE CUM FOUNTAIN. PICARD IS SAVED.

I’m not so sure about that, Picard.

Did Wesley get a good send off? No. Acting was good at least. NEXT EPISODE.

The Loss - TNG 3.5/10

A Troi episode! Two seasons ago I would have DREADED this. Is this good?

It starts with Troi being a therapist. Trying to help a woman through her fear of death, after her husband died. It’s nice to see her doing her job and not sitting in a chair going “I sense great Asshole in them”. TBF she hasn’t done that in AGES but she did it so much at first it still makes me really happy to see her do anything that is NOT THAT.

Some weird shit is appearing and disappearing on scanners, as Troi begins to have MASSIVE headache, which eventually causes her to pass out.

REALLY GOOD LINE ALERT. Data lists off the time it’ll take before they get there, and Riker is like “what, no seconds?” “I’ve noticed some impatience from the rest of the crew when I specify down to seconds. If you would like though :D” “No. No that’s okay.”

Some Weird Shit is happening. The Enterprise is being pulled. Headaches are happening. Engines fail. And Troi has lost her telepathy D: Scary.

Oh hey, first mention of the Breen, I’m sure they won’t be important a long, long time from now.

Ohhh I’m happy this episode is going here, but also surprised. Everyone is worried for her, reaching out to her, telling her to get help from other therapists, and she just gets… angry. “I’ve seen this. The worst part is when something like this happens, not how the victim changes, how everoyne AROUND them change. Step away. Or coddle them. It’s insulting”. Damn. She is VERY angry, maybe too angry though, it feels weird cause usually Troi would be so understanding. Also she’s the most coddling fucking character in this series. Hypocritical much, Troi?

Troi throws herself into her work to distract her. Ironically the first person she sees is like “oh I feel like a new woman after I realized I was JUST USING MY WORK TO DISTRACT ME :D”. That is… a little heavy handed.

Troi is so defensive. Assuming the worst out of people, because she can’t read them anymore. I get it. But it just gets… worst. “I KNOW I TOLD YOU AN HOUR AGO THAT IF THIS NEVER GETS BETTER I’LL LIVE WITH IT, BUT NOW YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT I’LL HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT IF IT NEVER GETS BETTER? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU.”

Jesus, this episode is doing its best to hit fucking hard, but…. I don’t like it? “I AM DISABLED, AND ABLED PEOPLE TELLING ME I CAN LIVE WITH IT IS INSULTING. ANYWAYS TIME FOR ME TO BE MEAN TO EVERYONE SOME MORE.”

I really don’t like mean angsty Troi? She’s not doing it well??? She’s lost her empathic ability, but also her actual fucking empathy? This episode feels way too rushed, like she’s speedrunning the five stages of grief. I think the idea of a telepath losing their powers is a great idea. And it’s a great way to do parallels to actual disability. But all this, with her going “NONE OF YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO LIVE WITH A DISABILITY ALSO FUCK YOU FOR TRYING TO BE NICE BUT ALSO WHY AREN’T YOU ALL BEING NICE” while Geordi is there is like, what the actual fuck

It just feels poorly written.

God, Guinan, please save this episode. Be a better counselor than Troi. Guinan’s like “I’m gonna try to take over Ship’s Counselor cause you’re retiring :D I’d be good at it.” YES YOU WOULD. PLEASE DO.

Time to Raise Them Stakes. This is a… “Cosmic String Fragment”, some kind of thing that is drawing the Enterprise, and some interstellar dimensional being into it. I’m kinda checked out ngl. I like how Troi is just packing her things while they’re being drawn into this thing, about to be torn apart.

Why is Picard sitting here while they’re about to die, staring at this crystal, and spinning it around in his hands? Is it his FIDGET CRYSTAL? I wish I had a gif of his spinning this crystal lmao. Picard tells Troi “look I know you are in a bad state right now but I need you to remanifest your fucking powers and save us, or at least do something cause you’re our only hope. This episode is about YOU, so you need to solve this. That’s how Trek works.”

She solves it. That’s how Trek works. And the cosmic entities going into the string brings her Back To Normal. Yay status quo!

This episode was meh. I think it was a good idea but the pacing and writing were just bad. Maybe I’d react to this differently if I had a disability, though, I’m not sure.

Data’s Day - TNG 8/10

IT’S A DATA EPISODE! Also a kind of O’Brien episode, you’ll see. The episode is basically a letter Data is sending to Maddox. (Maddox is the dude who wanted to kill Data, don’t worry about it)

This episode introduces Keiko, O’Brien’s fiance! Data introduced the two of them and is helping them with their wedding, but she wants to cancel the wedding. Data’s like “Oh would that make you happy? :)” “Uh, yes?” “And it would make O’Brien happy to?” “Yes, probably” “Then good :D”

Data waltzes up to O’Brien. “I have good news. Keiko does not want to marry you :D” “WHAT?!”

Holy fucking shit, Data. (I feel this is a little too alien EVEN for Data, I think Data understands humans enough to not fuck this up THAT bad.)

Anyways, this episode is basically just Data going about his day and just talking about how he’s trying to understand humanity. And how he’s very bad at it. “They often give friendly jabs to each other. I still do not get it.” immediately afterwards he calls Geordi a fucking Lunkhead, and it made me laugh so hard I cried.

But yeah, lots of wandering around and seeing what’s going on in the Enterprise, which is nice.

YAY FIRST TIME WE’RE SEEING SPOT :D Spot will change species and gender many, many times don’t worry about it. Spot is cute. Spot is a cat, so of course Spot is cute. (My brother named our cat Spot after this Spot actually)

Here’s an ADORABLE scene where Crusher teaches Data how to tap dance. It’s all them, too. And Gates McFadden is tapdancing IN HEELS. Christ on the cross. LOL “DATA YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THIS WAS FOR THE WEDDING?!” “Why is that important?” “There’s… not a lot of tap dancing at weddings.”

“Data, smile more.”

Anyways, Trek starts happening. A Vulcan ambassador is here and leads them into the neutral zone to try to contact the Romulans. Something Goes Wrong and she Ambassador died being teleported. You couldn’t fucking do ANYTHING to get me in one of those god damn things.

Turns out she was a Romulan Spy. Data figures it out by going on a “wild choose chase” =w= Good ol’ Data. The Romulans admit it and go “okay leave now :)” They leave now. Also the wedding is happening now :D This just sets Keiko up as being flighty which is a little unfortunate lol

They are cute tho.

The episode ends with Data taking over Night Watch. I’d like to be on Night Watch. I get to hang with Data, and no episodes take place during the Night Watch so it’s ALWAYS chill.

Anyways this episode is cute. Nothing AMAZING, or emotionally powerful. But it’s a cute slice of life, which is a thing you don’t get very often with Trek!

The Wounded - TNG 10/10

The first Cardassian episode ever! Apparently a year prior, a treaty was made for a long war. So I guess during seasons 1 and 2 we were at war with the Cardassians? Okay. I feel this shoulda been mentioned before lol

Also according to them, they’re ALLIES now? Though Worf doesn’t trust them.

