LizstarTrek - Enterprise Season 2 episodes 1 -

Every Sunday my Twitch subs and I watch Star Trek in my Discord. Here are my reviews and thoughts on each of the episodes as I see it. If you’re curious about a nerd’s views on Star Trek episodes, please read on, I go quite in depth with some of these episodes! I’ve watched some Star Trek before but not all of it!

IT’S BEEN A LOOOOONG ROOOOOAAAD

Shockwave Part 2 - ENT 6/10

Daniels is NOT handling his world being blown up very well. Why do all these time travel cops snap and break the SECOND something bad happened with time travel? You’d think they’d be PREPARED for this shit. Remember the guy from Voyager who became a screaming raving hobo telling everyone about time travel after being stranded in the past? Idiots.

Enterprise is taken by the Suliban, who’re holding everyone hostage while they’re searching for Archer. Trip tries to fight them even thoguh they have guns on him and say “we will kill people if you resist”. I think I’ve realized what Trip reminds me of. He’s like a Chihuaha in a Human body. He yaps angrily at everything even though he knows it’ll do nothing and gets himself into danger trying to fight people he has no chance or hurting.

“We learned how to do time travel in high school” says Daniels. Why? Why did you do that? That seems very, very bad.

Rick Berman, I’m gonna NEED you to keep your fucking “tie a woman up and torture her” fetish out of Star Trek for one fucking show, please, I FUCKING beg of you.

This is not beating the “part 2s are usually worse than the 1st part” allegations.

T’Pol is drugged out of her mind, when Archer manages to communicate with her. He’s doing a big Wizard of Oz thing with her, and needs her help, but she’s VERY zonked. But next time we see her she’s fine and working towards helping so I guess we’ll just forget that. Wow, there was no reason to have that “drug T’Pol and torture her” scene from earlier? No way! Rick Berman should be arrested.

They then force Hoshi to sneak through the shafts in a tanktop. Usually I’d love an episode of people Die Harding through the space ship, but this has the stink of Horny Berman all over it, as Hoshi moans her way through the engineering shafts, freaking out cause of claustrophobia. It’s way, WAY too Horny. And then she rips her shirt and gets naked. Rick Berman should be tried for war crimes.

Do you remember how Vulcans are super physically strong? Anyways cause T’Pol is a weak little girl she’s used as bait and dragged off easily by two big strong men. Rick Berman should be executed for war crimes.

Reed is captured while trying to take soemthing from Daniels’ locker, as the Humans sabatoge the warp core and prepare the ship to blow the fuck up. The Suliban take the thing from Reed but run away. Turns out they just faked a warp core explosion to get control back. Meanwhile, Silik is trying to use the thing he took from Reed to talk to Emperor Palpatine, and then turns out OH NO, IT’S ACTUALLY ARCHER, who jumps through time and decks him in the fucking face.

Archer takes Silik hostage and returns. Ambassador Soval, the Vulcan ambassador, still is like “You are a menace to this quadrant and must be stopped, I don’t care if you’re innocent”. Why did they assign an ambassador to Earth who CLEARLY hates Humans? Anyways, T’Pol speaks up and calls him out, defending Archer. Her speaking up STUNS everyone, and is probably what saved it. Enterprise continues.

Neli: “Okay. I didn’t hate the moments that weren’t offensive”

I couldn’t say it better myself. Good concepts and fun moments, especially the T’Pol bit at the end, is quite good. And then Berman’s spunk is all OVER this from him masturbating to it.

Carbon Creek - ENT 10/10

Trip, Archer, and T’Pol are celebrating her being on the ship for a full year. Impressive since the last longest time serving on a Human ship was 10 days. While having dinner, Archer asks why T’Pol was visiting Carbon Creek, a random mining town in Pennsylvania in 1957. She tells the story, and it becomes a Story Episode of her tlaking about her ancestors who crash landed on Earth hundreds of years ago. Her great grandmother, specifically. Her Gram Gram, T’Mir, is played by T’Pol’s actor, a classic just like when Voyager did it with Janeway’s ancestor. The seed is strong, I suppose.

Anyways T’Mir and another Vulcan go into town, steal some clothes, and try to blend in, just to try and get food, cause they’ll starve otherwise. They’re bad at blending in but it’s basically just two nerds with autism. Now it IS 1957, but people are taking it generally in stride. At least neither of the Vulcans are black, could you imagine?

