Game

This is La-Mulana.

So, it’s March of 2026. And the Wii rollout happens. So many Wii and Wiiware games released for RA. I hadn’t been really doing much RA, but I rolled out of retirement to try and get the 50 so points needed to get the event badge (which I eventually did). But what would be the first game? There are so many good Wii games out there, and many more I’ve never played.

How about one I’ve played a hundred times that fucking hates you?

Game

La-Mulana is a truly special game. Originally a free PC game from like, 2006, it was heavily inspired by hard as nails and convoluted MSX games. But it got a remake on the Wii in 2009. That remake is still available on Steam, in fact, and while it’s quite different from the original, it’s still very much worth it.

In La-Mulana you play as Lemeza, an archaeologist inspired by Indiana Jones who must enter the lost ruins of La-Mulana to try and find the Secret of Life. His father, Shawn, entered and never came back, so he must do what his father could not. Along the way you’ll scan tablets for hints and lore and fight enemies with your trusty whip and collect items and powerups and die and die and die and die

Game

If La-Mulana is known for anything, it’s being very rude. I’ve beaten it a hundred times, so like, it’s nothing to me, I know every puzzle and combat situation like the back of my back. So, my stomach, which I can see. But for the uninitiated, it’s VERY hard to get into, and it is NOT for everyone. You have to like retro note taking puzzle games and appreciate it’s weird jank movement. Lemeza is pretty stiff and awkward to fight with, and some of these bosses are wild.

Game

It is, at its heart, essentially just a metroidvania. But it takes that formula and twists it in such a way that honestly, I feel it’s part of a new genre. One that I’ve lovingly called “Galioustroids”. But usually people just call it like, Meta Puzzlers or Metroidvanias That Care About Information. As you progress you learn more and more lore and information that lets you do things you never would have thought. Games like this walked so Void Stranger or Tunic could soar.

That’s not to say it’s old or outdated. Absolutely not! Many of the puzzles are still fresh nonsense. They’d step up their game again in La-Mulana 2, I feel, which has some TRULY vile puzzles (the entirety of Hell is straight up fucked up), but this game is no slouch.

When this set came out, I was in a race to be the first person to master it, but sadly due to a mess up on my part (it’s hard to do the All Character Endings and I’d literally never done it before), I had to play the game three times so I was the third person to master it. But that’s fine. This won’t be the last time we see La-Mulana~