Makes sense because when they show up for a basic meeting, they just straight up fucking attack. The Enterprise easily takes em out though, and they’re like “Uh yeah we fired upon you cause apparently we’re at war now, what with you BLOWING UP OUR SPACE STATION the other day??”

Good cold open.

It’s true. A Human captain has gone rogue and blew up a space station. The Enterprise goes on a hunt while the Cardassians come aboard to watch and help guide. While doing research, they find out a single person onboard was under the command of the rogue captain once…. Chief O’Brien.

That’s right, STEALTH O’BRIEN EPISODE! Two in a row! :D

As someone who never watched this episode but watched a lot of DS9, these helmets look so fucking stupid.

The Cardassians aren’t… quite there yet. This IS the first time they’re here. WTF is with that beard? Those horrible outfits that look so uncomfortable? They’re not there yet. One of them is BLOND?! This dude up here is LITERALLY played by the same guy who plays Gul Dukat and he looks SO WRONG.

Anyways O’Brien is being a fucking dick to the fascist space lizards. Wow O’Brien, not cool. O’Brien doesn’t even seem to REALIZE how angry he is at them. He’s like “why can’t people get over it, logically? The war is over?” “How do YOU feel?” “Oh I’m fine. :3” Meanwhile “I WILL NOT ASSOCIATE WITH YOU.” lmao

The rogue ship is attacking some Cardassian civilian, and they get to watch it happen from far away scanners. They watch the rogue ship kill everyone, and can’t get there in time. Picard is doing EVERYTHING he can, but the Cardassians are… obviously EXTREMELY hurt. Meanwhile O’Brien keeps making excuses.

I REALLY like this, what it has to say about othering others and dehumanizing them so hard you’d ANY excuse to justify harming them. Any excuse. It’s hard to let go of misgivings, when you’ve been taught to hate for so long.

And you become numb to it. Like O’Brien became numb to killing, after that war. He admits it openly, as he realizes it. He doesn’t hate the Cardassians. He hates what he became because of them.

The Cardassians are so… off. But it’s also interesting. They genuinely are not NEARLY as menacing or Clearly Evil as they usually are. They are VERY Human. They don’t want war, they’ve also just become accustomed to it. Or at least, that’s what they show. This captain, Gul Macet, is like “I am not the warmongering type. I am not for it.” and I just imagine him going “Now let me tell you about this asshole, Gul Dukat, my GOD”

This is Captain Maxwell. He KNOWS that science facility was ACTUALLY a military facility! I mean, OBVIOUSLY. That’s how the Cardassians work! He had to act NOW! CLEARLY you understand, Picard, you’re a soldier, you were out here too fighting them!

It’s a man taken too far by his hate. It’s done very well. Killing 700 people can be justified. He had to do what had to be done. And anyone who DISAGREES with him… well, Picard is CLEARLY becoming a stuffy bureaucrat now.

I find it VERY interesting this is happening right as Bush is justifying a war in the Gulf. Very interesting!!

You can tell Picard understand. He’s DISGUSTED, but he understand. It’s all very well done. Maxwell, the rogue captain, ignored Picard escorting him home and goes to kill more Cardassians cause OH BOY MORE MURDER :D THAT’LL JUSTIFY IT ALL! O’Brien is here to try and help! He’ll transport on using Techno Babble That’s Convenient, and talk to Maxwell.

God. “WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS WAR?!” “…Sir, the war is over?” “The Cardassians LIVE for war!” “That’s what everyone thinks about their enemy.” “But WE’RE not like that! We don’t attack manned outposts!” UHHH. YOU JUST DID THAT BUDDY. It’s VERY well done, often times this kind of hypocrisy is done with someone who’s trying to be a GOOD guy, who you’re relating to. In this case, you DO STILL relate to him. He’s broken. His wife and children were killed by the Cardassians.

God this is REALLY good?

O’brien talks him down with a song. It’s a great moment.

And Picard makes it clear. He wants peace. He doesnt’ want to hurt. But look. You all WERE dealing up weapons right on our border, that was actually obvious. We WILL be watching. And then it plays out with the DS9 theme which is fascinating.

This episode is great. And it cements O’Brien as a great character. Hmm, maybe we should give that guy a leading roll on another show~

FINAL THOUGHTS

A lul in the early part, some not great stuff between some GREAT episodes. Excited for next time =w= still a good season so far.

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Devil’s Due - TNG 8.5/10

This episode starts in the best way. With more Data. Specifically, Data doing a bomb-ass acting job as Ebenezer Scrooge.

That is some good shit.

Anyways the actual episode starts, and the Enterprise has to rescue a rescue team who’s being attacked by a mob who claims the world is going to be destroyed tomorrow. Turns out, they believe they’ve sold their souls to the Devil, who is supposed to return. Oh boy. This episode might Go Places. I hope it does.

Basically, a thousand years ago, the Devil promised a thousand years of peace and prosperity. Oh, only a thousand, uh oh, we out of years. After that time is up, she’ll be back to enslave them for selling their souls to the devil.

Oh hey babe. What’re your pronouns?

She claims to not only be Ardra, the devil of these people, but also the devil for EVERY culture. Including the Klingons!

This is Fek’lhr, who tortures the souls of the dishonorable. Upon seeing her, Worf IMMEDIATELY is really to fucking deck her across the face and fight her, which is possibly the most Klingon thing I’ve ever seen.

Leaving Data behind to look behind Ardra’s documents, they’re trying to find anything to explain who she is and how they can stop her. This entire episode, she basically flirts HEAVILY with Picard. It’s really funny because she claims to be the actual devil and all the other devils in the universe, which are a LOT of men. So she’s genderqueer and trying to jump into Picard’s pants, which like, hype. And then she shows up on the Enterprise.

Sorry mommy, I’ll do better next time.

Lots of stuff about how shitty religion is, and how it’s often a source of fear that is used to control and exploit innocents. Christ, when did Star Trek get so WOKE?

omfg Ardra teleports to Picard’s room while he’s sleeping in lingerie, she is SO FUCKING HORNY. “OH COME PICARD, YOU KNOW YOU FIND ME TANTALIZING”. Is this actually Lwaxana Troi in disguise????? She offers that she can fuck him in ways he can’t even IMAGINE, like as Troi. Which is DEEPLY uncomfy, and shout outs to Picard just CLEARLY being EXTREMELY done with this shit. She does NOT appreciate him saying no to her climbing in his pants, though, and spends a good while just fucking with him. Teleporting him around, as well as teleporting the Enterprise.

Oh shit, they found out she teleported it away using Z-Particle readings, some nonsense bullshit they just came up with! Take a drink!

COURT CASE EPISODE TIME! Time to beat her in court with loopholes and bullshit! :D But there’s a twist. If they loose, Picard has to fuck Ardra. Oh no. How horrible for you, Picard.