T’Mir’s associate, Mestral, gambles on Pool and gets them some food. Trip feels like this is something out of the Twilight Zone but I’m kinda digging it so far. They get some odd jobs around town. T’Mir is annoyed at the situation, wants to avoid Humans, and thinks they’ll just blow each other up. Mestral appreciates the Humans, thinks them full of empathy and compassion, and expects they’ll do great things in the future. He’s also kind of a Humaboo, and is a fan of I Love Lucy. Also fun since I Love Lucy is so integral to Star Trek existing, its a cute reference.

Mestral also has very big Data vibes. This actor totally watched some Brent Spiner before this.

Anyways turns out Mestral is sneaking out to have dates with a bartender in town. T’Mir is NOT happy and tries to stop him but like, what power does she have? Yes she’s his commanding officer, but y’know. But T’Mir eventually starts to come around. There’s a kid who’s a bright, friendly kid around town. She connects to him a bit.

Some Humans get trapped in a mine. Mestral steals a weapon to try and break them out. T’Mir is like “They only live at most 70 years so why even bother to extend their lives for a bit longer?” and he’s like “it’s called compassion? They’re my friends, and I’m going to help them.” T’Mir comes around and helps him though, guiding him through so he can do it safely without being caught.

They get a message. They’re being rescued in three days. T’Mir’s young friend wishes her luck moving back home. Turns out he can’t go to college after all, he wasn’t accepted. He needs money, but they’re just a poor bar family. T’Mir spends the next few days taking a train into the city…. where she shows a big corpo bro fucking VELCRO, then donates all the money. Fantastic.

Mestral doesn’t want to leave. He’s fascinated by this species. And Maggie. And her breasts. But mostly their species. So they pretend he died in the crash, and then they blast off. Trip is like “omg he was around for 30 presidents afterwards and no one caught it???” Do you imagine 80 years later, Mestral was watching the TV and saw Trump won re-election and was like “I should have gone back to Vulcan”

Trip and Archer don’t believe her, but then she goes back to her quarters and pulls out a purse left by her gram gram.

This was fantastic. Best episode of Enterprise so far, absolutely. It had the Star Trek optimism, actually good well-written Vulcans, funny good writing. It was just… fantastic.

Minefield - ENT 5/10

Reed has a dinner with the Captain and is very awkward about it. The Captain is like “Dog, chill” then they’re called up to do some routine exploration when suddenly the fucking ship explodes.

Something just up and blew up a chunk of the ship. 17 Casualties, including Hoshi, but no fatalities. I’m STUNNED honestly. Turns out they’re in a mine field filled with a bunch of cloaked mines. One latches onto the ship, and Reed goes out into space to detatch it. Meanwhile, a green ship uncloaks, shoots a warning shot, and yells in some language they can’t understand, because Hoshi has a concussion.

While Reed is trying to defuse the bomb, a spike comes and impales Reed right in the leg. Foam stops his suit from bleeding oxygen, but things aren’t lookin’ good. Archer goes out to help him, give him some anesthetic, and has to shut it down with Reed’s advice now.

Hoshi translates just enough t o find out… it’s some group called the Romalin Star Empire? T’Pol corrects her. It’s pronounced Romulan. Holy shit, actual first contact with Romulans? This is what we WANTED from Enterprise, not any of that Temporal Cold War shit.

Reed and Archer have some hearts to heart. Reed admits he just feels it’s not right to fraternize with a superior officer. He’s kinda a boring dude, honestly, right down to it. He’s also just kinda unhappy with Archer cause he thinks Archer should be a shitty, bad captain. Reed has bad opinions.

The Romulans, now that Hoshi can translate the language, are like “Get the fuck out of here. Just detatched that hull plating, kill your crewman, and leave.” Ahh, Romulans. As unforgiving of any others existing as always. Anyways the mine will explode if they try and disarm it like this. So Reed tries to kill himself so that they’ll just knock off the plate off. He’s like “JUST BE A GOOD (read: bad) CAPTAIN FOR ONCE AND LET ME DIE A HERO”. Reed is a fucking weirdo.

Archer comes up with a big dumb plan. He cuts the thing, and it explodes. They use plating as shields and protect themselves, launching away from the blast. Absolutely nuts. But it works, the end.

They probably should have just cut through his leg. Anyways, I found this mostly boring. Reed is just kinda boring.