The case is not going well. This woman basically has Q powers, and is turning herself into things and causing tremors and all kinds of fun stuff. This is a fun goofy episode. In the end, while things are looking grim, Geordi comes through. Using those Z-Particles, they find a cloaked ship that’s been doing all kinds of fancy shit with technology so that this con-woman can pretend to be Ardra and gain riches from the planet, not to mention so she can gain Picard’s dick.

They capture her ship, and thwart her, and she’s kidnapped, promising that they haven’t seen the last of her. God I wish we hadn’t. She never comes back, but she SHOULD HAVE.

This was fun. Goofy in a fun way, which is a thing that really fits Trek. Also has a lot to say about religion which I agree with, but I’m sure it pissed off a lot of people in 1991. Also, OBVIOUSLY Ardra isn’t actually Satan, because there’s ALREADY Satan, we’ve seen him in TAS, where he befriended Kirk and taught him how to do magic!

Clues - TNG 7.5/10

Our episode starts with more Dixon Hill fun! Basically the crew are relaxing after some hard missions, and Guinan is visiting Picard to find out what he does to relax. Which, again, is to be in Dixon Hill mystery novels where people are shot at. She doesn’t get it.

She looks fucking fantastic though.

While going to explore some nearby planet, they fly through a wormhole by accident, and everyone is knocked unconscious except Data. Apparently they were out for 30 seconds and went .54 parsecs, about a day’s travel. Riker is like “It’s a good thing we didn’t get thrown to the other end of the galaxy”. Yeah good thing. Can you imagine that happening to anyone? That would suck.

The term “minor mystery” is repeated a lot her. Lots of small little mysteries and things that are… Off. The class M planet is actually not class M. Dr. Crusher’s Plant Orbs here show growth of over 24 hours, not 30 seconds. And Data is acting… off. He gives a very strange suggestion and reasoning for a problem, and seems to lie, which worries everyone.

Fun thing, which I’ve noticed recently. We see O’Brien have a team. We’ve been seeing Crusher also have a team. All the characters kinda have a team hovering around them, it makes the ship seem larger.

They find proof Data was lying, and are trying to study him to find out if he’s been compromised. Everyone is worried and scared for Data. The idea that Data could just suddenly… go a little bad, not like EVIL, he’s not actively hurting anyone, but he’s lying. That’s real spooky to them.

And then everyone else starts having issues. Troi is feeling faint. She looks in a mirror, and it’s not her face staring back of her. It IS her face, but it’s as if someone else is wearing her face as a mask. It’s… spooky. A good mystery. Worf is having issues with his wrist. Turns out his was broken and fixed, implying they were all awake actually, but their memories wiped.

This episode is a good mystery, especially with Picard playing out the detective lining all the clues up. They return to the scene of the crime, and Troi is possessed by some alien force.

We get a flashback, and all is explained. They had fallen into a trap by Xenophones, who don’t want anyone to even know they exist. The plan was to knock people out and make them think they fell into a wormhole. But Data fucked that up, what with not being knocked out. They made a deal, and Picard ordered Data to not reveal what happened. But whoops, Picard’s curiosity got the best of him. He just HAD to solve that minor mystery. Picard secures another deal, as long as they leave NO clues. And thus they wake up, none the wiser.

Interesting episode. A good mystery. Pretty fun.

First Contact - TNG 9/10

This one is a cool mystery, but not from Starfleet’s point of view! Instead, it’s from some aliens, on the edge of space travel! This episode begins with Riker being treated by some aliens in a hospital who are like “What the FUCK why does this guy have so many fingers and toes???”

When Riker awakes he’s like “Oh yeah I’m a genetic freak, I’m not normal”. No one believes it. Someone is like “OMG IT’S ALIENS THEY’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL, INFILTRATE OUR GOVERNMENT” which is VERY funny and VERY accurate. I’m sure Riker was just there at the wrong place at the wrong time.

The lead scientist of this society is pushing for warp travel, against conservative voices going “NO TOO FAR”. As she’s working, Picard and Troi show up to instigate first contact. The way they do it is very interesting, very slow and soft, like “with your permission, we’ll show you how different we are.” Apparently they wait for first contact before they’re JUST about to get to space. Well, that is KINDA right. They’re actually accelerating this process to get her help to get Riker back.

Back to Riker, the doctor is grilling him. He’s not a bad guy, he’s trying to help. He’s worried, because the other doctors are whispering and might become… dangerous. Riker is still his PATIENT, though, and dammit, it doesn’t matter if he’s a god damn alien. That’s not important.

Back on the Enterprise, Picard has brought the Chancellor of the planet into the fold, trying to work with him towards first contact. Picard is of course, perfectly Picardy about this. They’re not telling him about Riker, he might be…. wary about that, but the science lady is like “I’LL HELP YOU FIND RIKER, I LOVE ALIENS :D” I like her.

This might be the most accurate episode of Star Trek ever. If there was an alien in one of our hospitals, some would be scared of him. And of course, the opposite would happen. There would absolutely be someone trying to fuck that alien.

As well as accurate. Conservative forces in government who are xenophobic and want to use this to gain power. And, just like in real life, the conservative minister is the most pathetic, dorky looking mother fucker I have ever seen.

To try and force the others to realize the aliens are dangerous, the conservative politician fakes an injury, faking a situation and pretending like the aliens were dangerous so that his people would not go with the aliens. Wow, a conservative FAKING EVIDENCE? NO WAY. The chancellor takes this moment to go “wow. We are NOT ready for First Contact. Krola is proof of that. Please leave, I’m gonna work on education first.”

I understand it. I agree with him tbh. Yale remains on the Enterprise, and they hope everything will go better in the future. Maybe they should also go back and pick up the Horny Nurse, imagine all the sex she could have on the Enterprise. This was a good episode. I really like how different it is, but it works super well. I love the perspective situation.

Galaxy’s Child - TNG 2.5/10

This episode starts with Picard like “Good news, Geordi! The designer of the Enterprise Engines is coming on board!”

And all of us IMMEDIATELY STARTED SCREAMING. NO. NO, GOD NO. NO, NOT THIS EPISODE. NOT ALREADY! WE’RE NOT READY!

I’ve been DREADING this mother fucking episode. So if you don’t remember, a while ago, Geordi had an episode where he used the holodeck to create a replica of the designer of the Enterprise’s engines to help him figure a problem out. He and the program fall in love with each other. And I was like “God please tell me she never shows up again”.

SHE SHOWS UP. AGAIN. Geordi is SO excited to see this girl he’s been crushing on, and formed a weird parasocial relationship with! And she’s IMMEDIATELY hostile like “oh you’re fucking with my schematics. Also I can tell you immediately want to climb in my fucking pants.” Like, she’s great. NONE of this is about her. It’s not her fault at all.

She does eventually realize that Geordi fucked her in the Holodeck and is REASONABLE creeped out by it. Geordi lets it slip, basically. Geordi is very, VERY bad at this. Why is every Geordi episode so bad for him? They make his character more pathetic and more awkward, and also more CREEPY. It’s the creepy that’s the worst.

Anyways, back on the plot, they find a Space Whale. The Sphale notices them and attacks with some electric bullshit that stops them from being able to do anything. Picard is like “what a gorgeous creature” right before it attacks, and as it’s literally about to kill them, he orders them to phaser it just SLIGHTLY to ask it to fuck off. It’s enough to kill it, and the Sphale dies. Picard is CRUSHED about this, he feels terrible about killing it, even though he literally had to or they’d die. But I get it.

OH FUCK WE’RE BACK TO GEORDI. He’s doing some dinner date and is setting the mood lighting, and the soft jazz. Set phasers to cringe. I’m literally going to mute this episode, I cannot watch this. Apparently they have some heart to heart, some shit about “starships being like her children”, but her being “too forceful”. I am so checked out it’s not even funny.

Anyways ignoring that garbage, Sphale’s corpse has a baby in it. They plan to do a c-section to save the baby, but Worf is like “uh this thing’s mom attacked us and almost killed us this is a bad idea”. Your opinions are noted, Worf, but we have to do this.

Back in the B plot (maybe more liek the Z plot), they’re having a heart to heart in a Jefferies tube and she’s trying to put him down and is like “uh. Okay, I’m now getting vibes so you should know I’m married???” and Geordi just scoffs. Why are they so bad at writing Geordi when they need to write him as a main thing to an episode??? He then mumbles to himself at a chess board, like “How could this have gone so wrong? I studied everything about her!” uh. You studied all her papers and read everything about her but like, not her Wikipedia article?

OH NO MR. WORF WAS RIGHT WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT. MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE RAISED SHIELDS OR SOMETHING????

Everyone is holding the Idiot Ball or the Creep Ball today. Hey speaking of the Creep Ball, Dr. Leah discovers the holodeck file DIRECTLY and is UNDERSTANDABLY FUCKING DISGUSTED.

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I’VE BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE AND UNDERSTANDING, BUT YOU’RE JUST GOING TO ASSUME THINGS ABOUT ME WITHOUT HEARING MY SIDE OF IT?” “Is your side of it exactly what I’ve said it was, you being a creep?” “YES BUT THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT.”

These two plots have nothing to do with each other btw, it’s so jarring every fucking time it bounces between them.

btw here’s a fun gif of Geordi rushing in to stop her from finding the AI-made images he’s made of her by typing in “Leah Brahms naked” into Chat GPT.

Anyways, Dr. Brahms and Geordi work out a plan to get the baby off of them. Hey look, the plots are ACTUALLY colliding! They work it out in the end, everything is good, Brahms APOLOGIZES, which is offensive to me, and they end it on good terms. I mean come on, she was being a crazy bitch, Geordi is SUCH a nice guy, she just misunderstood! Finding the version of her that was like “Geordi, I love you, make love to me”.

I hated that. Not much more needs to be said. At least the Sphale part was… okay.

Night Terrors - TNG 5/10

Some kind of lost starfleet ship is found, and the away team beams over. Troi goes with them, as she senses something…. Off. They reach the ship and find out that the entire crew is dead, save for one, a catatonic Betazoid.

All tests seem to show that there was no REASON they did this, but they started to just fucking kill each other. The log talks about mutinies and plots. About how some others were sus, or venting, or whatever.

Troi has some nightmares. In it, some voice is mumbling some madness about the dark and one moon, and Troi shouts “WHERE ARE YOU” while floating in a green void like she’s Superman. This is actually a lot of the episode. Troi just like, trying to reach out psychically to things and then not getting much more than a couple disjointed sentences. It’s… not very engaging.

The OTHER half of this episode is everyone being weirdly angry and pissy at each other. Tensions are high, there talks of spirits. O’Brien claims his wife is cheating on him? The doorbell for Picard’s room is malfunctioning, like there’s a ding dong ditcher. Crusher and Troi are like “Captain, I think what happened on the dead ship is happening here”, as if that wasn’t PAINFULLY OBVIOUS?

They find themselves in a thing called a Tyken’s Rift, some kinda area in space where energy is being sucked away, so they can’t get out. This episode DOES have a few interesting things. Makeup to show people getting tired. But it’s kinda not enjoyable to watch the crew I love be angry at each other and snapping? Also we’ve already had “people not acting like themselves” plots before, though it’s not quite to this same paranoid psychic delusions vibe before. They’re trying to do a kind of… horror thing? Maybe a thriller? It’s spooky, but doesn’t QUITE meet its concept.

I might just be burnt out after the last episode. Someone did call it “Silent Hill: Enterprise” though which is very funny. And there are some good points. I like Picard saying how terrified he is of losing his mental faculties, like he saw happen to his grandfather.

And all the shit happening to the crew is creepy, and interesting! I like this scene, with the corpses waking up around Crusher. She discovers the issue though. They’ve not been able to dream, at all. There’s been no REM sleep at all, so they’ve been hallucinating, and it’s been fucking with them. Basically they’ve been sleep deprivated, and eventually they’ll all go batty. Except for Data, of course, and Troi, who is having nightmares where she floats around and yells out, asking “WHERE ARE YOU?” a lot. Speaking of which, it’s about time for one of those!

Holy SHIT? THIS ALSO HAPPENS? JESUS.

The pacing is really off in this episode, but it has some good scenes?? Like, this feels like the longest episode of my life. The pacing is REAL bad. But there’s a lot to love here? Anyways, Troi realizes her dreams are a message from some other beings trapped on the other side of the rift.

Meanwhile, a mutiny is about to happen in Ten Forward. They begin riots, ready to spread to the rest of the ship, and Guinan puts that shit down immediately, with the highlight of the episode. Just enough to make this boring slog of an episode still okay.

Guinan with a fucking gun.

Anyways Troi gets the message across, they make it out, the day is saved. Every single person on the Enterprise goes to sleep at once which is probably bad but that’s fine. Data is still awake, and literally daddies everyone and is like “I order you to bed”. I imagine he reads a story over the PA system. I like to think it’s “Go The Fuck To Sleep”. That’d be funny.

Over all, it’s okay. I guess.

Identity Crisis - TNG 7.5/10

Oh no. It’s a Geordi episode again. Let’s hope this one is better. So, Geordi was on an away team five years ago with some other people trying to look into some disappearances. Now all the people from that away team are disappearing themselves. The only two left are Geordi and this lady Suzy he used to be good friends with. At least hopefully they’ll avoid any Geordi Relationship Drama this time, right? Oh no, she brings it up, and it’s awkward. Of course it is.

One of the other people who was on that way team is Lt. Hickman, who recently stole a craft and was running to a planet. They chase him to the planet, where they see him fucking explode because he’s going too fast. Solemn start to the episode. Two more shuttles are on the planet though, so it’s time to explore.

Suzy starts to have a weird reaction, weird anxiety attacks, and is taken back. Everyone is a little worried that Geordi might suddenly go haywire on them too, but he seems fine so far. So far this is a good mystery.

Susy starts CRAVING going back to the planet, and then suddenly collapsed, her body morphing into something alien. Good makeup, impressive. Geordi wants to help, looking over the logs of what happened five years ago, and everyone wants him to sit in sick bay, because he may be next. But Geordi wants to help figure out what’s going on, understandably. This might get him. He has to do what he can. Geordi is doing good here today.

And poor Data is WORRIED for his friend. Crusher asks him if he is and he’s like “I am an Android”. Yes, Data, we are well aware. Crusher has been in your guts. She knows you’re an android.

Geordi feels himself… changing, but stays on the Enterprise and explores video records. He finds there’s a shadow that’s unaccounted for, like someone else was there. He uses Holodeck magic to determine what was there, and has an Alien Attack, turning. At the same time, Crusher determines that there’s a parasite in Suzy’s thymus that’s changing her. They go to find Geordi, but he’s able to cloak now, and has ripped off his clothing. There’s a Naked Geordi running around the Enterprise.

Now the only one who can find him is Suzy, who is slowly becoming Human again now that they removed the parasite. But she can still detect them,

Suzy is able to talk him down, and convince him they can save him, and rescue what’s left of his humanity. BTW this makeup is so impressive. It apparently got nominated for an Emmy for makeup. It deserved it. Most watchable Geordi episode yet.

The Nth Degree - TNG 7/10

BARCLAY IS BAAAACK! He’s still an awkward anxious dude but he’s doing better. The episode starts with him and Crusher acting out Shakespeare. Barclay’s not great at it, he stutters but he’s not BAD. Data is like “I don’t get why we’re clapping he wasn’t very-“ “Uh, cause it’s POLITE?” responds Riker. Good lines. Barclay worries this isn’t right, because escaping into acting as someone else isn’t THAT much different than escaping into the Holodeck. If you don’t remember Barclay, he was the dude who ran holodeck programs where he’d fuck Dr. Crusher and ESPECIALLY Counselor Troi as escapism fantasy.

They’re examining some space array that’s been damaged, and as they are, a flash happens that stuns Barclay and knocks him out! Oh no! He was fine, just literally flashbanged. As he wakes up he seems fine but… a little pushy?

So, I know what this episode is about, and it worries me. In the first episode, Barclay was a creepy sex offender. And it made me really unsure what to think of that episode. Barclay has been trying to improve himself, and it’s been working, but now this flash has made him a Super Genius. And now he’s an annoying mansplainer.

He’s suddenly so good at everything. Including theater? That’s not how that works. I guess they’re showing him swinging from being shy and anxious to overly confident? That’s really all his flaw was. I think it’d be really funny if he was garbage at the arts though. BIG SCIENCE BRAIN SMARTS does not equal good at the arts. And now he’s becoming so… creepy. He’s really creepy and weird towards Troi, it’s uncomfy to watch.

“Oh, something is wrong with me? Why, because I’m now acting like the rest of the crew, confident?” “REG, YOU SPEND THE ENTIRE NIGHT TALKING TO ALBERT EINSTEIN ABOUT QUANTUM THEORY.”

His brain is 500% faster at, well, everything, and growing. Some are worried about not like, locking him up. But others are like “Yeah he can be a little weird and he made a pass at Troi (a good one, somehow) but he’s the only one who can help us fix the array. Until he does something, let him be as he was.”

Their attempts to fix the array are failing, and Barclay builds a computer in the Holodeck, and connects himself to it. He basically becomes the computer. And there’s no way to get him out unless they wanted to kill him. Barclay still isn’t antagonistic, he’s apologetic. He had to do it, their physical systems just weren’t enough. But it’s… a tense situation, everyone is worried, he COULD go too far easily, and they couldn’t stop him, especially since he is now the Enterprise computer. And as he goes further, he’s doing more wild things, like creating a subspace distortion to let them travel across galaxies.

This feels like another take on the 2nd pilot of TOS, “Where No Man Has Gone Before”, where a guy is hit by an alien effect and becomes a super genius super man, and slowly becomes evil as he feels he’s above everyone else. Like everyone else is children and he knows what’s right for them. This is happening with Barclay too, but he doesn’t really go that evil route. He just knows What’s Best, and ignore everyone asking him to stop. Then when they try to FORCE him to stop, literally attempting to murder him, he’s like “Hey look, I get it. I’m not taking this personally. But I can’t let you do this, sorry.”

And suddenly, Deus Ex. Turns out, Barclay was Uplifted so that he’d get the Enterprise to these guys, the Cytherians, who just wanted to meet people and exchange information, but they can’t leave their system. Barclay is de-uplifted, and everything is nice. He’s a bit more confident now, though. This is a fine episode in the end, it totally coulda gone in worse directions, and the “mansplaining” thing I mentioned wasn’t reallyh that much in the end.

Qpid - TNG 9/10

This is one of those Big Ones.

Picard is nerding out about Archaeology. He has a big event where he has to speak on Archaeology soon. He can’t keep his mind off of it, but as he’s going over his speech in his room, Vash suddenly appears, she “climbed through the window”, and they make out.

Remember Vash? She was the archaeologist Picard fucked on that one planet after Riker forced him to go down there and get laid.

She has a run of the Enterprise, including sitting in the captain’s chair. But Vash is a little unhappy, because as she meets the entire crew, she finds out that NO ONE knows who she is. Picard told her all about them. But he never told his crew about her. He’s a “very private man”. Picard found it’d be inappropriate, and she’s extremely offended, and they have an argument.

And then Picard’s day gets worse.

Last time we saw Q, he was a human. He’s back to his old self now, and considers that he would have died if not for Picard, so he wants to do something nice for Picard, get him a gift. Picard says his gift can be to go the fuck away. He’s very hard to gift shop for.

Q eventually gives him his gift. During Picard’s speech, everyone suddenly grows silly outfits, then are all transported back in time and put in place of Robin Hood.

THE LINE! THE LINE! THE LINE!

Q explains what’s happening. Madame Marian, in this case Vash, is in the castle and will be killed soon. So what is Picard to do, put his people in danger just to save one life? Well, Vash is doing well, seducing Sir Guy.

Half of this episode is utterly hilarious. There’s just scene after scene of hilarity.

This classic scene. Also the following one where Data is shot with a fucking arrow. Everyone is clearly having LOADS of fun.

Vash agrees to marry Sir Guy, confusing Q. And then Vash betrays Picard and gets him locked up, playing the EXCELLENT double agent. But oh shit, it’s a TRIPLE AGENT, as she tries to send a letter to Riker to get him to come and save Picard! But alas, Q finds out before it can go further. He finds her SO fascinating.

COOL FIGHT SCENE TIME! Riker comes, and Data causes an explosion to distract them, and the fight begins! It’s fun~. This episode just has fun with itself. There’s hints of grossness like, none of the women are allowed to fight with swords, THAT would be SILLY! Fuck off Berman, I can smell your stink. In the end Picard saves Vash, but Q offers her the WORLD, offering to help her travel across to places she’s never SEEN! Picard demands he keep her safe, fulfilling their debt. And we’ll see how THIS plays out in DS9 (not well)

This episode is goofy fun.

The Drumhead - TNG 10/10

This episode starts with a Klingon exchange officer who is the only suspect in sabotage and spying, selling secrets to the Romulans. He’s to be expedited to the Klingon High Council, but he tries to bribe Worf to help him escape. This pisses the fuck out of Worf, who’s family died due to spies for the Romulans, and he beats the fuck out of the guy. Fair.

An Admiral comes out of retirement to figure out what’s going on. The Enterprise exploded a bit because of the sabotage, and she’s here to figure out exactly what’s going on. Worf is a good investigator, figuring out he used some tech to steal stuff, disguised as a hypo syringe. After confronted, the Klingon admitted it, claiming that Klingons were getting WEAK due to their Federation alliance! The Romulans are STRONG! That’s why we should sneak and spy, you know, like Klingons do? But he didn’t do the explosion. That means there’s another spy onboard. It’s a conspiracy!

This Admiral seems interesting. She resented working with Picard at first, she prefers working alone, but feels it’s promising to work with Picard now. This is also good with Worf, who as I said, has Personal Feelings about all this. It’s all set up very well.

The Witch Hunts begin. The Admiral and her Betazoid investigator are rather… harsh. Picard, at first happy to work with all this, ends up becoming quite uncomfortable. Shortly after, Geordi and Data work to find out the explosion was actually a complete coincidence. The Admiral and her aides are… not convinced. It’s too much of a coincidence. You can see the hysteria of the witch hunt grow, with each small thing she does. Each thing she says, each reasoning, she comes up with reasonings and excuses which make sense. They’re… REASONABLE, sure, when you say them that way. But everything is a slippery slope, when it comes to fear of conspiracy and deceit.

And anyone who disagrees, or pushes back even slightly… is a suspect. I really love how Picard is pushing against this. “The road from suspicion to rampant paranoia is shorter than we think”. And he supports the current target of the witch hunts, Tarses. Picard talks to Tarses, who lied on his application to Starfleet about his grandfather, who was a Romulan, not a Vulcan. Well, too bad there isn’t any kind of prior legal precedent about someone lying on their application about their race, huh?

For even daring to defend him, for claiming their actions unethical and immoral, Picard is now under suspicion. CLEARLY the only reason he’d be against the Rule of Law is because he’s ALSO guilty, right?

He’s on trial now. They twist so many things from previous Trek episodes. The Romulan spy they worked with before, but didn’t stop (because they COULDN’T). His experiences with the Borg. Being pushy is putting it lightly. They are being downright fascist. And when Worf, who has been their ally this entire time, is like “Hey wait” they IMMEDIATELY turn on him. After all, his father CONSORTED WITH ROMULANS.

If there’s one thing I think I disagree with about this episode, it’s that the trials only stopped once the Top Brass walked out, as the admiral became irrational. It’s like, the fascism only stopped because she broke decorum, or was slightly irrational. Not because it was wrong, and fascist. This was my immediate thoughts, at least, like he DOES kinda give looks of “you brought me out for THIS SHIT?” I might have liked him more directly calling out her bullshit, instead of keeping it quiet, but still, it’s not THAT bad, just a small thing.

Worf is… PAINED that he helped her. Picard does not hold it over him, he does not belittle him. It’s easy. It’s easy to be taken in by paranoia. Vigilance, it’s the price we must pay.

Yeah this episode is very good. I love how it showed almost everything, and it did it so well. Showing how shitty McCarthyism is never looked so good.

---

Half a Life - TNG 7.5/10

IT’S TIME FOR THE TRASHIEST MOM IN SPACE!

This episode starts with Counselor Troi’s log entry. “Stardate, XXXX…. my mother is on board.”

And that’s it. Perfect. Lwaxana forces herself into wherever she wants to be, and doesn’t really care about other’s feelings on the matter. She forces herself into an important diplomatic meeting. There’s a scientist of a reserved people here, who’s looking for the Enterprise’s help to fix their dying sun. She’s like “NOPE NOW WE’RE PARTYING” in that way where she’s actually trying to fuck him.

She also called Worf “Mr. Woof” and almost shoots a photon torpedo. Once again, the trashiest mom in space.

The scientist is rather a morose individual, but isn’t like, against Lwaxana. He calls her “vibrant” and is receptive, going about with her whims more than anyone really should.

“Mr. Homn, spread it”

I’d rather he didn’t.

This alien scientist, Timicin, is a really good actor. As they do the test on a suitable star to see if it works, and as it works, he’s elated, happy he’s going to save his people… and then the tragedy, the depression, as it doesn’t work and the sun supernovas. Well, that sucks. Good thing we didn’t test it near where anyone lives.

And then we find out the second act plot twist. Timicin is nearing 60, and when someone reaches 60, everyone throws a giant party to him, celebrating him, and then he kills himself. Holy fuck.

Lwaxana Troi is NOT handling this well.

She storms to Picard, demanding he stop this. Uh, that’s their culture, it has nothing to do with him. She’s going to BEAM TO THEIR PLANET. O’Brien locks his console and excuses himself. She’s having a fucking panic attack, crying and freaking out. She’s going through all the stages of grief here on the fucking teleporter, and we finally see a beautiful scene with the two Trois, daughter and mother, as Troi comforts her mother, and tells her how amazing she is, how brightly she burns. It’s touching, and heart rending.

I guess she decides she can Fix Him though, and convince him not to return and die. I guess to become a political exile. So she fucks him lol which like, this is only going to end in tragedy, honey. It does, they have an argument, where each try to reason their point of view, but refuse to. It’s hard to watch, but like, it’s not like he can just leave. He’d be burdened with abandoning his people to their dying sun… Though it’s not like he can help them when they’re dead anyway.

This entire topic is a very dead discussion that I don’t think I’m able to like, have a philosophical discussion or decide Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong. A few things rub me the wrong way, the “face death with dignity” ideal alongside the “get rid of the burdens on society” nazi rhetoric is uncomfy. I mean people living in that society would say whatever they need to justify it, of course.

This actor is amazing. He says techno babble like it’s nothing, he expresses grief so well. As they’re on their way back, he finds a solution to his problem. MAYBE. It will take a time that he does not have, and when he tries to request asylum, his xenophobic goverment who BARELY let him work with the Enterprise are PISSED. They refuse to accept anymore work from him. They will attack the Enterprise if it leaves with him. He has no work, no family, no home. And meanwhile, that nazi comparison from earlier? REALLY feeling apt now. And they’re literally rather kill the entire planet, possibly, as their sun dies, than accept a change to their culture. Gross. But also, isn’t coming to their culture and saying its wrong and gross colonialism? This is hard to talk about.

In the end, he cannot seperate himself from his culture, and leaves. It is customany for loved ones to be there at the ending party, so Lwaxana Troi invites herself. Which is a very Lwaxana thing to do. This episode is hard to talk about. I think, for the topic, they did the best they could. It was well written, well shot, amazingly acted. But it’s a little hard to watch, at the same time. I dunno how they could have tackled this topic better though, in the framework of a TV show, or in the framework of STar Trek. Though sci fi is always one of the best ways to tackle these subjects, huh?

The Host - TNG 5/10

This episode basically starts with Crusher making out with some dude in the elevator. Just, bam, Crusher has a hot new ambassador boyfriend, no build up. And then Commander Cockblock, also known as Data, comes in and ruins their fun. Thank you, Data.

Turns out this guy is a Trill! He looks nothing like the Trill, and when he returns to his room, he opens his shirt and a fucking chest burster bulges, which I guess is supposed to be the symbiot?? Yeah they uh, really did not have the Trill solidified yet, did they? This is the best Trill ftr,

We actually looked into the Trill changes. This was the ONLY Trill, until Dax would be made up two seasons later. She was GOING to look more like this guy, Odan, but a combination of prosethetics costs mixed with an exec going “dax’s actor is hot, she needs to look hot, give her cheetah spots” got us the Trill design we know today.

I promise I will not to let this entire commentary be “lol retcons”, but the changes I can tell so far: head ridges. secretive race no one knows much about, not been a federation member for long I guess (canonically they’ve been here since Kirk’s time). They try to avoid teleports, as it kills the symbiot. The symbiot completely surpresses the host personality, it isn’t a blend. The trill here don’t mind fucking other species, unlike in DS9 where they avoid it cause others “don’t quite get it”. Y’know, like they don’t here.

Riker and Odan take a shuttle, despite warnings it might go badly. Anyways, it goes badly, and Odan’s host dies. As he dies he explains what the Trill are, parasites that survive on hosts. Riker volunteers to take on the place as a human host, which is a wild idea but okay.

Next time we see a Symbiot, it’s just a normal worm. Odan appears to be a Rainbow Disco Worm.

Crusher is NOT handling this well. She basically feels like Odan died, even though he’s right there, and is now her boss. I get it, it’s an interesting idea. Your partner suddenly looks like your boss wtf do you do. She has a panic attack at Troi, who tries to help and talk her through it. Tells her to accept him, and his love. But I mean, girl, when will you ever have an opportunity to fuck Will Riker ever again???

She still can’t handle it though, and Odan, in Riker’s body, basically tried to push himself on her. Which is very uncomfy. She eventually comes around though.

The mood is kinda awkward, and the music is all over the place.

God, look at Riker. He’s rejecting the host and it’s not going well. This looks like a man who’s been working in an ER for 48 hours straight. He does it though, he saves the day, and is put into his next host…

A WOMAN! Crusher could kiss and deal with Riker being her boyfriend, sure but a GIRL? THAT’S GOING TOO FAR! “Humans can’t just keep up with things like this”. Crusher, I dunno if you know this, trans women have existed for centuries. I know trans people aren’t discussed often in doctor circles but bear with me here.

This episode is… eh. Easily skippable.

The Mind’s Eye - TNG 9.5/10

Geordi is sitting around in a shuttle for a while and needs to relax, he has nothing to do. So he puts on some latin jams and plays trivial pursuit with the computer, which is kinda adorable and a very good Geordi moment. Then a Romulan Warbird appears in the window and he literally goes “HO!” and skills his milkshake, which is a good reaction to a Romulan warbird appearing on your view screen.

The Romulans hook Geordi up to something that puts images directly into his brain and FORCES him to watch scenes of people being tortured and other horrible things. They’re LITERALLY clockwork oranging him.

Meanwhile, Klingon Politics! There’s a high ranking Klingon Ambassador on board, with a VERY bumpy forhead (Klingons are like tortoises, if they’re dehydrated they get pyramiding). There’s some rebels in the Klingon empire, and he’s getting help from Picard. He’s FORCED to work with Worf, which he says is “…awkward”.

Back with the Romulans, Geordi is being mind controlled using the visor. They are testing the mind control by having him kill people in a simulation. We watch Geordi straight up murder O’Brien, which is horrible. How is DS9 ever supposed to happen now?! Then he’s sent back to the Enterprise, where he acts like he had the most pleasant vacation :D Oh he had such a LOVELY time~

Back in the B plot, Federation weapons have been found amongst the rebels. I love any time Humans show a backbone, Klingons are suddenly horny as fuck for them,

This episode knows what its doing. It’s good at setting up suspense and worry. Geordi sees O’Brien, and menaces towards him… before accidentally spilling a drink on him. Next scene, he’s looking down the barrel of a gun… but oh, he’s just doing tests on it to determine how Federation rifles were found between them. The following scene, Geordi shows how the rifle was actually Romulan make with the Klingons… suddenly, it zooms into his visor, showing Romulan text on the screen…. and Geordi is… off, but still, nothing happens. The suspense is powerful.

When his Sleeper Agent Skills finally activate, it’s a lot more subtle. He beams weapons down to pretend like it was the Federations trying to sneak weapons to the rebels. The Klingons call them out, and now everyone needs to figure out who the spy on the Enteprise is… oh, let’s put GEORDI AS THE MAIN INVESTIGATOR ON THE PROJECT.

Geordi investigating his own crime is very interesting. He’s earnestly trying to, and doing his best job… but also HE DID IT lol. He’s one of four people who could do it, and the only one with no alibi.

Old Ambassador guy enjoying a meal! And OH SNAP, plot twist, THIS GUY IS IN ON IT! He gives Geordi orders to kill the other Klingon leader, to start a Klingon Federation war. Meanwhile, Geordi is feeling off, even to himself. He wakes up and sends a message to O’Brien to see if here’s there. I guess he’s dreamt that he murdered O’Brien a dozen times, huh?

EXTREMELY tense scene. Geordi is on his way to murder the Klingon leader… and Data is sleuthing out what’s going on. Data and Worf save the day, and the Ambassador is arrested by the Klingons, and prolly immediately thrown out an airlock, considering Klingons.

And then we see Geordi grappling with what happened… he’s having a therapist meeting with Troi, grappling with what he’s done, as Troi works with it through him.

VERY good episode.

In Theory - TNG 4/10

This episode starts with Data and this new Ensign, Jenna, in a conversation. Jenna’s ex is hounding her, and Data is like “As per your request, I will now list all the reasons you broke up with him. He did not ‘do the little things’. He slurped his soup. He did not ‘do the thing with his mouth’ when you requested it”. It’s fucking hilarious. Data’s been studying relationships to better connect with humans, and support his friends, and she finds it so sweet.

Data and Jenna have been hanging out a lot. THey do recitals together and go on what is essentially double dates with the only canonical couple on the ship, O’Brien and Keiko. She’s very obviously rebounding on Data. She wants that data dick. He IS fully functional.

Meanwhile there’s some B plot of about a Nebula they’re studying I dunno. Back to Jenna and her boytoy. Data tries to seek advice after she kisses him, and asks everyone on the ship in montage format. Guinan says he has to decide himself. Geordi is like “DO NOT ASK ME ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” and I agree. Troi says to be careful, which I also agree, don’t hurt her. Worf is like “do whatever you want, but if you hurt her, I will kill you”. Riker says “Are you kidding me? She’s hot as hell, fuck her!” And Picard is like “Once I figure out how to date women myself, I’ll let you know.”

I did not make any of that up.

Also, apparently, Spot got out of his room! But no one was logged as opening the door. God please don’t let her be a stalker.

Data decides to give it a try. He does this in the most Data way possible. Bringing her flowers, admitting Riker suggested it and said they worked for him in the past. He then tries to hug her in a stilted awful way. I think she’s a little weirded out, but tbh it’d work on me.

Meanwhile, some weird shit is on Picard’s floor. I THINK this is the B plot?

So, Jenna comes over to Data’s room, and he’s being his usual Data Self. She brings him a gift, he analyzes it. She says he should continue what he’s doing, so he does. She then gets annoyed and tries to critique him on what you should do when you’re dating someone. This is my major issue with this. Like, she knows Data. They were friends. She liked him for his Data-ness before. Now, she doesn’t like his data-ness. Did you really like him in the first place? I get having a crush on data, I WOULD HAVE A CRUSH ON DATA. But I would crush on Data knowing that he cannot crush on me back, and would like him for his Data-ness. It really doesn’t seem that way with her. And when he reads up on how to be a better partner, and like, smiles, and is loose, she doesn’t like THAT EITHER.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, WOMAN? If you don’t appreciate Data, I WILL.

How romantic?

He then has a “lovers quarrel” with her, because that’s what all the tropes say to do! :D Oh Data. She doesn’t like it.

MEANWHILE, BACK TO THE B PLOT WITH SOME FUCKING HORROR. Things are phasing in and out of reality. A few people nearly die. Then, they hear a scream, and THIS SHOT.

THIS WOMAN, DEAD, PHASED THROUGH THE FLOOR. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS EPISODE?! WHY ARE THESE TWO PLOTS IN THE SAME EPISODE?!

This feels like a shitpost from that 8th season of TNG Twitter account. “Data goes on a date with an Ensign to try and find out what it means to love. Meanwhile, a nebula causes dimensional disturbances and murders half the Enterprise crew.”

I am so checked out as Picard forces himself on the shuttle, for some reason, to do Techno Babble so that they can escape the nebula safely. They make it out, Picard almost exploding. Anyway now that that’s over it’s back to the A Plot. Jenna breaks up with him, the end. You had one chance to date the best TNG cast member, and you blew it, Jenna. Apparently the idea of this episode was based on people sending mail in to Leonard Nimoy, like “I am literally romantically in love with Spock. I know he feels no emotion, but I COULD MAKE HIM LOVE ME”.

That’s not how you relationship lol. This is also not how to A and B plot.

Redemption: Part 1 - TNG 9/10

WE’RE DOING THE PART ONE THING AGAIN? FUCK YOU.

KLINGON EPISODE! They’re gonna go to the Klingons and see Gowron be ascended to the leader of the Klingon Empire. Meanwhile, Worf is going too so that he can right the wrongs of his dishonor, and get that bullshit all cleared, now that it’s clear Duras was the real baddie. Picard, his Cha’dich, and Worf are interrupted by Gowron, who shows up, and said they only have a little time left, they must act fast if they’re to avoid… CIVIL WAR.

Gowron also learns of what happened to Worf, and and that the council let Worf suffer so that they didn’t piss of Duras. He is NOT happy, but he can’t help. If he tries, that will only break the Empire. It pisses him off, but to survive, he has to.

Amazing scene. Worf is doing target practice, and Guinan comes in. “Are you sure? I practice on level 14.” “Oh. I guess I can go down to that difficulty level for a while” and then she smokes him while doing her Guinan Thing. Good shit.

Worf decides he needs to do something. He requests a leave of absense, and makes his way to his brother, who isn’t good with Gowron, OR Duras. He says there SHOULD be a civil war, so we can get rid of the council and put a new one in its place. “Our leaders have failed. They no longer deserve our loyalty”. Damn. When did Star Trek get so woke?

Worf, however, refuses. And he forces Kurn, his brother, to back Gowron. Klingon Political episodes are so fucking fire, jesus.

As soon as Picard is about to announce Gowron as the new leader (remember, he is the arbiter of ascension), Duras’ sisters show some kid they claim as Duras’ son, and claim HE should be the leader. Yeah uh huh, sure. They have allies on the council though, PLUS they’re working with the Romulans, and some SHADOWY ROMULAN LADY! She was ALSO in the Geordi episode earlier, oh no!

Picard is not happy that Worf is using Federation records to prove his innocence. It’s a conflict of interest. But he doesn’t want the Duras family in charge. Duras literally tried to kill him, a few times. He makes the files freely open, but refuses to do much more.

But then…

They INVITE PICARD DOWN, AND HE JUST… COMES? At first I was like “WTF” but he knows, if they kill him now, any justification is out the window. He also says, very VERY plainly, he sees what’s going on. He will not be used as a chess piece, he’s PLAYED THIS GAME. Picard, of course, still rules against them, and the civil war begins, with one last epic line from Gowron. “Do you not see what you will become if you follow them? Then go. Your blood shall paint the way to the future.”

Worf is here to swoop in and offer support. Gowron will accept… but only if the Federation entervines. Will the Federation join and help the loyalists in the new Klingon civil war?

The answer is no. Even with Worf on the ship, Picard does not help, and leaves, as Gowron’s ship, Worf on board, is under attack, and nearly destroyed. But KURN shows up just in time, with Worf also helping protect them. And Gowron is installed, and Picard is brought back to do one single final thing as his duty as the arbiter of succession. Worf is given back his honor. All is right.

Oh right there’s still a fucking revolution. Picard still refuses to drag the Federation to war, and Worf quits, as Picard refuses to let him y’know, fight in the war. Worf just straight up quits the Federation and leaves, getting a spot on Gowron’s ship. I do wish they went a different route for Worf here. Worf is like “I lived all my life around humans, but I am still a Klingon, and I feel the call of the warrior”. I do wish instead he had gone “I have lived all my life aroudn humans. If Gowron were to lose, the Federation would be hurt by the following Romulan/Klingon alliance. I must protect my friends”. He DOES cite the future Romulan/Klingon alliance, but that’s not his reasoning. I wish it was.

Everyone comes to honor Worf as he leaves. They should have brought pain sticks. He leaves, and then we get… the stinger for the following part.

Romulan Tasha Yar. What the fuck.

SEASON FINAL THOUGHTS

Over all, amazing season, best Trek season so far. I mean, EVERY TNG season has been best Trek season so far. Honestly not that many HORRIBLE episodes? Just the Geordi one was the one real bad one off the top of my head. Can’t wait for season 5, especially cause season 5 involves building up for DS9~ Gee I wonder who the new Enterprise Weapons Officer is going to be!